1st Trimester

What would you do in this situation? This is my first pregnancy, I am 13 weeks.

So this is a message I received from my sister. I will give you all a backstory. I met my now husband in may. We got really close really fast, sharing our wants and dreams of marriage, kids, family. All of it. In September I started spending most nights with him, and ending up staying at his parents place those nights. My parents were so angry because I “wasn’t married” casting judgement and sending countless bible verses. Keep in mind I am religious myself.. i was sad but I was so genuinely happy someone finally put me first (my man). At the end of January I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. We were so happy. Even though it was out of wedlock and my parents who are super religious I know would not like it. We already got a marriage licence before this because we both wanted that extra security, a quick courthouse wedding and this happened before I even found out I was pregnant. One of my older sisters got on my email somehow, saw courthouse plans, and then my mom was calling me saying it would be a nightmare if I got married, they got my cousins involved who I don’t speak to about sensitive private topics like this. Basically messaging me at barely 6 weeks pregnant that I “better te,k my family” excuse me!? I better tell them? This is my life and my choice of when i want to tell and feel safe to. It was such a breach of privacy. Then my other sister would send me messages like “we know you’re pregnant” I’m disgusting, deceiving , my husband is abusive, etc. all these lies. They made me feel so unsafe and unsupportive there was no way I could say anything at this point.  Y husband got a good job a few hours away, so i decided to go with him obviously. Were married and having a baby! I knew my family would not take this well. But i told them. We called my dad and mom yesterday after my 13 week ultrasound went well to tell them. They didn’t react well. My sister and family think I’m already 6 months pregnant for some reason!? They don’t believe me. My husband posted the ultrasound on his birthday a week ago on his Facebook and instagram that no one my family follows. They screenshot it and send it to my mom and they all conspire about me. They screenshot his story off Facebook with a post below it added December 6th. They circle it thinking I’m 3 months already then. Which is not true!? My extended family creeps his instagram and then my family thinks i blocked them. Yesterday when i was so excited for my ultrasound my oldest sister sends me this,,,, keep in mind this is definitely the reason I don’t feel comfortable. What would you do in this situation, I feel stuck and part of me was hopeful they would be even slightly supportive. 


SoSo

Re: What would you do in this situation? This is my first pregnancy, I am 13 weeks.

  • I'm sorry for all that you've had to deal with. Right now, the most important thing is doing your best to make sure you have a healthy and safe pregnancy. Added stress is never good. From an outsider's prospective, you're seeking acceptance and support from a family that's not willing to give those to you. Even if only temporarily, it might be in your (and your baby's) best interest to take a step back from your family. Sometimes removing ourselves from a situation is the only solution. Your sister is right about one thing: you will need help with the baby in the future. However, that help can come from your husband's side of the family and friends. I can't imagine your family being helpful if they're this "upset" now. You are important. You are growing a new life. Please take care of yourself before anyone else; that's the only wat you'll be able to give your child your best. Congratulations to you and your husband for starting your own family! Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy! 
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