Would this bugg you ?

iheartstuart

Ok, so I want to know if I'm right to be irritated about this or if I need to relax a bit on a few things...

1. ?Every time (and I do mean EVERY) time Mia is with in-laws they have a photo fest with her. ?It wouldn't bother me if it were like a few pics here and there but literally it's 20ish pics per camera (at each family event where FIL/MIL, both SIL's, GMIL, Aunt/Uncle) and poor Mia gets passed back and forth between people constantly. ?I've started limiting it when I am there but the times i'm not there I see hundreds of pictures and you can tell Mia is not happy but they are more concerned with getting a pic with her then anything. ?Maybe I just hate them and it irritates me but I just think it's lame when, for example, you are at a place of worship mourning the 1 year anniversary of a family member's passing and you spend an hour posing the baby with various members of the family in every possible position at the place of worship instead of focusing on the deceased person. ?That's just one example. ?Is it bad to set ground rules regarding how many pics are taken? ??

2. ?MIL was supposed to babysit on Thurs and I was running like 45 minutes late. ?When I got there MIL had 3 of her friends over who wanted to see/play with her. ?Apparently they were supposed to show up after I had left but because I was running late I saw them there, one of whom was sick. ?I know it's her house and she is doing me a favor but it feels like she uses babysitting time as showoff time for her friends and tries to do it in a way where I won't find out. ?I would think as the mother I would at least get the courtesy of her telling me who is coming over, because the purpose of their visit is to play and hold my baby. ?If this were an isolated event I wouldn't be as mad but it also happened yesterday night and the only reason we knew is we got done earlier and their guests were still over at their house when we got there. ?

Am I just being too controlling and need to take a chill pill or are these valid concerns?

I'm just at the point where I won't have IL's babysit ever because they do it for the purpose of showing her off and taking a million pics instead of spending time with her and making sure she is fed, changed and comfortable.?

FutureMrsLynch

I just dont like your MIL... not one bit.     I think your concerns are valid but trying to limit the number of pictures they can take, or the people they can have over when they are babysitting is just going to make them think that you are being difficult.    I vote not letting MIL babysit for a while, and maybe if you're out with them and they want to turn it into a photo session make up an excuse not to hand over baby.    I wouldn't want any of this either!

jen_and_tom

That would totally bug me.  I think we'd potentially have some of the same issues if we were closer to our parents.  I agree with pp and would limit the times that she's with the il's without your or your DH.  Our baby sitters need to respect our values as parents and family or not, they're not automatically qualified.

JRS72206

Yes, this would totally bug me. I also don't like your MIL!

My IL's will never be around DD without us. Neither DH or I are comfortable with it. Like PP said just be very limiting about the time they get with her. It's totally within your right to speak up if something is bothering you.

indigo91804

So, my mom was the one who took billions of pictures of Logan...had them plastered everywhere in her house. Here is my perspective...may not be one that masses on here agree with but here goes. My mom did it and showed Logan off whenever she could because she was so stinking excited to be a grandma. She did it out of love, major love. I mean the kind of love that only a mom or a grandma can have. My mom watches my kids every day and does little things that annoy the crap out of me but in looking at the big picture my kids are way better off having a loving nurturing relationship with their grandmother and memories that they can have with them for the rest of their lives. I may be their mom but the are part of a larger family that does not just include me and my husband. Grandmothers are not up on all the latest baby raising info and they haven't poured over all the books and websites we moms have. Sometimes they just need to be told stuff is not ok....like your friend who is sick should really not be around the baby.?

indigo91804

I have also found that my mom needed to be taught, for lack of a better term, our parenting styles and choice. It wasn't something that was just a given.

cwhip77

I agree a little with everyone.    No you're not being silly about those issues, I've had to say to my MIL during a pic taking fest, "Okay I think that's enough, we don't want to burn her corneas out".  Having a gazillion pictures taken of you is annoying (and irritating for your eyes) enough as it is, it can be really overwhelming for babies - sensory overload!

The friends over thing - having the sick friend over is one thing, I'd ask MIL not to knowingly expose the baby to people she knows are sick.  Having friends over in general though is probably just her being excited to be the grandma.  I think you have every right to ask that she run it by you ahead of time if other people are going to be there when you're not around.  I don't know all the details of your MIL, but maybe it will be better for awhile to have her time with the baby be in your home, so it's your turf and you can better control the environment.  And I agree with Indigo that you might have to spell out your rules and regulations for her - parenting was a LOT different in their time. 

MissBlush

That totally bothered me when Evie was that age. ?My ILs would do the same thing when we went over to their house. ?Fortunately, my DH has no trouble speaking his mind to them, and would not allow them to pass DD around. ?His aunt (for whom photography is a hobby) pouted like a five year old, but too many photos and too much handing around is NOT good for a baby that small.

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