Disciplining

knottieed9233d0186aa987

Hey mama’s! I have a 19 month old baby girl, whose personality is booming! She is starting to throw things like food off trays water bottle or toys off her stroller when she’s “upset” or not wanting the item. She’s also starting hitting me in the face when upset. How do I start disciplining her? Any books or techniques anyone can suggest?!

knottie4f8c9aa2cdcfaa04

hey mama so, disciplining a toddler is about teaching appropriate behavior rather than punishing them for being "bad." Stay patient, consistent, and loving, and you'll likely see improvements over time. Every child is different, so you may need to experiment with different techniques to find what works best for your daughter. but here's what I've learn in childhood classes

Consistency and Patience: Toddlers thrive on routine and consistency. Try to establish clear boundaries and consistently enforce them. However, be patient with her as she learns what is acceptable behavior.

Redirecting: When your daughter throws things or hits, gently redirect her attention to something more appropriate. For example, if she throws food, calmly remove it and offer her something else to eat. If she hits you, firmly tell her, "We don't hit," and then redirect her to a toy or activity.

Modeling Behavior: Toddlers learn a lot by watching those around them. Model gentle behavior and use positive reinforcement when she behaves well. Praise her when she uses words to communicate her needs instead of resorting to hitting or throwing.

Time-outs: Some parents find time-outs effective for teaching toddlers about consequences. When your daughter hits or throws things, you can calmly tell her that hitting is not okay and place her in a safe, quiet space for a brief time-out. Make sure the time-out is short (around one minute per year of age) and that you explain why she's there when it's over.

Books and Resources: There are many books available on toddler discipline and parenting strategies. "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp and "No-Drama Discipline" by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson are popular choices among parents.

Positive Reinforcement: Reinforce positive behavior by praising and rewarding your daughter when she behaves well. This could be as simple as giving her a hug, high-five, or verbal praise when she shares, uses gentle touches, or communicates her needs calmly.

i hope this works for any moms

annemarie96

For throwing food on the floor we've always just calmly taken the food away. Sometimes it's frustrating, but the behavior normally doesn't last long in our house and it's not a huge battle, because our kids love food and are very motivated by it. If the food disappears suddenly that's not fun for them anymore. 

j-redd222

For disciplining at that age, I try to go with redirection and natural consequences. Like the previous post said, if they throw food I take it away. My kids have mainly thought throwing food was a fun game and not having their food anymore takes away that fun. I’ll also show/ tell my expectation. I’ll say good goes in our mouth or on our plate and point to my mouth and the plate to show her what I mean. 

My daughter is also feisty and would hit/ bite when angry. For hitting, I would always tell her we don’t hit, we use gentle hands and I would example gentle hands to her. For biting I would say we don't bite people and redirect her to a teething toy that she could bite.
I’ve found it’s mainly about consistency and exampling positive behaviors. Even on their bad days, my kids want to do right and receive positive reinforcement. Sometimes they just don’t know how and they don’t have the emotional maturity to separate their feelings from their actions. If we can give them the tools to have successful interactions and maintain our own emotional maturity during these frustrating moments, it really helps them to know what’s right and what’s expected of them. 

noortle

A book I have absolutely loved is called “Hunt, Gather, Parent” by Michaeleen Doucleff. She interviewed families, communities and anthropologists on how cultures worldwide parent their children, and then she applied what she learned to her 3.5 year old. I have a 14 month old and am just starting to apply some of what I’ve learned.

The big things are similar to what was said above— staying calm, modeling proper behavior, and recognizing that children misbehave because they are learning, not because they are naughty. One thing I am trying with my little one, who also throws food off her tray/toys out of her stroller or kicks me, is to give as little feedback as possible to behaviors like that, and then give lots more acknowledgment when she does things like bring me her shoes or sippy cup or books. If a behavior doesn’t get a response, eventually they will learn that it’s not worth it.

littlestepss

You need to address the underlying issues to help correct the behavior. I recently read two great books about managing toddlers’ behavior, and I highly recommend them! Both are packed with real-life situations, practical solutions, strategies, and helpful tips: a) Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be – https://ko-fi.com/post/Good-Inside-A-Guide-to-Becoming-the-Parent-You-Wa-I3I018J2RS and b)
Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise an Emotionally Resilient Child – https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Humans-Big-Emotions-Emotionally/dp/0063306271/ref=sr_1_1
In my opinion, every parent should have these in their library