First Time Mom

knottie89e170359c7d13c9

Hello! I’m 33 and this will be my first baby. I am so nervous and excited but also a tiny bit stressed. My twin sister did the complete traditional married for 9 years and then had a baby. They struggled because my brother in law had cancer and my niece truly is a miracle. And now I’m having one. I feel a bit of imposter syndrome but also a bit like I cannot celebrate because it feels that it takes away from them. Our lives have revolved around them and their family even before the baby was born. I feel kinda second place. I don’t think it helps that I’m due about two weeks before her baby was born. Any advice on first time nerves or following the first grandchild?

knottie7a0e857e977ebe23

Hi! A very big congratulations!! I am a first-time mom too, I’m in my 20s and my husband and I got married just a few months ago. I’m sorry to say that I don’t share a similar experience (I can relate in the nerves though) but I can assure you of this own miracle of yours! And hooray for their miracle! Baby is coming whether people like it or not haha! I’m sure your family loves you so much and it’s beautiful how you’ve supported them in their easy and hard times. I grew up as an only child for 13 years before my half brother came along. I’ve only heard about the emotional experience of sibling life from my friends and so hopefully someone can offer a more comforting perspective. I can state the truth about your significance, your value, your goodness, which are all wonderful but I know just a little understanding can go very far. My husband is a really great communicator, I’ve been rescued from simmering in my own anxieties so often by being invited to say something or just opening up in the moment. I think it could be well worth it to talk with your sister about how you feel. Also, I’m 7 weeks post early August wedding so no 9 years here! Everyone’s life is so different, embrace your journey. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, it is an honor to be writing to you. All the best and love, Olivia :)

Caveman synopsis:
Baby baby so sweet
Nerves yes, concerns many
Your life special and good
Birth order, blow raspberry
We love family, talk

cscrzldbg

Congratulations mama.🎉 Remember, every baby is special and valued in their own right. Your child is not taking away anything from another child or another person. They are their own being.

I cannot speak to coming after a first grandchild as my son is the first for both families. But I will tell you this, I begrudge no one the birth of their child. If found what was special to my son, focused on that, and I chose not to compare or think that he lost something by the birth of his cousins.

You cannot take the blame for the actions and options of others. Especially from the people you love. My younger brother is expecting his first in May. I fully anticipate drama coming from his wife when I eventually announce. No matter what I do, I will probably do it wrong or she will find something to bitch about. So, I don't plan to try. And I plan to let go what they think and feel. Sadly, for some people, you have to be the bigger person and hold your tongue. 🤷‍♀️