miscarriage gift

aiMommy

A friend lost her baby after 6 moths' pregnancy, I'd like to send in a gift but don't know what would be appropriate. Any ideas? (if possible, any links you can direct me to?) Thanks!

ougrad1

I wouldn't send a gift.  She doesn't want any reminders of what happened.  I would just let her know that you're there if she needs you either with a hand written note or a phone call.

ougrad1

If you want some other opinions you could ask on the Success After Loss board.  They're very sweet over there.

LukeAndAmanda

If it's someone closeby, I would just make dinner. Anytime I want to do something nice for someone who's having a rough time, I cook dinner and take it over. The last thing they want to do is worry about cooking.

jodynjames2005

I don't think that there is a problem with sending a gift. It's not like she is going to forget that she lost a baby, or that she will need any reminders to remember it. I think a gift is a very nice gesture.

Perhaps flowers, or a gift card for a dinner out with her husband. Or, a girl online lost her twins and someone did this for her. You could have it done in the baby's name and then frame it and send it to her:

https://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/

iHeartJoe

Ditto L&A and Jody. My bff miscarried several months ago. I sent her flowers and just let her know I was there for whatever she needed. (She ended up asking me to come up and stay with her for a few days bc her DH had 24 military duty and she didn't want to be alone that long).

kirbabe

Oh no!  How sad!!  I was actually going to suggest flowers, cooking dinner, or a gift card out for dinner, but they were all already suggested.

ougrad1

jodynjames2005:

I don't think that there is a problem with sending a gift. It's not like she is going to forget that she lost a baby, or that she will need any reminders to remember it. I think a gift is a very nice gesture.

Perhaps flowers, or a gift card for a dinner out with her husband. Or, a girl online lost her twins and someone did this for her. You could have it done in the baby's name and then frame it and send it to her:

https://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/

That's actually a really sweet idea, Jody.

aiMommy

Thanks, ladies. Just copied my post to Success after a Loss board.

The friend is right now in another country. So I'll probably go with flowers.

kirbabe

jodynjames2005:

I don't think that there is a problem with sending a gift. It's not like she is going to forget that she lost a baby, or that she will need any reminders to remember it. I think a gift is a very nice gesture.

Perhaps flowers, or a gift card for a dinner out with her husband. Or, a girl online lost her twins and someone did this for her. You could have it done in the baby's name and then frame it and send it to her:

https://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/

 

Oh man, that gave me goosebumps.  Very sweet idea!

finallyamommy

FWIW, i would not send flowers.  I hated getting flowers after my mc.  I think of flowers as a happy thing and it just made me so upset to have these in my house at that time.  Plus, they die, which also upset me.

 The things that were helpful were dinner or a gc to a resturant that does carry out.   Having a tree planted or star named after our baby, just "Baby Russell" touched me a lot. 

also, the worst part was about a month later when everyone's lives had gone back to "normal"--people who emailed or called then I really appreciated.  

pawleygirl77

I lost a baby when I was 6 months along and I had some friends do a few nice thing that really meant a lot. One friend gave me this angel as well as a pretty box to store all of her things in (ultrasound pics, cards received, clothes that were already bought, etc), My mom gave me a necklace with her name and birthdate engraved on the back of an angel charm (in my blog post here). I wear it all the time now. And yet another friend gave me something with a butterfly on it and a note explaining how butterflies signify infant loss, which prompted me to plant a butterfly bush in my back yard.

but even just receiving a card in the mail made me feel better.... made me realize just how many people love us and were there for us! I'll keep your friend in my prayers.... that's a really tough thing to go through!

Heather R

I have 2 thoughts based on my own miscarriage experience:

1.  I was touched by flowers sent to me, unlike pp.

2.  One of the pains of a m/c is feeling like your baby is invisible to the world, that no one remembers or acknowledges the way they would if you'd lost a brother or grandparent or "outside child."  So something like a donation to a children's hospital or Make-a-Wish, etc. in the child's name is a way of making the baby real and concrete to the rest of the world.

Warm thoughts to your friend.

aiMommy

Thanks, ladies, for all the help and the good wishes!

ascbride

Posting late, but the same thing happened to a friend a few weeks ago. I have decided to make a donation to the March of Dimes and send the acknowledgment of the donation and a card to her home.

Marie Tourville

Flowers and food.  This gives her something pretty to focus on while she doesn't have to think about dinner.

 

If I had the money I would have gotten my bff one of these:

https://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5163554&section_id=5784102

 

She will remember forever, gift or not.  She carried that baby for 6 months.  I will say a prayer and think of her.

Marie Tourville

finallyamommy:

FWIW, i would not send flowers.  I hated getting flowers after my mc.  I think of flowers as a happy thing and it just made me so upset to have these in my house at that time.  Plus, they die, which also upset me.

 

My friend got flowers and loved them...but maybe it was different because it was a flowering plant.