How did you make peace with your pregnancy?

knottie2e1d5d04511ccee9

I am 37 years old, and this is my first pregnancy, and I think I am about 4 weeks based on my the last period (November 27th). I am going through horrible mood swings (I have intermittent periods of crying) and diarrhea like no one's business. I am crying because I think that my career is over and I am scared to become a parent, and in the few next minutes I am overjoyed with happiness, thinking that at last I have what I wanted. I have very, very low moments when I contemplate having an abortion and suicide, and in the next instant, I am excited to have someone carry my genes. I am happily married (September 30th) will be two years, and my husband says that he will be with me for the entire pregnancy. However, I have moments of fear and anxiety. Yet, I see pregnant people walking around very confident. How did you guys get through these early days and find peace?

emeraldcity603

Sounds like you could benefit from meeting with someone one on one to talk about these strong emotions. The thoughts of suicide when you’re at your lowest point is concerning. Have you told your husband you have these thoughts? I can honestly say that I have never experienced this level of mood swings with a pregnancy. I would encourage you to seek some professional help via therapy. 

paizface

I’m sorry you’re having so many highs & lows. I agree, talking to someone might be very beneficial. I will say, I have always been a happy go lucky person & never experienced depression until becoming pregnant & it lasted so long… started at about week 5 & I couldn’t shake it until somewhere in the 20s. I was not married, had only been with my partner for 8 months & had terrible morning sickness that had me down 15 lbs & forced me to quit my job. 

For awhile I just referred to my baby as a leech and was so angry. However! So much of that was hormones that I was NOT used to + my guess it was heightened with her being a girl. 

I always felt better when I could actually get my vitamins to stay down, when I took a walk for some fresh air or when I had a long bath with a good book as a distraction. 

I’m now 33 weeks & ever since those first flutters am totally in love & excited. It’s hard in the beginning feeling completely crazy & sick but not seeing a “bump” or feeling baby’s movements. You’re not going to feel like yourself for a while, but there is hope out there that we will be sane again one day. 

Focus on nutrition & self-care, you’ll get through this!!!