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Washington Babies
Feeling like a Failure (Major Hormonal Post)
I feed her forumla last night.
I cried and cried as I was doing it....I feel like such a bfing failure.
I'd been doing her feedings and pumping every 2 - 3 hours as suggested, but at her 12 am feeding - she just kept wanting to feed, but she wouldn't latch on and I was out of BM in a bottle to satiate her with a few sucks then keep trying to latch on like the LC suggested.
By 2 she was screaming so hard, she actually stopped breathing for a second and scared the hell out of my husband and I.
So I gave her formula and we slept - and I gave her a bit more the next feeding at 7. I didn't pump either time because my BBs were so sore and I was so tired.
And then I thought maybe I'd just use forumla to tempt her instead of pumping because I hate it so much...but reading through the materials I was sent home with, I know that's just me being weak - so I'll pump after this feeding (in about 15 minutes).
I just needed to cry on someone's shoulders....I know there are babies with way worse problems than Maddy and I are having with bfing....it's just so overwhelming I don't know what to do with myself at moments.
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Re: Feeling like a Failure (Major Hormonal Post)
It is a lot of hard work and I remember feeling just like that! It does get easier, I promise! But boy were there nights in the beginning where I just couldn't bear to hear her cry and I felt like such a bad mommy. Even thinking of it now, I still het a little teary eyed. You will get through it! It's ok to be discouraged. If you really want it wo work out, don't give up. Soon you will find that it gets easier. There have been many times when I wanted to give up as well. But I always told myself I would take at least 3 days to think about it before giving up. Wouldn't you know... it always got better within 3 days.
Big hugs to you! Get someone to wait on you hand and foot while you focus your energy on BFing!
You are not a failure, and formula won't hurt her. You need to be a happy and healthy mom, and she needs to eat. You did the right thing, It's OK. Really. And just because you're supplementing even occasionally doesn't mean your supply won't even out and get you back to not needing it. Ben had quite a bit of formula for his first month, and then we worked it all out and he didnt' need it. Then I went back to giving it to him once a day, because I didn't want to be a slave to the pump anymore and I wanted him to be OK drinking either thing. Plus, it let me give bedtime to Dh so I could f'ing go to sleep!
I think you're doing what you need to do, and it's all just FINE!
Breastfeeding is hard, and so is being a mom. ?You expect things to come naturally, you read all the books, you take all the classes, and then when the baby comes you have absolutely no clue what you're doing.
I tried to look at it this way--you're doing yourself and her a favor by not burning yourself out early. ?And I really don't think it will affect your supply. ?Honestly, it's so early that it won't make a difference. ?You're doing a great job:).
Heather....YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! I remember crying when I gave Logan his first formula. It is harder than you can possibly imagine and Maddy is your little girl. You do what is right for not only her but for you as well. I haven't read thru the other posts but I am sure I will only echo what others say...call the LC, ask for help. I had horrible soreness and bleeding with Logan and put burn relief pad on my nipples. It was soothing and it prevented the skin from drying out. Hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there!!??
Oh I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but you are NOT a failure, sometimes our bodies do not do what we tell them to! You have been through so much, giving BIRTH and all!
I feel the same way b/c I can't pump enough for my boys but I figure a little is better than nothing and there is nothing wrong with formula (or they wouldn't let us give it to our babies!)
Keep your chin up, positive thinking for your bb's! BIG HUG!
Big big hugs for you Heather. We supplemented for quite a while because I had supply issues and it didn't hurt J a bit. Formula is so much better than her being hungry and you are doing a great job. It is so hard to start - and it is still hard for us but it does get better.You are both learning so have faith that it will get better.
Make sure that your pump isn't turned up too high - in fact, turn it down a bit if you can. I actually get more milk at lower settings and it gives your girls a little break. Big hugs coming at you!
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It is ok, take a deep breath and hang in there. It does get easier and better. Somtimes it just takes a while for Momma and baby to get the latch and BF figured out. And don't feel bad about giving her formula. Formula is not poisin and it is better to give her something. Keep trying you will both get it soon.
I had some of the same feelings early on and it got so much better after baby and I figured out what worked.
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
You didn't fail - you provided for your daughter. You gave her care and love, and you fed her.
Hormones really suck, and super amplify everything.
Breastfeeding takes a while. Even 2 months at times for everything to fall into place. Try nursing her when she isn't searching for food, so she isn't frantic and frustrated as well - its new to maddy too. Pumping, I think, adds even more stress, and I am a bit bummed that LC's recommend it so soon. Set yourself up in a good chair, with good back support, or tons of pillows on the bed, rest your feet on a stool, turn on some nice music (Cristofori's Dream is excellent - have hubby youtube it), a glass of nice cold water and just hold your baby. Try to nurse, but mostly just take a few minutes to relax with her.
No matter how you feed your little girl, your body still nutured her and grew her into this amazing little being for the last 9 months - your body succeeded!
You are not a failure in any way shape or form. Formula isn't poison. You just did what any mom would do...feed her child! It was just one night. You'll pump and get more milk. Keep seeing the lc and find a latch that works for you guys. The first few weeks are soooo hard! I remember feeling so overwhelmed the first few weeks. In a month or two, you'll look back and think gosh we are doing so great now! Keep nursing her first though so you keep up your supply, and then supplement with formula/bm, whatever she needs.
Gavin was having terrible time latching the first few days and I had to give him a little formula just so he'd get some food into him. Sure, it was disappointing, but he needed some food to relieve the jaundice. It WILL get better!
Oh Heather, I wish I could just come and give you a big hug right now. I could have written this post myself a year ago (in fact I think I might have). I had the same problems ? sleepy, jaundiced baby who wouldn?t/couldn?t latch on properly, freaking out because I read too many books on breastfeed that said everyone can breastfeed and if you can?t then you just aren?t trying hard enough (rubbish) and a fear that if I gave her formula I was a failure and that I was poisoning her somehow. I bawled my eyes out when I broke down and gave Syd formula our second night home, I couldn?t even be in the same room.
If you really want to keep breastfeeding keep at it, it really hard and anyone who tells you it?s not is lucky or lying. I can tell you it is totally worth it once you get it figured out. Remember though, formula isn?t poison and you ARE NOT a bad mom for giving it to her ? you need to be a happy, healthy mom for her and she needs to eat.
You have a beautiful daughter and nothing but joy ahead of you. Breastfeeding is such a small thing in the grand scheme of it all don?t let it get to you.
look at me figuring out pumping and nesting....
you gals are right that its not poison....the litrature they give you makes you want to bf sooo bad and get afraid of walking down the formula road.
ive got a call into the lc and see her again tomorrow...
this too shall pass
Oh Heather. I think everyone has said it all but I wanted to be one more voice to say you are not a failure. In fact, you have proven yourself to be a great Mom by making that decision. You identified what your child needed and provided it. In my mind, had you not done that you would have been failing her. Please don't look at it like that. If it's important to you to BF then don't give up, but give yourself a little credit and compassion. It isn't easy and supplementing doesn't make you a failure.
I hope you feel the love and support here. It is so hard right now, but you will get through it and you are a GREAT Mom. Now it's just all about perseverance ;0)
First of all...(((HUGS)))
BF is hard work. It takes a few weeks to get it down and can also take some time for your supply to level out. My personal feeling is that you have to do whats best for both YOU and your family. Try not to beat yourself up about it. If you have to F feed then thats ok. Like PP said its still nourishment for your little girl.
Exactly this. I know breastfeeding is supposed to be this magical intuitive thing ala The Blue Lagoon.
Latching is tough. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't come to you right away. It sounds like you are doing a good thing by keeping both you and Maddy healthy while you keep working on it. It took me about a week for baby and me to figure it out (I needed nipple shields while by BB's healed).
Also, I know Connor nursed and nursed those first few days and I thought I wasn't making enough milk. He was stimulating my milk supply. So exhausting.