Fed up, no one to talk to

jkanz22

Hello, my hubby and I have been ttc for over a year now. Had a chemical preg x 1. So we have both been checked out. Everything is working as supposed to worry me, but hubby has low count. We have now gone through 2 iui cycles and I don't think my mental health could stand going through another. To increase our chances, they have me clomid. First round had 2 follicles. Second had 3. They also have me take the trigger shot 36 hours prior to insemination. The doctor I got for both procedures said he liked the chances both times. Second time though I was sketchy of his words. Then there's the whole progesterone suppository, but that could be a thread by itself. But this cycle, I felt so betrayed. 5 dpiui I started having pregnancy symptoms. Increased urination, food aversion, occasional nausea...I did hpt days 7 and 8 after just to see if the shot was out. Faint lines both days. Figured likely the shot. Tested again day 10, same faint line... I was like nah... can't still be the shot.... line is the same! Tested next day.... bfn. Then the next day... bfn. Finally, day 14.... bfn. I was absolutely devastated. It's like my body tricked me. I just had that feeling that it happened up until that 11th day! I just felt it! Then to realize.... it was just that dang shot! I'm wondering if they can just prescribe me the clomid, then let us do our thing. I feel like I'm paying these doctors for nothing! And I feel like the process interrupts and in a way worsens or chances/ mess up with possibility. And I can't afford IVF. I just don't have anyone I can talk to about this, as my actual friends either has their kid super young, or chose not to have any, and just wouldn't understand. And for reference, I am 35, and hubby is 40. No kids prior for either of us. 

nerakh246

I can totally relate to everything you wrote. I was doing IUI cycles because of my age they said IVF wouldn't work due to poor egg quality. The progesterone suppositories would play with my hormones and mess with my heart and head every cycle. It was literally torture. We did 3 IUI cycle with clomid injections, but no trigger shot. The first time we actually did the IUI procedure. The second time I ovulated early and they said my follicle was too small so we did timed intercourse. Both times were negative. I had an appointment to speak with the doctor to try something else because my follicles were still so small when I would ovulate. The third time again I ovulated early my follicle only got to 1.5cm. We did timed intercourse and it worked! We now have a baby girl even though we were told we only had less than 5% chance of conceiving. So it's worth a shot. We were TTC for 6 years, and got the run around from other clinics and doctors. My cycles were all over the place so I think we just kept missing ovulation. This was the first clinic that were willing to take a chance and let us try, others told us we needed an egg donar. Taking the clomid and having the clinic monitor my cycle helped us to pinpoint the timing. I wish you the best of luck, don't give up!