Unexpected Reaction to Newborn

InACitySoNice

I took DD to a friend's house yesterday for a playdate.  The mom had just had her second baby 2 weeks ago.  Cutest little thing in the world.  And then it sank in ... I'm having another one of those in about 5 weeks.  A real, live baby who's got to be breastfed and changed and everything, in my apartment, in my life forever.

I thought I was going to have my first ever panic attack.  I was like, "What the heck was I thinking?!  I can't have another baby!  I'm going through the terrible twos with this one.  And then I'll have a newborn!?  I don't remember how to change those!  Wash those! Feed those!"

Oh, Gosh ... Every time I think about it, I try not to freak out ... But I'm freaking out.  Two kids?  What the heck was I thinking?  And then DH asked me later that night when we can start the FET for baby #3.

I'm having another baby!?  Help.  HELP!!!

futureMrs.Eanes

Oh honey, I think that is a completely normal reaction.   Of course this is a life changing event, but so was having DC #1 and you survived that.  Yes, it will be more work.  Yes, you will be exhausted.  But you were those things with the first one.  You will make it work because you have to.  And just like you figured out how to feed, dress, wash, etc. your first, everything will come flooding back once you are holding your second.  Your family is growing and that is a blessed event!

howleyshell

Hee hee.... it's just hitting you?

I was like that for the full 9 months!!!

All I can tell you is that it was wayyy easier than I thought it would be.

You're a pro.  You've done this before and now you can do the "baby" thing with one hand tied behind your back.

The sleep deprivation part does suck.  Nothing's worse than a toddler and a Mommy lacking patience due to sleep deprivation but you'll get thru it.

Once you imerge from the sleepless first couple of months you won't be able to remember what your life was like before 2!!

Hang in there!! 

And page me if you need some support.

Mine are 17 months apart.

HTH

Shell

InACitySoNice

Thanks for the encouragement, futureMrs.  It's just so scary.  And so was my reaction!  I so didn't want to hold that baby, darling as he was.  I couldn't breathe easy until he was asleep.  And I was sooo glad to leave.

Babies are soooo scary.  I love DD to pieces and everything, but ... Man!  They need to much! 

And we still don't have a middle name!  And I don't have enough time to do all the cleaning I need to do!  And we're not enrolled in any classes for next semester!  And ... And ... And ...!!!

But thanks for the encouraging words.  I know I can do it.  I think. 

InACitySoNice

Howleyshell -- I don't know how you did it with 2 who are 17 months apart.  I don't know.  I just don't know.

Was it the scariest thing you've ever done?  I feel like I'm in line for the scary rollercoaster and there's no way out of the line and all you can do is get through it.  Pray to as many gods as you can think of.  Make promises to higher powers you've never imagined.  Bargains with God.

I've really been in denial for a while, I guess.  And it worked for a while.  Until reality hit last night with that little baby and his little spindly legs and his eyes that couldn't focus yet.  Crap. 

bethCT

I had that panic attack the other day too.
DH decided to go the humor route and he said that if baby gets to be too overwhelming, we'll just pop the batterys out for a few hours
HUG, I know we can do this!

nicolita14w

InACitySoNice:

And we still don't have a middle name!  And I don't have enough time to do all the cleaning I need to do! 

I feel you here, and i'm just on #1. I just can not get settled on a middle name, and there is so much cleaning. I can't do a lot of it due to trouble bending over, so I'm trying to direct DH, but of course then it's never as clean as I want it to be!

niknak1128

I think that's totally normal.  I mean I felt that way when we were sent home from the hospital with this one.. our first and only right now.  I was like huh.. what.. now what do I do... it's just up to us now.. like we just leave with him?  It's overwhelming for sure.  You'll figure it out though.. it'll all come back to you and I'm sure once that baby is here you won't know how you ever lived without either of them. 

howleyshell

I could have written exactly what you did about being in line for the scary roller coaster.

All I can tell you is that it's natural.

The second Jace was born I fell in love all over again.  I'd honestly thought that I could never love another the way I loved Dylan and was terrified about how the baby would effect his world.

Turns out I got to see Dylan in a whole new light - as a big brother!

I won't lie.  The first few months are tough.  Start now getting your toddler prepared to be physically without you.  Tell the toddler he has to wait for things.  Practice reigning in the toddler with just your words - singing songs, reading books, etc.  Figure out what keeps the toddler busy the best and have it ready to go during feedings, etc.  When all else fails - play soccer in the living room while nursing.  HEE HEE!!

Seriously?  The scariest thing I've EVER done was handle all 4 of us having the runs and puking at the same time.  Now that I've handled that I'm confident that I can handle almost anything thrown our way.

You can do this.

Trust me....  If I can do it - ANYONE can!!!

I love it so much that I WISH I could convince DH to try for another one right now.

HTH

Shell

julandjo

Ditto Howleyshell on everything.  Mine are 25 months apart, and I got very nervous toward the end of my second pg because DS was just starting his "terrible twos" behavior.  But honestly, having 2 is waaaaaaaaaay easier than I thought.  In fact, it's waaaaaaay easier than having the first was for me.  You've already experienced the life-altering shock that a first baby brings.  The second just seems to fall into place.  And it's so amazing watching your older child bond with your younger child.  You'll do great!

marriedgirl05

Totally, totally with you.  I try not to think about it, honestly! :-)  I concentrate on the baby related details I can take care of, and ignore the fact there will be an actual newborn in this house with us in 4.5 months.