1st Trimester

How to deal with the unknown?

Hi all. This is my first time getting pregnant. We tried for about 3 months, and I am 33. I am barely pregnant: 4w 5d and over the moon.

Learning about how common MC is and the potential causes gives me a lot of anxiety. I know there is not a lot in my control and it feels so scary.

How do you deal with not knowing whether the pregnancy will continue? I'm having a hard time focusing on other things.

I know worrying will probably do more harm than good but there is such a long time to wait and it's stressful.

Thanks for listening --

Re: How to deal with the unknown?

  • edited March 19
    Pregnancy brain is a real thing. Not just the forgetfulness but everything I do and think about is pregnancy based, even when it's not somehow I turn it back to pregnancy. It's been like that everytime for me. 
    I try not to voice it, because how long would that 10 months be for everyone? 🤣

    Seeing the baby in the US or hearing the heartbeat are the best reassurances and it truly sucks waiting for them. 

    I have had 1 miscarriage and 4 babies, currently pregnant with my 5th. Everytime I have that feeling it may not be, but I trust in our abilities as humans and the fact that I got pregnant in the first place as a great sign. Most everything will be out of your control, so focus on what you can control. Exercise, diet, vitamins, meditation, etc. A big part of pregnancy is mental. Focus on that. It will help for labor as well. 
    Congratulations! Hope you hear that beautiful heartbeat soon. 
  • Thanks, this is really touching and made me cry. I appreciate your insight so much 💜

    I will try to stay positive and also take your advice. I hope I'll hear the heartbeat soon too
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  • @calam1ty As you said, if you are going to MC, there's not really anything you can do to stop it.  As a RPL (recurrent PG loss) sufferer, the only thing that has gotten me through my PGs and my losses, is the focus that you are PG TODAY.  You love that baby every day you have it, whether that is 7 weeks of PG, 15 weeks of PG, or until a live birth, you will have no regrets knowing you loved that baby every day that you had it.

    It is ok to acknowledge the realities of MC chances. But you can't let the fear take over your life and PG. If you would have a MC, many who have suffered MC before will help you through.  It is common, but RPL is not common, and the knowledge that you can get PG and most likely to go on to have a living baby, should be comforting. 
    And if you would unlikely end up in the very rare percentage of those of us who have serious issues getting and staying PG and delivering a living baby, there are medical tests and help available, and a huge support community to be found to help you through it.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.


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