Denies having a dirty diaper and gets major meltdowns


I have a boy who is 3.5 years old who has started resisting during diaper changes for the past 2-3 weeks. This has only gotten worse and worse. It's especially bad when he has recently pooped and i tell him it's time to change his diaper. He refuses to cooperate. He says he hasn't pooped or he doesn't have time. When I force him, he has a major meltdown and starts screaming, hitting, and kicking. I'm just waiting for him to really hit me with a kick. It's been close several times. He's getting so big, and it's very challenging to try to handle this.

If he has only peed, I usually wait and change him until he tells me or is ready, and that usually works fine. But I've been a bit worried that he might get diaper rash from this. But it's something he hasn't had any problems with so far.

I've let him be without a diaper several times in hopes of getting him to use the potty instead. However, he's not interested in it at all and ends up peeing/pooping in his pants instead. So, I've given up on potty training until he shows interest in it.

I'm now feeling like I can't handle these constant meltdowns anymore. What can I do to reduce these outbursts during diaper changes? He's usually so kind.
It might be worth mentioning that his father moved away from us almost a year ago, and since then, he has occasionally felt a bit anxious/uncertain.
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