I don’t want to find out sex, husband does

lilamyo

Hi! Anyone else have this disagreement happen? I want to wait till birth to find out the sex of our baby and husband wants to know next week when the NIPT results come in. Neither of us seem to be willing to budge. He insists we need to know so we can “plan”, I explained that nothing is really different as an infant and since we want 2 kids I want a good foundation of GN clothing and supplies and plan to set up the nursery in a GN way. The way I see it, we can get more gendered things once the baby is born. I also feel strongly that I want to avoid knowing the gender in case the pregnancy does not go as planned I don’t want a painful loss to be even more painful because I know the gender. I said that I might be open to a gender reveal in the 3rd trimester but I still would really rather wait because it is a little bit of “magic” that we don’t really get anymore since you can easily get the testing now. 

Anyway, hoping for some advice/ support!

noortle

Congrats on your baby!! We didn’t find out for our first and we’re not planning on it for our second. I really enjoyed getting neutral things, or boxes of things second hand that I could sort out and store for future babies even if they didn’t suit our first. Maybe it would be helpful to make a checklist together and decide what items you need. Most will be neutral for repeat use, but if you really want some gendered items, you could get both for just a few things and then have that nice reveal ready for newborn photos!

lilamyo

Thank you! That is helpful. I also figured that once people knew the gender we would get more things from family likely. This will be the first grandchild on my side 😀

taknpgmnn

We did not find out with either of our children and the GN gifts were huge because we now have one of each gender. Our first was a girl, so naturally she got some pink things after she was born. Our second is a boy so there are times he is stuck with the pink stuff (which is minimal, but still) because it’s just not worth buying something just for color (my opinion). You could try that with your husband. What if your first is a girl and then you have a boy, you’ll either have to a boy who is stuck with girl colors, or have to buy all new stuff if it bothers you for him to have all pink, purple and unicorns. Sometimes color doesn’t bother people, but I feel like it bothers men/dads more with their sons. Just an idea!!! 

Another idea is to wait to reveal gender until after your baby shower so you get mainly GN things, assuming you will have a shower. Don’t tell people you plan to know gender because then they will just wait until the reveal to get you a gift. 

3rd idea, if you do end up finding out, put mainly GN things on your registry. Especially stuff like onesies, bed sheets, dishes, towels, car seat, etc. obviously there will be some gender specific things like clothes, blankets, etc., but if you can get majority of stuff that is GN for your first despite the gender that will help for potential future children. 

Good luck!!!