A question for SAHMs

LisaMarisa

Do you feel like you have nothing to talk about except the baby?  I love being home with him, I adore him, and I cant imagine leaving him to go to work, especially because I hated my job, but I feel like I have nothing to talk about.  Sometimes I catch the news but I am usually preoccupied with the baby and if he is sleeping then I am trying to get things done around the house.  I'm worried about my relationship with DH.  The only time I see him is when he gets home from work.  He gets home around 7, we eat (sometimes together, sometimes one of us is keeping the baby occupied), we watch a little tv and then the baby and I go to bed around 9:30 or 10.  We talk on the phone a couple of times a day but just to check in.  But I feel like we have nothing to talk about and it worries me.  Will it get better?  It is kind of a conflicting feeling because I am happy as can be just staying home with him and watching baby einstein but I dont want my relationships to suffer, most importantly my relationship with my husband.  Am I alone in this?

 Edit:  I just want to reiterate that staying home is absolutely what I want to do, I just want to make sure that I'm taking care of my marriage too.
 

niknak1128

I'm not able to be a SAHM but I've been off for almost 2 months with DS and believe me.. I would give anything to be able to have nothing to talk about but my baby. You're really lucky and I'm jealous. =( 

Kim777

That's the majority of what we talk about, but in a way I guess it is just our new normal and I don't necessarily know that our relationship is suffering for it. Unfortunately the other thing we talk about all the time is our lack of income and very precarious financial situation with DH out of work, so like pp I'd rather be just talking about Rhett at this point! But seriously, I think what helps is that I am very active in my local Nest board. DS and I have a lot of friends who we get out and do things with. Then I also leave DS with DH occasionally to get out and scrapbook or go to dinner with friends. I keep involved (though definitely not on as regular basis as before) with some of my old hobbies and interests and we talk about those. We also still have our same mutual friends that we always have and we talk about stuff that is currently going on with them. Then there has been a lot of talk about politics and current affairs lately too. I absolutely agree that it is harder to find stuff to talk about that is not baby related now. It is so easy to fall into that. We have made a conscious effort to find other things to talk about because we do wonder what our relationship will be like when our kids get older and are no longer the center of our lives. We do have to keep some other common interests alive. But like I said, I think we have just kind of adjusted and this is our new normal now!

Mrs.Reem

I've been both a working mom and a SAHM most recently. Honestly... in both cases I feel like all I have to talk about is the baby. I don't think it matters whether you're working or not if that makes you feel better.

jsusann

It may seem weird now b/c it's so new but I think you'll be fine. Your baby will continue to grow and the magnitude of things he will do, I think, will most definately be the most interesting things you and your husband will talk about. Wait until he's crawling, walking and then a toddler. I may sound corny, but the "excitement" really never ends and there is always something new.

Newborns eat, sleep, poop and do it all over again (my good friend calls it the "4th trimester"). Things get crazier and more interesting as your baby grows, does, and says things you could write novels about. I am home with my daughter all the time and when my husband comes home, my stories of Lilly and our day are way more interesting than his Corporate America ones, which sadly include more and more items of layoff rumors and their sagging profit margins.

rispergirl

I worry about this a lot and have talked about it with DH and my friends who have kids.  All the friends say that it gets better after the first few months of the baby's life.  As pp mentioned, they get more interesting so your discussions about them are more than pooping, etc.    And as you get into more of a routine, it's easier to carve out little pieces of time to read a magazine article or catch up with an old friend so that you're doing more than just baby stuff.  I'm hoping that's all true!