Is there any hope???

hjc017

Hi all, my name is Holly. I am 37 years old, I have a very healthy 11 year old son.
So in the years between, my husband and I were not exactly trying to get pregnant again - but not really doing anything to try and prevent it..ha.. but we were basically like if it happens, it happens. Well finally, after being off the pill for about 5-6 years, we found out I was pregnant back in Dec 2024. We were absolutely ecstatic! After years of "trying". So things were going fine, or so we thought. Because I did not have health insurance at first I hadn't gone to the Drs right away, so I did end up going sort of late. My first appt i think I was about 12 wks or so. Things seemed to be looking fine. Well at my next appt (which I thought was about 18wks) they did all the blood tests. Then the obgyn asked if I wanted to listen to the heartbeat, to which I absolutely said YES. Well, she put the doppler on and couldn't really hear much and tried not to really worry me that maybe the baby was just "hiding", so they ordered me a STAT US. I get to the clinic, then received the most devastating news...The US tech said "I'm so sorry, there's nothing in there." It was just an empty gestational sac. To which I had a blighted ovum. I was completely beside myself and thought I was crazy. I had never really heard that term before, so it was a new concept to me. They told me that basically the embryo either doesn't develop, or just stops developing and the rest of your body has no idea because the placenta still gives off the hCG...and basically had a missed miscarriage. They assured me that this was a random event, and there was nothing done to prevent it. They prescribed me misoprostol to help pass the tissue. Which did not help -except give me THE worst cramps of my life. So then scheduled to have a D&C done.
After everything was done I just felt so so empty - physically, emotionally & mentally. My friends and family were super supportive throughout the whole time.
Now fast forward a year later, I was supposed to get my period the end of July...well I didn't. And it each week came and gone. No period yet. I took (3!) pregnancy tests and each one - VERY positive! Again, we were very ecstatic. And also very anxious. We figured I was about ~5wks or so. Went to the Drs, and everything seemed to be progressing just fine. Had all the common pregnancy symptoms (and felt differently than I did the previous time) so I thought was a good sign! Went to my first US, (about 9wks) very nervous, anxious, all the feelings! I held my breath until finally there was a little baby in there! And they actually measured me @ 11wks+2 days! I couldn't believe it! We were so so relieved! I walked out of there and couldn't wait to tell our families!
Well, a week later, (Wednesday) another clinic had called me because they were referred by the other clinic. I called them back (perplexed, as to WHY) they explained that on the scan it looked as though the baby might've had a slight hernia or omphalocele, and said not to worry about it too much. So next day, my husband & I get to the clinic. They do the "more comprehensive" US. US tech didn't really say much of concern..then when they were done, said we were meeting with a Dr and genetic counselor - which when you are "Advanced Maternal Age" it's really not out of the norm. So we weren't exactly worried - yet. They came in and asked us if we knew why we were here. We mentioned about the possible hernia/omphalocele. Their faces were very serious and said they weren't really concerned with that, but issues far more serious. Fetal abnormalities associated with Trisomy 13.... They started listing off findings that they saw from that US I just had there. Such as Hypotelorism -the distance between the eyes, possible proboscis, holoprosencephaly- where the brain fused together instead of left brain/right brain, absent nasal bridge, & possible left cleft palate. Again, was told that it is basically just a RARE random event and this just happens. We could have genetic testing should we want to try again in the future..
Then they started to explain that babies afflicted with this (even if they do survive to birth) are either stillborn or don't even make it past their 1st birthday. And immediately put on HOSPICE care. We were absolutely devastated and just numb. We couldn't really process what they had just told us. But basically told us we should end the pregnancy because the baby really had no chance of survival, and the further I'd get into the pregnancy, it would increase the risk of my health as well.
So the next couple days after we could process what we had been told, we decided for me to have a D&E (because at that point I would be 13 weeks) So my surgery was scheduled in the next few days.
Now here I am (2 days after surgery) and I have no idea where to even go from here. I feel like I am in a race against time because of my age?! I know that chromosomal abnormalities increase with age, but I hate hearing that. I am losing hope...
Anyone have any success/positive stories out there? Especially anyone around my age???
Sorry for the long post...just need some hope right now!😢🥺💔