Oh man that is a tricky situation! First off congrats on finding out your pregnant my first instinct is that he should know right away… it is his baby and if something happens he shouldn’t be blindsided with the bad news… however I totally understand not wanting him to slip so I don’t blame you for not wanting to tell him. I don’t know what I’d do and I’ll just be thankful my husband likes to keep everything very private.
If I did tell him I would stress a lot that he can’t tell and if something happens or people start treating you a certain way he has to be the one to have the conversations… not sure if that’s the best way to go about it but maybe it would make him rethink it?
allthemadmen Do you need it to be a secret? I mean, everyone is different. But having had multiple miscarriages, having people know and being able to fall back on their support was key to my survival. If it's not a big deal, then you should tell him. Honestly, IMO, having people find out early would be better than something happening and then having to inform your husband that not only were you PG and knew about it for weeks without telling him, but that you CHOSE not to tell him and now something is seriously wrong that he is in no way prepared for.
You chose this man, you knew his weaknesses, and you most likely knew you were trying for another baby. What was your plan regarding this? Does he know you've been trying?
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
allthemadmen It sounds like (making assumptions here) your family is not supportive of the amount of kids you have or your age or something. Sorry that sucks. But, if your husband and you can support the number of kids you have, then that is not anyone else's problem. I'd side with hubby here and just ignore the other peoples judgements or tell them to STFU.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
Re: N/A
my first instinct is that he should know right away… it is his baby and if something happens he shouldn’t be blindsided with the bad news… however I totally understand not wanting him to slip so I don’t blame you for not wanting to tell him. I don’t know what I’d do and I’ll just be thankful my husband likes to keep everything very private.
You chose this man, you knew his weaknesses, and you most likely knew you were trying for another baby. What was your plan regarding this? Does he know you've been trying?
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1