random: spanking

CalinsBride

Yay or nay?

I am in the no camp because I think that discipline should teach children how to monitor their own behaviour, rather than punish them. I think spanking shows a lack of creativity and willingness to come up with a way of discipline that fits each individual crime. Also, I have seen it get way, way out of hand and I think its better to refrain altogether than lose your temper and take it too far.

Anyone else?

lailak42

We do it sparingly with DS.  It works way better than any other punishment we've given, but I just hate to do it.  Breaks my heart every time.

schmoodle

Hehe, when I saw the title I thought this was going to be about sexy times, not kids.

alli&pat

i do not believe in spanking either.  i was not spanked a child...dh was...but we talked about and he understands my reasoning.  we will not spank our child. 

Sequoyah Shoars

not with small children, no. but i certainly got my butt spanked when i was a little older (like 7 or 8 i think) because thats the only thing that would really get my attention. i think it has to do with the child. so we will see how things go, hopefully my little one listens better than i did.

ShanLeAnn

we won't be spanking. I agree with you. I don't understand the use of physical violence to discipline children. Especially if you're going to turn around and tell them not to hit...

manda_mullins

I'm against it personally. I don't think teaching my child to get his point across or teach a lesson with violence is a very good example. I think it's kind of a lazy solution to discipline. I'd rather teach my kids what they are doing is wrong and why, not just beat them.

 

My MIL made a point of telling me that she's okay with spanking other people's kids. I'm okay with calling the cops if she touches my child! Guess we will have a come to Jesus talk at some point.

 

 

CalinsBride

schmoodle:

Hehe, when I saw the title I thought this was going to be about sexy times, not kids.

Haha! That's too funny! If you only knew how  LONG its been since I've even felt the tiniest urge to do anything of that nature. . . .

Mrs_mam

I'm not against a butt smack, or the threat of one. I recall the fear of getting smacked to be much worse than the actual spanking. And I don't recall ever getting spanked or threatened with it, after age 4. Until I called my mom a
b*tch in highschool, then I got the face slap.

ruthymusney

I was spanked and so was DH.  I don't belive in spanking right away if you're upset I think you should always calm down before hand you should never spank just because you're upset.  It should be a teaching matter not an abuse matter.  We will spank our children if necessary not out of habit.  I know a lot of children who have never been spanked and their parents just get to the point where they don't discipline a all and they are not good children.  If you can discipline without spanking more power to you!

shihtzu51

I think it partly depends on the situation.  I think if it's a situation where they could hurt themselves, like running across the street or something where you need to get their attention right away then light spanking or a light slap on the hand is effective. I don't think you can "reason" with a 2-4 year old child quickly enough in those situations for them to know what they did was wrong.  I would not use it routinely but I do think it's appropriate in certain situations.  I think I'll be using "time outs" most of the time - then losing privledges when they are older, like watching tv or computer time, phone time, etc.

mrsbhk22

We've reserved spanking for situations that could be dangerous (i.e. running away from us in the driveway toward the street, etc), but not basic discipline problems like not listening or throwing toys.  Luckily, we haven't felt the need to spank DS yet, but are not opposed to it if he is older. 

My DS went through a smacking phase while my grandma was in town.  She told me to smack him back to make him stop.  I tried to pretend I didn't hear her, but she kept saying it over and over.  Finally I said "I don't understand how hitting a child will teach them not to hit."  For the first time in my life she agreed.  He got over that phase fairly quickly with other punishments (time outs, etc).

MrsGibson07

CalinsBride:

schmoodle:

Hehe, when I saw the title I thought this was going to be about sexy times, not kids.

Haha! That's too funny! If you only knew how  LONG its been since I've even felt the tiniest urge to do anything of that nature. . . .

 

Those were my first two thoughts also!  Haha.. glad I'm not the only one not feeling it.... lol 

FiremansWife2009baby

No. There are other ways to get across to a child that dont involve spanking or hitting. I was never spanked, but I knew my boundaries and not to cross them!

ziggy=lee

I was spanked as a child and I turned out just fine.  I think a swat on the butt here and there isn't going to traumatize a child if they know the reason for why they are being punished.  Time outs and other forms of punishment aren't always the answer.

AlwysAwsm

I'm not for or against. I always got "heat" when I was younger which was a slap at the top of the leg rather than the butt where the diaper was. I turned out to be a good kid and rarely ever got heat (it was hot/kinda stung).

My mom was telling me that when she was young my pop used to make her get him the belt... which I could imagine could be a little worse then actually getting hit.

I'll prolly do the same: make my child get the punishment devise but never use it.

shanp1228

Just wanted to know out of everyone that is against spanking how many of you don't have kids yet? I though I would be a non spanker, before I had 2 boys. Let me just say "wow" sometimes there is no other way....... I am also a time out user which works most of the time. When the going gets tough though a spank saves the day, and often my sons will hug and kiss me soon after because they know I mean business. Now beating your child is wrong, and I would never do that, that is when people loose controll. One little spank on the butt never hurt anyone.

Dulaney

I don't really know to be honest. Both dh and I were spanked as children, but not exessively. I would like to think I wouldn't, but honestly, until I am a parent in that situation I don't really know how I would handle it.

JasonsMauiMama

We don't spank, but agree to use it in life-threatening situations. There's a good book on behavior modification - I forget the name, but it's something about "Raising the Defiant Child." A negative title, IMHO, that gives some great advice.

SIL and BIL have been spanking their DD since she was two. MIL spanks her as well. I'm fairly disgusted that a grandmother would spank her grandchild.

grinsandgiggles

I was spanked as child.  It didn't work, it just made me mad at her and I resented her for it.  I still did what I wanted to do because I wanted to make her mad in return for hurting me...yeah, I was a bad one at times.  Looking back, when she worked with me and talked with me, it had a much better effect. 

I will not be spanking, and DH agrees.  The key is to communicate and really pay attention to your child.  My mother never "talked" to me and I don't think she understood me.

jenn_a_bee

I say never say never. Both DH and I were spanked as children. My parents only did it as a last resort ~ and looking back at the times I remember I would have hit me too...we have talked about it and we don't want to, but every situation is different and we will try other methods first, but we have talked a lot about and have decided to take it a situation by situation bases, but I agree if we can communicate about it and turn it into a 'teachable' moment first then we will...

grey99

I would never spank my child.  I was never spanked and I was still well behaved.  I think there are better ways to teach your children than by abusing them.