Parents disagreement

knottieb773b9aee454efb0

How old was your child when they started going places with their grandparents?

Our daughter is 3.5yrs old and my husband is mad because he thinks our daughter spent time with just her grandparents(my parents). There is no previous reason to not trust any of her 4 grandparents. But husband has always been controlling and doesn’t believe she should be with anyone but us since birth. Only my mom is ”approved” to babysit in an emergency and I had to argue the need for that because it’s impossible for us to be with her at all times. 

Should I be understanding or is it odd that her dad won’t let her be with ANYONE including his family. Unless we are there too. Then they can interact with her, nothing else. 

knottie4030763df97ba78d

I would look into if there’s a reason why. My husband and I are very selective with who is and is not allowed to be alone with our children. We talk through what we’re comfortable with and why. We also set expectations with certain people watching them. For example, there are certain things we don’t let our daughters watch on tv because of faith based reasons and my parents do not have the same faith as us so we lay out the specific shows or movies we allow and tell them they should not out anything else on when watching them. If they didn’t follow our instructions, we would need to reconsider whether or not we allowed them to be alone with them. Some of my husband’s family have had substance abuse issues so we’re not comfortable with some of his family watching them. Others in his family and mine have different discipline practices that we don’t agree with so we lay out how we handle situations and our major do nots when it comes to discipline. We don’t let anyone watch them alone the first time interacting with them. For my husband in particular, he is very selective with who watches our girls because of some abuse in his childhood that was hidden and came from a family member he shouldn’t have been left alone with. It was very difficult for him to talk about but helped me to understand where he was coming from, made me more able to support his wishes and opened up necessary conversations about babysitting so we were both on the same page. If there’s something behind the feeling of him not wanting people alone with your kids, it’s worth asking and trying to have a genuine conversation about it. I hope this helps!