Baptism conflict

lalakis

Hello everyone,

I would like to share a situation that has been weighing heavily on me, in the hope of receiving your kind and thoughtful advice.

I’m married to a Greek man, and although I am Protestant, I was the one who suggested that our son be baptized in the Orthodox Church. My husband wasn’t initially attached to the idea and preferred that we hold the ceremony according to my tradition. But I have a deep love for Greece, and I wanted to honor his culture and his parents even though they don’t really accept me. That doesn’t bother me; I continue to love them regardless.

We chose as godmother (Nona) a childhood friend who is very close to my husband. She proposed that her husband (Nonos) also be the godfather, as they have been unable to have children despite their strong desire. Honestly, I have never felt comfortable around Nonos. During my pregnancy, which was difficult in the beginning, we announced the news to this couple, and that day they drove us home. Nonos was driving at an excessive speed (over 120 km/h), which put us in danger. My husband and I were shocked, and even though we thanked God for arriving safely, that moment left a mark. It felt like he was acting out of frustration, maybe even jealousy.

Today, tensions continue around the baptism. I had agreed that Nona could take care of our son’s outfit, but with one clear condition: that she show me the design first, because I also want my son to wear something I like. To my surprise, she bypassed me and asked my husband directly for the child’s measurements without consulting me. She also added Nonos’s parents to the guest list without telling me four extra people in total.

When I asked my husband what was going on, he showed me the outfit they had chosen. I don’t like it. And apparently, Nona doesn’t want me to have a say. This hurts. I feel like she’s trying to impose her choices as if it were her own child. So I sent her a very polite message to remind her that I was the one who chose to have our son baptized in her tradition, and that as a multicultural couple, respect has to go both ways.

But she keeps acting as if she has full control, and I feel like my husband doesn’t understand my point of view. I feel erased and overstepped in my role as a mother and a wife.

I’m writing to ask if any of you have experienced a similar situation with an overbearing or intrusive Nona. How did you handle it? Is it wrong to want to set boundaries, even within a tradition you deeply respect?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your advice.