whitedress

isabella22

Hi, I have a personal questions, if you don't mind answering.

My friend, who I mentioned yesterday was in preterm labor at 23 weeks, gave birth to her daugher, who was stillborn this morning.

We took her some gifts, and when we went to see her she seemed in shock.  You mentioned that you had pprom at that time and it didn't have a happy ending.  I was wondering if you could shed any personal experience on what she may go through?  I know everyone is different, and this post seems somewhat stupid now, but I am just really worried about her.  She seems to be taking the 'instantly over it' approach to grief.

whitedress11

shock.... is an understatement.

you have to stay awake and give birth.... name the child and sign a dealth certificate. i have said it before on here (i am pretty open about it... because if i can help someone i will) I will never be the same person. the day jenna died.... a piece of me went with her. i made my h clear out the house of any and all baby stuff at that time. it was so hard coming home... and going back to work to face everyone. i am a teacher so i had 22 3rd graders wondering what happened. i cried everyday for at least a month. i took me two months to even be able to look at the pictures of jenna at the hosptial. i got pg 3 mo later.... and honestly it was too soon.i just now..... three years later and a healthy baby later am able to put on the pj' s i was wearing when my water broke. i still think your friend would find the website very informative.... and let's her know she is not alone.....pprom girls have a bond. and if she has any questions about being pg after pprom, let me know.

i am so sorry for your friend. just be there for her and listen... and never tell her to just get over it, because she will never just get over it. let me know if there is anyway i can help.

sara

isabella22

thank you for sharing.

That is what I am worried about, she was saying how she was going to be fine, go back to work, etc.  She is an MD and so is her husband, so I am worried they are just focusing on the 'facts' and not letting themselves feel the emotions.

I am beyond sorry if anything I wrote made it sound like I would ever tell her to 'just get over it'.  I was devestated when I had a m/c very early on, I cannot even fathom the immense pain that losing a child at 23 weeks would be like.  I would never suggest that someone could get over this.