DD#2 is 1,000,000 times harder than DD#1 :-(

true_norskie

From the start DD#2 was more difficult than #1...wouldn't let me put her down for weeks, wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me or in bed touching me, sleeps more erratically, cries more, is cranky, etc.

I know we had (have) the gold standard with #1, we KNOW she's a super easy, laid-back kid.  But I was totally unprepared for how difficult #2 could or would be.  I haven't slept more than 4 hours straight since probably before I got PG with her, but even 4 hours straight are the exception rather than the rule. 

I rarely sleep more than 2 hours at a time without her waking and needing me.  And we're not talking being awake for 5 minutes while she settles with the paci, we're talking sleep for 2 hours, up for 1 hour trying to figure out if she's hungry, uncomfortable, etc.

She's got her four month appointment in a couple weeks and I plan to talk to her doctor.  But something in my gut tells me that it isn't just her being a more difficult baby compared to the "gold standard" of her big sister.  There is something that nags me that says she's got an issue (reflux, food sensitivity?) that makes her cranky.

Today is definitely a down day for me.  I got four hours of broken sleep last night...and the night before...and the night before...and the night before...

I feel like a sh!tty mom to both of the girls.  I have no patience for either one and #1 broke my heart the other day when she broke out in sobs because I took #2 to nurse (and hold for the evening since she doesn't like to be put down) after I got home from work.  #1 wanted Mommy time and it broke my heart.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.  I could go on.  I just am having a tough day, feeling like a sh!tty mom and a sh!tty employee.  I feel like I should be able to do it all, and I can't bring myself to admit that I can't.  I'm exhausted and sad that I feel like my girls are suffering because of all of it.

Please tell me it'll get better (and LIE if you have to)!

stacynikki

Hugs!  It'll get better!  DS was a terrible sleeper and wanted to be held all the time.  He's that golden child now!  Then again it was much easier with just one!

G_Hoping

DS1 was colicy...I thought DS2 was easy..and he was like your DD2.  =(

It does all get better by about 6-7 months.

Definitly ask about GERD. 

JOEBunny

My DD is and was a more challenging child.  I am hoping this new one is like your first.  My rec is to get a good sling and a carrier, like the ergo or an eden carrier.  I still, even 8 months pregnant, carry DD on my back (she is 2.75) many places.  She is just happier that way. 

She has gotten better, but she will still sometimes cry for up to an hour at a time for no known reason several times a week.  I have gotten better at working with her too.  

There could be something wrong, and we tried that route with DD, reflux meds, test for all kinds of things (she is/was also unusually small), but in the end, she is just a high strung, determined child.  I don't think I will ever have to worry about peer pressure with this one!

rach&jay

Oh, I completely understand how you are feeling.  Riley was such an easy baby, is a pretty easy child, great sleeper, good eater, etc.  Sydney went from 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital at 12 days old, to colic for a few months, needed special formula, couldn't nurse so could only take a bottle, didn't sleep well, never enjoyed exersaucer, jumparoo, playmat - only wanted me to hold her.  At 9 months I cried to the pedi about her not sleeping, she was up about every 3 hours - begged for sleeping advice from anyone that would offer it.  Finally a few weeks ago started CIO, I truly exhausted everything else.  She now sleeps pretty well, last night, 11:30 - 6 and that is about every other night, sometimes goes from 7:30 - 3, quick bottle, then back to sleep until 6 or 7.  Now we're dealing with a finicky eater, and she isn't gaining weight, but she still doesn't want me to put her down while she is awake.

Yes, it will get better.  If you are in the CIO camp, and sleep doesn't get better, my advice is to not wait until 12 months.  People will understand the issues that come with lack of sleep.  Find whatever few moments you have to devote to DD #1, it will help both of you.  Do you have help at night?

bugmommy

Yeah, DS#1 was like that.  #2 was a little better, but still had reflux and didn't sleep through the night until 6+ months.  I really feel for you, but it has gotten better.  Both are actually really good sleepers now, if that helps.  I did have to do sleep training with both of them.  If you have any reason to believe it might be reflux I would get the first available appt. with the dr.  If that is the problem it takes a couple of weeks for the medication to start working and its sometimes takes a couple of tries to get the right one and the dosage right.  No sense suffering any longer than necessary if there is an easy fix!

MarchMom06

Big hugs. DS#2 was a lot more challenging than DS#1, & is still to this day, a horrible sleeper. (He's almost 2). Mine were also 13 months apart, & I know that my patience was absolutely shot with the colic, and the crying, and the needing to be held. DS#2 is still a much more challenging child, but it does get easier. Really.

ETA - my last "really" sounded bitchy. I meant, it really does get easier, not like, "really", I can't believe she's upset about this. Hope that makes sense. I totally feel your pain.