Should I stay OR Should I go?

knottie4038b9b0b27da2d0

First, let me start off with I love how blunt everyone is here so I would love to hear feedback on my situation! When I met my partner he made his life seem very put together. I had a child from a previous partner and so did he and everyone blended together very well. UNTIL, he came to my home one day saying he needed to tell me something. He finally tells me that he is expecting another child and the woman is close to giving birth. I didn’t know how to feel because I had already fell in love and my daughter adored him and became one of her favorite people. As time went the BM was very angry for a long time because she felt like I stole him when I didn’t even know about her. She threatened to kill me, stalked me, and ultimately we ended up physically fighting. I was so upset with myself because I never had to deal with this before. After some time I felt unprotected and I lost trust in him but I wanted us to work so badly because before all of this everything was so perfect like out of a fairytale. So, his baby comes and everything is rocky but everything changes when I myself became pregnant all while things are volatile with his ex. I wanted my baby and I wanted reassurance to know that I would be safe and he just didn’t give me that and I unfortunately had an abortion that would eventually destroy me and put me in a very deep depression I didn’t want to experience another bad pregnancy or leave him and raise a child on my own without them knowing who their father is. I am always up and down with him feeling at times like I love him and other times like I hate him. But my thing is why can’t I just leave? Is it because I almost had our child that there is this connection that I can’t just separate? Should I stay or go? And if I should go how do I stay gone?