TTGP w/o March 24

aisleofviewtwo

**The questions posted here will be pretty generic, so feel free to add other questions/info that are pertinent or delete what isn't. Please err on the side of caution and use trigger warnings/spoilers for topics that may be sensitive for other users.**     

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.):

WTO/TWW:

Timing/Testing/CS:

How are things going? Any questions?:

R/R:

peppyj9

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.): BD

WTO/TWW: WTO

Timing/Testing/CS: currently hanging with aunt Flo

How are things going? Any questions?: hi again! I'm sorry for my absence. I sort of Benched myself and took a mental health break from TTC. **TW**
After hosting a 2nd baby shower in January (hosted one over Christmas) because my 2 closest friends both just had their 3rd babies, I was feeling pretty down. Then a couple weeks later our other close friend announced her pregnancy at her son"s 2nd bday party with a "big brother" shirt. And while I was happy for her too, it just felt like "are you kidding me?? Literally all my friends around me are getting pregnant with their 2nd and 3rd babies and I'm over here like the last Mohican" 😭 and they all know I've been trying so there's sort of this underlying "poor you" energy, though that could just be my own perception. Anyway, I just needed to give myself and my husband a break and step away from TTC for a bit. But now I'm ready to start again this cycle feeling renewed.  I'm sorry for all I've missed over the past couple months but I hope you're all doing well!

R/R: see above

emeraldcity603

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.): BD

WTO/TWW: WTO

Timing/Testing/CS: 

How are things going? Any questions?: My period just won’t end. I thought it was over and I nearly took my flex cup out. I’m glad I kept it in because it just keeps coming. 

R/R: the snow is melting again and our temps are getting warmer. Dare I say spring has arrived for real? I need to break out our mud gear and put away the snow gear. One the sun is out even 15 degrees feels warm. 

@peppyj9 I’m sorry you have been bombarded with pregnancy announcements. That can be very hard to deal with emotionally. I’m sure your friends are aware that this is emotionally hard for you and they may be unsure how you need/want them to be around you. Which may be what you’re perceiving as pity. Either way, it’s hard. Im glad you feel renewed and are ready to try again. You have been missed! ☺️

aloha_mama

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.): BD

WTO/TWW: WTO, CD7

Timing/Testing/CS: Started daily OPKs on CD5, trying to get a better picture of what’s going on. 

How are things going? Any questions?: Things are going ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

R/R: My in-laws have asked to have my 9yo stay with them for a week in the summer and we have yet to respond. I’m not wild about the idea but we have an okay relationship so I don’t want to burn bridges. 

@peppyj9 It sounds like you made the decision you needed to make in order to take care of yourself. I wasn’t here before but I’m glad you’re back ❤️

aisleofviewtwo

@peppyj9 Welcome back! It's good to see you I'm glad you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. I had a similar wave of announcements from close friends/family a few months back, I know how crushing and inescapable it can feel. I also struggle with receiving pity from others, though I understand it's well-intentioned and I don't have an alternative approach to suggest to them. In my experience, when it comes to TTC it's almost impossible to say the right thing even when you want to.

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.): FET

WTO/TWW: N/A, Lupron down regulation

 

Timing/Testing/CS: N/A

How are things going? Any questions?: Started oral estrogen 3x/day every day last Friday 3/21, and so far it's been fine but just a constant cycle of chills, fatigue, hunger, thirst between each pill. Nice to have the confirmation the hormones are getting absorbed, not so nice dealing with side effects. I go back this Friday 3/28 to check serum estradiol levels and lining thickness. Will spend the week thinking thick thoughts!

R/R: After having no real social calendar to speak of for the past few months, suddenly we've been asked to commit to tentative plans basically every weekend in May. I want to see people and get out and do things, but I also keep catching myself doing the mental math of if this cycle works, how far along will I be then? If this cycle doesn't work, will we want to do an April/May retrieval? Like most things TTC it goes in waves, but today I'm so tired of the uncertainty and the inability to make long-term plans.

emeraldcity603

@aisleofviewtwo I have a backpacking trip I’m supposed to do this summer. Along with several other camping trips. I won’t be able to do the backpacking trip if I end up pregnant. I’ll cancel last minute though because whether I go or not the plans stay the same. All that to say, I get the wishy washiness you feel when trying to make plans in the future. 

britters314

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.): Matching phase for embryo adoption

WTO/TWW: TWW

Timing/Testing/CS:

How are things going? Any questions?: We decided to accept our match, so now waiting to see if the clinic will accept them! I also have a visit with my doctor today to go over what she wants me to do before the next transfer

R/R: I went to Home Depot yesterday to get a bunch of stuff for work that needs to be done in the backyard, but trying to time when I’m going to do it is tricky because for most of it I will need several dry days in a row and we are supposed to get a lot of rain soon

aisleofviewtwo

@britters314 FX for a quick acceptance from the clinic! What's the backyard project? We need to do grading and are really hoping to get planters built for the season, but are similarly battling the forecast (in our case crazy wind).

emeraldcity603

@britters314 Hopefully the next phase goes smoothly. 

fifilala516

@britters314 hope the next steps go smoothly!

@aisleofviewtwo Yeah, I hear you. This is a really busy time of year for us - and I'm also in a wedding this weekend across the country - so I was a little relieved, I guess is the word - to know that I could have a drink, etc. I'm in another wedding in February and am thinking similarly about if I'll be pregnant/how far along I'll be. The mental gymnastics are so taxing.

WAYDTGKU (BD/TI/IVF/FET/Benched/etc.): BD

WTO/TWW: WTO

Timing/Testing/CS:

How are things going? Any questions?: Has anyone had their LH and FSH tested? I'm thinking my numbers are really low and they flatline basically in every Inito test.

R/R: I have the aforementioned wedding this weekend. Looking forward to having a weekend away with my husband, seeing friends I don't normally get to see, etc. Not looking forward to the 8+ hours of travel each way. Also not really looking forward to the typical bridesmaid duties lol.

britters314

@aisleofviewtwo I have a few small projects (staining the back stairs, sanding and repainting a small bench, and installing rain chains) but the big thing I’m doing is digging out a space to put in a pea gravel patio where we’ll put a fire pit and then I also need to plant a bunch of flowers or shrubs all around the rest of the backyard but I’ll probably be waiting until May for the planting.

peppyj9

@emeraldcity603 thank you ❤️ I'm also happy Spring seems to be arriving though we're not out of rainy season just yet. In WA the rain goes on forever. Speaking of which, are you concerned about your long period? Has it ever happened before?

@aloha_mama thank you ❤️ why are you hesitant to let your 9yr old stay with your in laws? Are they out of state? I would not want to send my son out of state. But I remember spending summers at my grandparents, usually with a couple other cousins in tow, and those are some of my best memories. Of course they lived in the same city so I wasn't too far away. I feel fortunate I was able to have that time with my grandparents. I wish my son could have a similar experience but everyone is in a different state and his grandparents are older and would definitely not take him for a summer 😅

@aisleofviewtwo thank you ❤️ I definitely don't deal well with feeling like I'm being pitied, but I know they just care about me. It's hard to navigate knowing the right thing to say, even I don't know. And the bombardment of pregnancy announcements I chalk up to the fact that myself and friend group are all just in that phase of life of growing our families, so it makes sense, it just sucks. Anyway, it sounds like the hormones are doing their thing so that's good but too bad about the side effects 🫤 I understand your hesitation about making plans but plans change and plans can be canceled. I vote you make the plans and if you conceive or need to do treatments and have to change plans, people will understand. Just maybe see if you can get any deposits back if some of those plans require upfront payments.

@britters314 how exciting you found a match! Hope the clinic accepts soon 🙏🏻 your backyard projects sound exciting. A lot of work, but will be so nice to have your little oasis when it's done.

@fifilala516 travel is never fun but it will be worth it! Weddings are almost always a good time and I'm sure you and your husband will enjoy yourselves! 

britters314

Update: I had an appointment with my doctor today and, though they haven’t gotten the paperwork yet for the new match, she said from what I told her she probably wouldn’t recommend we accept these either. Feeling a bit discouraged that we’ve had two matches now that aren’t working out. I’m wondering if we should take a break from matching and see if we want to keep trying with this or do something different. My doctor is having us redo all our bloodwork and stuff, so maybe I’ll ask if they can do an SA for H and see if our chances would be good for doing an IUI

aloha_mama

@peppyj9 Let’s just say my in-laws do not share the same beliefs or way of life as me and DH do 😬 We have gotten a lot of passive aggressiveness from them over the years for our parenting choices. We aren’t aligned politically and my FIL regularly watches things on TV that I don’t want my kids seeing. They also aren’t very receptive to behaving differently when my children are around. It’s not a great relationship but I do know they care about my 9yo and wouldn’t deliberately do anything to harm her… And yes, they’re out of state, although it is drivable for us to go get her if we need to. 

emeraldcity603

@peppyj9 No, I have been known to bleed for a solid 7 days. It finally stopped today. I usually have 2 super heavy days, 2 medium to light days, and then I trickle to the end and it just feels like it won’t end sometimes. Since I started using the flex cup my period seems more manageable. It took a few cycles to get the hang of those things. I have never been successful with a regular cup but the flex cup is amazing. I love how it automatically empties when I go to the bathroom. 

@britters314 I’m sorry! That’s so frustrating. Have yall ever tried an IUI? 

britters314

@emeraldcity603 No we never tried an IUI. We went right to adoption when we got our unexplained infertility diagnosis years ago. We did consider IUI before starting on the embryo adoption process, but the success rates are so much lower than IVF and our insurance only covers so many cycles. Honestly looking back at those numbers now, we will probably decide to just stay the course and hope our next match is better.

emeraldcity603

@britters314 3rd times the charm! Hopefully that rings true for you and your embryo adoption. I guess the upside is that the clinic is being picky so that likelihood of it working is higher. 

aisleofviewtwo

@britters314 I'm sorry this second match isn't looking as promising as you'd hoped. Would it be possible to enact stricter search criteria with your matching agency that addresses your doctor's concerns? It might take longer to get the next match, but it seems it would then be more likely to be accepted by the clinic. Either way, I hope the weather gets its act together and your big (and exciting!) backyard plans can keep you occupied while you wait.

@peppyj9 I think you're totally right. The only thing worse than not being pregnant is also missing out on a bunch of plans you could be enjoying while not pregnant. Or, as my mom likes to say, better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

@fifilala516 I was the last person among my close friends and family to get married, and after being a bridesmaid half a dozen times I was so over the idea of putting people through that. We're all too old for the hullabaloo I did have a bridal party but tried really hard to make it clear that showing up at the chapel at the right time to support me is the mandatory item, literally everything else is optional. (Have fun!)

britters314

@aisleofviewtwo Yes, we can give some criteria to the agency. After all, they don’t want to match us to any placing families knowing the clinic will say no. So I’m going to email them today and say my doctor recommended saying no for X, Y, and Z reasons and hopefully we’ll get a better match next time 

peppyj9

@aloha_mama ah. Yes that's plenty of reason to be hesitant. That's a hard dynamic to navigate but so much easier to filter what your kids see and hear when you're there vs when you're not. How does your husband feel about it?

@emeraldcity603 I see, glad it's nothing super abnormal for you then! I've never been able to use a cup. I don't even like using tampons so I usual use pads 🫣 Maybe I'll try the flex cup!

@britters314 I'm sorry this match isn't working out. 3rd times the charm! Do you mind me asking why are clinic would deny an embryo? Does it have to do with liklihood of sticking or something else? Just curious how the process works.

@aisleofviewtwo your mom is a wise woman!

britters314

@peppyj9 My clinic has been saying no because of family medical history of the placing family, specifically siblings of the embryos. They weren’t worried about the transfers not working, but were more worried about us having a baby with medical issues. My doctor did say we could move forward but she would want us to meet with a specialist to discuss things first. We figured if it was that serious it wouldn’t be the best match for us anyway

peppyj9

@britters314 oh, I see. That makes sense. I'm assuming there's only so much they can test an embryo for before transfer. How stressful. But yes, better to know if it might not be the best match and try for a better fit. 

britters314

@peppyj9 Yeah most people don’t do genetic testing on the embryos and it has to be done before they are frozen, so we can’t do any. Plus even if we could, we’d be kinda screwed if they all tested positive for some condition. Definitely better to just go for a different match

emeraldcity603

@peppyj9 I highly recommend the flex cup. I can’t feel it and it makes my period so much more bearable. It definitely took a few cycles to get the hang of it. It was a bloody mess the first 2 cycles. Funny story…last summer I was at a glacier lake and there was no toilets there. So I had to find a place in the woods. I was on my period and when I went to the bathroom my cup emptied. I told my friend I was worried about a bear coming to check it out. Well, I went back to the same spot an hour or so later because it was a good spot. There was bear scat and a bear had come by. There was also crushed gold crackers in the parking lot. 🤦🏻‍♀️ So lots to interest the bear. So I had to find another spot. We were packing up and when I was going to the bathroom behind a bush some critter flew out of the bush at me, I screamed, and then nearly fell over. My friend panicked because she was worried about a bear. It was a very eventful afternoon. Just another day in Alaska. 😂

peppyj9

@emeraldcity603 😂😂 omg! That sounds hilarious, but only because no one was harmed. I'd be scared about a bear coming for you too! 😅

emeraldcity603

@peppyj9 That little town is known for bears too. So I knew with the goldfish alone we would be attracting one. When I saw the bear scat I panicked and started making lots of noise and clapping. I had bear spray and after taking a shooting class I carry my pistol at all times. We were taking turns going out on the lake too because we only had 1 adult kayak. So I was alone for about an hour, which was creepy. Some guy came and grabbed some glacier ice and I asked what he was going to do with it. He said use it in drinks. I told him he needed to research glacier worms before he did that. 🤢 it’s cool to drink and eat glacier ice until you get a parasitic infection. 

peppyj9

@emeraldcity603 yea, I'm not brave enough to want to go camping around bears only to be left alone while taking turns kayaking. I'll stick to hotels 😌 and wtf are glacier worms? I totally would be one to want to use it for ice if it was nearby. I never would have thought something frozen would have worms. And watch me about to go down a rabbit hole on parasites found on glaciers 🫠

emeraldcity603

@peppyj9 They are worms that live on the glacier ice. If you are around in the middle of the night you can see them surface. I have never seen one myself but we have discussed hiking to a nearby glacier and trying to find some. It’s crazy anything can survive on that kind of ice. I used to not be the camping type but I think it was more to do with the humidity and nasty wet heat from the south. I hike and camp all the time since moving to Alaska. Last year we had a bear go through our camping site and I was blissfully unaware inside my tent. I’m actually less scared of the bears and more scared of the moose. They trample people and their dogs often. Especially if they have a calf nearby. 

emeraldcity603

Well, I’m out this month. I’m going to stop the progesterone and wait for my period. Well, I posted this in the wrong thread. 🫠