I've been really fortunate to connect with people who are using my agency, by coincidence, through online forums - some have recently completed an adoption while some are still listed on our agency's site as a waiting family but are currently matched (just no placement yet).
So it is nice to get 'independent' feedback about how their process has been with our agency and the experiences they have had. We are in the program for a enwborn with african american ancestry. The matches/placements are generally quick. The number of waiting families is, sadly, low. Re-match time, in the event of a failure, is generally quick. 'At risk' fees are generally low depending on the state that the BM is from.
What we have discovered is that 'usually' when a match fails the re-match is very quickly. I've talked with a couple of families that are generally happy with our agency, would adopt with them a second time, but the reality of failed matches has happened to almost all of them.
In one particular case (all of which happened over the course of three months from their 'active' date), the family was matched to only find out that the BM was signed with multiple agencies and that she and her sister had done this with prior pregnancies (never ending up in adoption but getting living expenses and medical paid for up until the point that they were 'found out'). After the agency discovered the BM was signed with other agencies they terminated the match. The same family was matched a second time (within a few weeks) - they became close to this BM - went to DR. appointments - and then found out that she was signed with like 9 agencies. Obviously this match was terminated as well. Their third match resulted in their beautiful baby boy and a good relationship with the BM.
There have been other cases of failed matches as well but those generally were unsuccessful because the BM made the decision to parent - which we respect.
Obviously with the 80/20 rule of success vs. failed matches - this is not common but not uncommon. In general, we respect BM for the decision they are considering and realize that if we are distrusting from the get-go then we run the risk of the match failing because we might make her uncomfortable.
So after my long story ... my question is this: for those who have adopted domestically or are adopting domestically: have you had a failed match and was it because of the BM exploiting the adoption process? How do you or did you guard yourself from this emotionally and financially? Does your agency perform a search with other agencies to ensure that your BM is not signed with multiple agencies? If so, do they do this before or after they have matched you?