WWYD in this situation

HisBetterHalf

DHs grandmother passed away over the weekend.  The services are being held on Tues and Weds.  DH left today to spend time with is mother and help her with planning.  ILs live 1 hr 45 mins away (Grammie lived with them).  The services will be in their town.

I do not plan to take DD with me to any of the services but I need to be there for everything to support DH who is very distraught over it all (it was sudden). The wake will be on Tuesday from 5-7 which isn't a big deal because I can drop DD off at my mom's house (on the way and only 15 mins from me) at 2:30 when she gets out of work.

My dilemma is what to do for the rest.  Do I stay the night at ILs with DH and leave DD with my mother?  If so, my mom would have to take an unpaid sick day from work to stay with DD.  I'm pretty sure this would be a non issue but have not asked my mom yet.  

Do I drive back and pick DD up from my moms on Tues night (late) and bring her home to sleep and then try to find someone to watch her on Weds so I can drive back for the 11am services?  I'd have to leave at 9am and wouldn't be back until 4ish.

Problem is I don't know who else I could get to watch her.  Its pretty short notice and all of my close family members work full time.

joseysbride

Is there a reason you don't want to take her?  When my grandfather passed away, we took Rory (she was just a few months over 1).  My dh was there to take her out of the funeral and stuff if needed, but she did fine, and it was really refreshing to have all the kids at the family events.  I guess that is what I would do, but maybe you have a good reason not to take her.

I'm really sorry.  I know how hard it is, and your dh and his family is in my prayers.

jessicaclare

If you don't think your mom would mind, maybe ask her? Its really sort of an emergency. I'd offer to compensate her for the day she missed from work, though.

wellfleet04

I'd leave her at your mom's house and maybe offer to help compensate her for missing work (my mom would never take $$ from us, but would love lunch out another time, or something else like that).

I'm sorry for your DH's loss.

HisBetterHalf

I don't want to bring DD because she'd be the only child there and I feel like it would be a lot to "ask of her" to be a good girl for a 2 hour wake and then a wake and a funeral and burial the next day.  Not to mention everyone is going to be A MESS crying and stuff.  I really need to be able to support my DH who was very close with his grandmother and even though DD is a good kid, she will be a distraction.

Lea LaJeunesse-Askren

I wish you knew me I would watch her for you. I'm sorry for your families loss.

rebs

Do you have any friends who are SAHM that would take her for the day?  Maybe then your mom could drop her off there.

Otherwise my first choice would be to ask your mom if you don't think she would mind, but make sure to do something nice in the near future to let her know how much you appreciated it (like a gc to her favorite restaurant).

I'm very sorry for your loss.

reynah

That's a tough situation but I would probably just ask my mom to keep her and take the unpaid sick time. If she is willing to do it then I would take her up on it and maybe get her a massage gift certificate or something like that.

JOEBunny

My grandmother died when DD was 8 months old, all of her great grandkids came to services, 6 of them were under 3.  My MIL died when DD was 18 months, DD went to the services.  I just went to the cry room with her and could hear everything, but people offered to watch her at the church for me, if needed.