Weekly Randoms 4/29

sph97

A place for random things!

sph97

Anyone have uncomfortable advice/comments from their IL’s?
I have a rocky relationship with mine anyways but my MIL is heavily pushing for me to get a C-Section and I’m one comment away from asking her why she’s so obsessed about the state of my post birth vagina lol 

MinnieMay9

My uncomfortable advice is coming straight from my mom.  She keeps going on and on about how it's sooo hard to bottle feed, but the SO and I already have plans of me pumping and him taking over the morning feedings because he naturally gets up before me.  Don't know how it's gonna play out, but we are standing our ground.

sph97

@MinnieMay9 you will fall into your own routine! 

Just from experience I would prepare to get up and pump in the MOTN because your boobs may feel engorged not feeding especially in the earlier days before your supply regulates! I would wake up and nurse just from how painful my breast were. It gets better but the first couple weeks is the hardest!
If you’d rather pump and let baby sleep so DH can offer that milk later that’s 100% y’all’s decision! & your body will adjust how much milk to make/when based on your babies needs and schedule- it’s pretty amazing!! 

MinnieMay9

@sph97 isn't the saying "Even the best laid plans don't survive the first encounter"?  My SO has joked before that if I'm out of it enough early in the morning he'll just hold Spud onto me and let me sleep, haha.

lexilougolden

Ugh can't wear my wedding ring anymore.  I didn't have any swelling with my first.  My hands are crazy swollen this time!

MinnieMay9

I have switched to a random ring that used to fit another finger as a wedding ring for now.

cscrzldbg

To help with the engorgement, try cabbage leaves. They contain properties which help reduce swelling and inflammation.

Buy a full head of cabbage and keep in the fridge. Peel off a leaf for each breast as needed. The leaves are already custom formed, llol. I usually just stick them in my shirt and forget about them.

More frequent nursing can also help ease the engorgement during the first few days. Whenever it starts to hurt, pop the baby on or do a quick but short pumping. It helps to stay ahead of the engorgement than trying to find relief after it's already full, hard, and tender.

lolothenailtech

I’m scared of breastfeeding this time. With my first, I had SOOO much oversupply and such intense letdown that he would choke and refuse to come back to it. It was very sad for me. I pumped for a few months and eventually we switched to formula. 

With my second, once again I was “blessed” with a huge oversupply again, with intense let down. I tried breastfeeding anyways, and never pumping because I was afraid it would lead to more oversupply so I’d hand release when I was too full, but this time LO hated breastfeeding. She didn’t like to be touched or held or be against our skin. She was a very hard baby. Today she is 9 and has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder with lots of sensory issues so looking back it makes sense, but again, I was sad breastfeeding didn’t work out. 

Hoping third times the charm? My nipples and breast’s are already tender. Getting some let down like pains to my nipples, and already find when I hop in the shower I have some dried colostrum on them each time. 

Most women hope for as much supply as they can. I hope to have normal supply! No lactation cookies for me thanks!!

lexilougolden

@lolothenailtech jealous! Share some of your supply! 😉 Mine was always 2/3rds if what he needed and I had to pump to make sure he was getting enough at 4 months (thanks to period returning). 

lolothenailtech

Lexilougolden I wish I could. It was terrible. 

lexilougolden

@lolo Breastfeeding is hard!! I hope it is easier for you this time. 

littlebabybuster

i tried breastfeeding my preemie but he had so much trouble latching, so i just pumped for him every 3 hours … everyday … for 8 months. it was so tiring that i just gave up at 8 months & finished the year with frozen breastmilk i had stashed. i thought i oversupplied for him due to the pumping schedule.
with my second, i was avoiding pumping at all costs so i latched him as soon as i could & got lots of help from the lactation consultants at the hospital. it was painful & hard for the first couple of weeks but it eventually got better & became enjoyable for both my son & i. i did over produce though, i was extremely engorged and would manually express to feel relief. i never emptied the breast tho! i would also use the hakka when breastfeeding but not on a suction position, just placed over my breast to catch all the letdown & i would still end up with 1-2 ounces each feeding. the cabbage leaves would help so much! eventually i produced just what he needed & we were happy 😊 when i became pregnant i continued nursing till he was 8 months & he naturally weaned himself off so we switched to formula. hoping for the same experience this time around as well, if not, i’ll probably just end up pumping again.

littlebabybuster

& as for uncomfortable comments, my mil has mentioned several times how giving birth is only from natural labor & not through csection? literally saying if anyone has had a csection they didn’t actually give birth. where i live vbacs are not allowed at all, all hospitals in my city have a policy stating its not allowed, so doctors will not even encourage it. after having miscarriages & nicu stays i don’t even care how they’re born, as long as they’re delivered safely and they get to come home with us. so all comments from my mil just goes one ear out the other.

my mom has also made some comments, but hers are doubts. she has said twice already how she has no idea how i’ll do it once baby comes along. she says i won’t be able to homeschool & have a functioning routine once baby is here, but i have a whole homeschooling community of moms who have more children that i do and still make it work. they’re my inspiration & i know i’ll be able to do it, it might be hard at first especially since i’ll have a newborn & a one year old by the time we start our new school year, but i feel determined in proving my mom wrong 😂

lolothenailtech

Livid tonight. We live with my in-laws. We get along. Our house has a separate in law suite that’s attached. We have known since day 1 that the air vents in their appt are shared by the kids air vents in their rooms on that side of the house. FIL bought a victrola off eBay and spent an hour or so cleaning it…with PAINT THINNER….INSIDE THE APARTMENT. W…T….F. 

So I smell something and I’m like damn that smells bad. I go from my bedroom to see what’s going on and get my kids ready for bed and I feel like I can taste paint thinner it’s so strong. Hubby goes to ask and yeah he was cleaning with it indoors. I’m baffled. I am now lying in my bedroom with my son in bed next to me and my daughter in a portable camp cot next to me on the other side and the door to outside open. It smells but not anywhere near as bad as the kids rooms. 

I will not allow the kids to sleep in their rooms with those fumes. Hubby has the couch tonight. 

I’m baffled how he thought it was ok to use paint thinner indoors even if we didn’t share an air vent. It’s so toxic to be breathing in in a non ventilated space. 

Gahhhhh. Hoping we all feel ok and that the morning is better. 

MinnieMay9

Anyone else starting to have really scary dreams?  I was warned that I would have more vivid dreams and they were just regular dreams until recently.
  The one that I keep thinking about was where I was traveling with my cat, Tank, and Spud.  I didn't have my ticket, but I knew I could figure out what gate we needed to go to by finding one of those big flight boards.  I was looking around and couldn't find one, but also noticed that Tank was missing.  I started searching for him but no one seemed to care that he was missing.
  I decided to put our luggage and Spud somewhere safe while I kept looking.  When walking back to my car I ran into a friend.  I asked him to watch my car with the luggage and Spud in it.  I asked around about Tank some more but still got no help.  I decided to go to the gate to see if they had any idea, so I went back to my car.
  When I got to where I left my car I saw my friend playing basketball instead of sitting in my car with everything.  He said he had gotten bored of watching the car.  My car was gone and I tried to find someone to ask about the tow truck information.  The employee said they hadn't heard from the company in months and didn't know how to contact them.  So then I was stuck outside an airport having lost my cat, my car, my luggage, and my baby with no idea how long I had to try and fix any of it.  Then I woke up.

theneno1012

Yes to the dreams! I almost never remember mine but lately I have been and they have been just really weird.

sph97

I’m sorry I feel like I’ve been ranting a lot lately but.

toddler moms, it can’t just be me! My 2y/o has never been so clingy. It’s 11am and I am TOUCHED OUT. I can’t do anything. Anytime I get up he follows me crying to hold him/rock him. What am I going to do when baby is here?!

lolothenailtech

Sph97. I had my kids 2 years apart and I remember exactly what you’re saying. It does get easier though as they become the best playmates together. It will give you time to breathe!! For now, and when baby comes, remember that it takes a village, and ask for help. Don’t wait until you’re in tears. Hugs

alora37

Calling all August 2024 moms! Share your joys, challenges, and experiences of motherhood in our supportive community. From baby milestones to parenting tips, let's navigate this journey together. Connect with fellow moms, celebrate achievements, and find solace in the shared adventure of raising little ones born in August 2024.

sph97

@lolothenailtech thank you 💗 we don’t really have a “village.” We learned with our first his family was more talk than walk, my MIL always says “call me if you need xyz!” But when we call they are busy or something comes up and they can’t help with our son. It’s been a whole thing, so I guess I have anxiety knowing a lot does fall on me because we don’t have anyone to turn too! I can count on my fingers how many times she’s agreed to watch him and actually come through, and he’s 2! AND she’s our neighbor 😅

I have a sitter that has offered to watch my son 1-2 days a week when baby gets here before I return to work and I may do that, but I hate we’d have to pay for childcare while I’m on MAT leave

lolothenailtech

Sph97…a village doesn’t always mean family. More often than not it ISNT family. Any girlfriends? 

sph97

In the afternoons I have a friend that could help, and weekends! & I do have a friend that works part time. I didn’t even think to reach out to them. Thank you for the reminder! 🤍

annabanana051416

@MinnieMay9 yes I have been having vivid dreams and some nightmares recently too.

@sph97 my youngest turns 2 next month and has been SO clingy lately. I’m not too stressed about it though, mostly because I’ve been through this before, having kids about every two years, and it somehow always works itself out. Hope I’m not jinxing myself this time by saying that…

knottied7b41636c37c5521

Your experience and calm perspective are reassuring. It’s great to hear you’re handling it well; each phase passes, and your little one will grow more independent in no time.