What to do about pushing/pulling

cmcmillan

As Lauri (nancydrew) witnessed at Little Gym I have "that" child.  The one who walks up to his friends and pushes or pulls hair for no reason. I understand it's an age thing, pushing limits, seeing what he can get away with.. but it's driving me crazy. 

 I break up the situation, have him say sorry (i know he doens't really understand).  Tell him we don't push/pull our friends.  I will make him sit with me for a few minutes and repeat the little speal.  Anything else I can do? Any ideas?

pinktulips

Sounds like you are right on track. As he gets a little older, I would talk about where you are going and being nice, etc on the way in the car. Then remind him again once you are there. If he pushes/pulls then say "I can't let you treat our friends that way. Pushing (etc) isn't nice and if you keep doing it, we will have to leave." Then follow through. But - that is only when he begins to understand.

scarletii

I think you are doing everything you should be doing.  Just make sure you are consistent with it.  He'll get the message eventually! 

Seattle_JiLLn

sounds like you're doing it right.  You just need to make sure you're right on top of him to break it up immediately... don't be "that mom" that's over socializing and ignoring her kid at Little Gym while he's pushing kids!  ("that mom" was at our class yesterday! 

The other thing is try to see wht triggers it.  Is it when he meets new people?  If so, try to help him when he meets new kids - figure out something he can do instead - like teaching him to say "Hi I'm Mason" instead of pushing.  Or if it's when he wants a toy or something, just try to watch when that's about to happen and swoop in before it happens.

MrsAmyB

Its apart of toddlerhood, I guess.   I agree, at least you are staying on top of it and not ignoring the situation.  Talk through it with him.  We dont have Meg say she is sorry, but that is just our own opinion.   I think you are doing the right thing!

cmcmillan

Thanks.. it's nice to hear that I am on the right track.  I do stay right with him at Little Gym, and any other times we are interacting with other kids. I think it has to do with sharing, he will see a kid going to use a station at Little Gym, run across the mat, just to say "no" and push them off.  I jump in before as much as I can, hopefully he gets the hint soon.

Seattle_JiLLn

Ben did a bit of that too... like no one can play with anything I might some day want to play with...

 We just talk a LOT about taking turns, and how we can ALL play with things... We will sit and wait and watch while someone else takes their turn, so we can be ready when it's our turn.   Or in the case of toys, I will sometimes say "Let's take a turn with this other toy, and maybe Mary can let you know when she's done with the truck."

I also have him say sorry and then give a high five or a hug.  I do think Ben is really understanding the concept of saying "sorry".   He has started saying it (occasionally) on his own.