Husband keeps going out and I’m 8 months pregnant

knottiea67a51ce86726cf9

I don’t know how to feel.
My husband has been going out ALOT recently and we are expecting our first baby boy in the next 3 weeks. It really does cause me to be angry and upset with him because I of course do not want to treat him like a child and give him a curfew. But lately he goes out like 2-3 times a week with his friends. Those that I’m not too particularly fond of either because they always seem to cause him more trouble in my opinion.
Anyways, he goes out and doesn’t come back at the time he says he will be back. Sometimes he comes back home really drunk and it just adds to my worry of him drinking and driving. Or there have been a few times where he just doesn’t come at all! He passes out drunk at his friends or sisters house. Which just infuriates me even more. (We do share location so I don’t worry about him cheating or anything like that).
But still, it just makes me feel like he has no self control and just wants to make his friends happy instead of me. I just think to myself I would never do something like this to him. What he does makes me feel like he’s not a man of his word, I’m lonely and about to give birth, angry and resentful at him. When all I have asked him is to give me peace these last few weeks and feel that he is here with me since emotionally, its what I need. Every time it happens we argue, he says it won’t happen again, and then boom it happens again. It’s an endless rollercoaster and I’m tired of it.
Frankly I don’t need this additional stress in my life and I want to hold space for him because I know he’s feeling big things right now since he’ll be a dad soon. But what about me ?! Who takes care of me and what I need. Any advice would help :/

lizzzy217

4wks before my due date my husband and I went to a football game, and I was okay with my husband drinking more than usual, as kind of a final hurrah before the baby comes. The game was really exciting and our team ended up completely blowing out the other team, and my husband ended up getting a lot drunker than I think either of us was expecting, but I didn't think it was any big deal since I was still a month away from my due date.

Cue my water breaking at 2am

Credit to my husband that I was able to rouse him and he sobered up pretty effing quickly to be able to take me to the hospital, but I can honestly say that neither of us was expecting this and we both think things would've been waayyy easier had he been completely sober.

If I had to take a guess at your husband's thoughts, my guess would be that he's trying to enjoy the last days of "irresponsibility", getting to drink and hang out with his friends before the baby comes, since after the baby comes he will not be as free to do so. On the one hand, I definitely get his thoughts, since I think a lot people put a lot of stock in the due date (I definitely did) and he might genuinely think these are his last few weeks to get this kind of partying out of his system. On the other hand though, and I hate to say this so bluntly, but the time for partying has passed.
At 3wks to go, I would say you are definitely in the window of baby coming at any time. I can't imagine what you would do if your water broke at 2am a few weeks early like mine did, and you couldn't get ahold of your husband because he was passed out at a friend's house. You might want to have a backup support person at the ready just in case honestly.

I don't know if I really have any other advice for you, since really it's your husband's behavior that needs to change and you don't really have any control over that. You can tell him that you need him to be ready to go at any moment, and maybe if he insists on going out with his friends then he needs to limit his drinking and pay attention to his phone in case you need him? Maybe ask him how he would feel if he wasn't there for you when you needed him, or how he would feel if he was drunk/hungover during the first few hours of his baby's life?

And seriously think about arranging a back up support person for yourself just in case.