Birth Wishes Thread

virtaur

Whether you’re a FTM or STM+, share your birth wishes here! 
Here are some questions you can go off of, feel free to add your own!

- will you have a paper or just communicate your wishes?
- pain management?
- interventions you’re okay with/not okay with?
- are you opting for induction?
- how are you planning on getting ready for labor/delivery?
- will you do a hospital tour?
- any birth classes?
- who will you have in delivery room?
- what are your wishes for right after birth/postpartum/baby?
- will you allow visitors in the hospital?

virtaur

- will you have a paper or just communicate your wishes?
I verbally communicate what I want since things can change a lot & quickly. The nurse I had for my son wrote on the white board what my initial wishes were (water)
- pain management?
Last time I wanted to labor in the tub and ideally have no meds. However I was induced and it took a long time so I hit my limit and knew I needed relief (I was only 4 cm at the time and knew I wouldn’t have made it, my epidural allowed me to fully dilate in a few hours). I also tried IV fentanyl which just made me loopy. This time I’ll be the same way, try as long as I can. Fingers crossed labor happens on its own & it’s not as lengthy. I would like to try water since I never got to last time, but idk how that works with my new provider, I’ll have to ask once we get closer. I don’t do anything else like music/aromatherapy. But I did have the tv on and watched a lot of food network haha
- interventions you’re okay with/not okay with?
I’m down for whatever. Last time I pushed for a long time so I wanted to try the forceps before c section. However I will not do that again as the recovery from an almost 4th degree tear was really hard on me. Took me longer than the ladies in my last BMB that had csections. So if she gets stuck unless it’s the only option to save her I’ll elect for the c section. I’m fine with any meds.
- are you opting for induction?
Ideally no, I’d like for my body to be ready and for it to happen on its own. But I’ll do what I need to if medically necessary. 
- how are you planning on getting ready for labor/delivery?
Probably try to walk a lot, I have a ball, never really tried the sex trick lol I don’t do anything else. I may do perineal massage/stretching since mine is pretty much all scar tissue and I have a higher risk of it tearing again. 
- will you do a hospital tour?
Nah
- any birth classes?
No
- who will you have in delivery room?
Just H and whoever needs to be there. I  also don’t care if students are there and need to observe. I have no modesty anymore 🤣
- what are your wishes for right after birth/postpartum/baby?
Skin to skin which is what happened without having to ask. Delayed cord clamping for as long as they can. Nursing etc. Baby gets all the shots/ointment.
- will you allow visitors in the hospital?
Since we didn’t have visitors during Covid I think it would be nice this time if people want to. I want my son to meet his sister in hospital! 

HGRich

- I found with my daughter (my first) that having anything on paper is fairly useless. It gets lost in the fray. As long as DH knows what I want and the doc has discussed it with me beforehand I’m fine with verbally communicating it. 

-pain management: planning on epidural. But like, wanting to put it off for longer this time. Depending on the situation. If pitocin is needed to get me going for an induction scenario, then epi sooner. If not, it will depend. The epi helped me get from 4-10 in a few hours after taking 2 days to get to a 4 with my first. 

-I’m fine with episotomy, all the monitors. I’d love to avoid a c sec but I’m just going to do whatever is necessary. 

-if I get a GD diagnosis I will be encouraged to induce. I had an induction with my son for that reason and it went fantastic. No complaints. But it helped that I was already 90% effaced and 3 dilated before I even got there. This time if I do I’d like to try a bulb and/or breaking my water and seeing if that’s enough before pitocin. But if I don’t have GD I’ll wait for him to come on his own. Unless there’s some other concern of course. But I don’t have a history of any concerns or even high bp, so we’ll see I guess. 

-preparation: I’m already doing all the yoga and hip openers and squats. I’ll be bouncing on my yoga ball and drinking the tea. I don’t know if I can do dates. They’re too gross. And if I get GD I’ll probably not be able to have that much sugar anyway. Told DH he better be ready to give me all the sex no matter how freakin huge I am at that point. Lmao. 

-no tour or classes. I’ve done this twice and it’s the same hospital as the last two times. 

-DH will be in there. I had my mom in there for my first and she was really honored to watch which is cool. She took photos. But with my second and with this one I’ll need her to be with my kids at home. 

-right after: immediate skin to skin, only slightly delayed cord clamping (my other two were jaundiced and I’m not interested in making that worse with long delay), I want to look at my placenta because I think that’s cool, immediately latching.  Obviously if I get a c sec I’ll still request skin to skin. I’ve heard they do that now. I don’t think I’ll have a c sec since I’ve had two uneventful vaginal births but it can’t hurt to be prepared. 

-visitors: I’ll let my in laws come see him I guess. If they can come. My SIL 8 hours away is due a couple weeks after me, so it’s hard to say. If nobody comes besides my mom bringing the older kids to meet him I’m not gonna be upset. lol. The hospital stays have always been kinda sucky for me and I’m not going to be in a good mood. 

-to add, I’m going to request birthing on all fours or on my side with the epidural. I didn’t mind birthing on my back with my first two because I wanted to watch them come out with a mirror. But this time I want a position that’s better for my body. And I’ll request a warm damp cloth pressed against my perineum for counter pressure to prevent tearing. 

I’ll also request dimmed lighting and I might bring soothing sounds and a soothing lotion but I get overstimulated easily (hello ptsd) and so too much going on is not helpful either. 

virtaur

I’ll also add that labor is very much a situation of you have no idea how you’ll act until you’re in the middle of it. I swore up and down I wouldn’t get an epidural. But there’s no shame in it and yes there are risks but it was worth it! 

ETA: I was still able to move my legs and get into different pushing positions. I wasn’t completely stuck on my back. I just wish they would’ve tried more ways to get him to move his head naturally but in the end it is what it is. 

Also, I did chiropractor visits starting in second tri and I have no idea if they were beneficial at all other than it felt good lol. My son still got stuck in my pelvis as he was malpositioned anyway so I don’t know if it was worth the money but who knows 🤣

virtaur

@hgrich I went from a 4-10 in a few hours too! It took me like 1.5 days to get to a 4, even my water breaking on its own after induction started barely did anything. and then after the epi I zoomed to fully dilated. I’m hoping my cervix does a bit of prepping on its own this time. I was completely closed & not effaced at all and I couldn’t handle the cervix check pain so they couldn’t get the foley in. THANKFULLY birth cured my slight vaginismus so I’ll be able to handle everything now 👏🏻 and I LOVED seeing my placenta, I made H take a pic of it and he hated me for that hahaha

virtaur

Bumping this up

bserena

- will you have a paper or just communicate your wishes?
I will have a form filled out (I am a doula so have one handy, lol!), but mostly will just be communicating my wishes. I like the form just in case for some reason I cannot communicate, my husband and nurses will have something written down with my preferences.
- pain management?
I am torn - I got an epidural with my son but it failed and it was pretty miserable. I may try to go without this time rather than get it, it not work, and then be stuck in pain. I actually wanted to do the birth center this time but chickened out because there are no med options should I change my mind lol. My hospital did just get nitrous which is awesome, so I will try that and IV meds first and then possibly epidural, we shall see.
- interventions you’re okay with/not okay with?
I was induced with my son at 41w, so had cervadil, pitocin, they broke my water, and ended up using a vacuum. I would prefer to not go that route this time, but if something is needed, I will do it. I'd like to try and go into labor naturally this time and have my water break on its own, etc.
- are you opting for induction?
Nope, unless absolutely needed.
- how are you planning on getting ready for labor/delivery?
Raspberry leaf tea, walking, perineal massage.
- will you do a hospital tour?
Nope, but going to the same hospital as last time.
- any birth classes?
Nope, but I am a doula so that training was like 80 birth classes in one, lol!
- who will you have in delivery room?
Most likely just my husband, but my mom and sisters will likely be in the waiting room. I would also have my best friend but she has a newborn so not sure she will be able to make it.
- what are your wishes for right after birth/postpartum/baby?
100% the golden hour - no taking baby from me, wiping baby off, etc. Immediate skin to skin. Everything else can wait, as long as baby and I are healthy. Also, baby to stay in room with me, delayed cord clamping, delayed first bath.
- will you allow visitors in the hospital?
My mom and sisters, and my son yes. Everyone else can wait, lol!

knottief4d4dd80cf38c5ef

Sending heartfelt birthday wishes your way! May your special day be filled with joy, laughter, and unforgettable moments. Here's to another year of amazing adventures, personal growth, and happiness. May all your dreams and aspirations come true as you embark on this new chapter of life. Cheers to you and the wonderful journey ahead. :)

virtaur

knottief4d4dd80cf38c5ef said:

> @virtaur said:
> @hgrich I went from a 4-10 in a few hours too! It took me like 1.5 days to get to a 4, even my water breaking on its own after induction started barely did anything. and then after the epi I zoomed to fully dilated. I’m hoping my cervix does a bit of prepping on its own this time. I was completely closed & not effaced at all and I couldn’t handle the cervix check pain so they couldn’t get the foley in. THANKFULLY birth cured my slight vaginismus so I’ll be able to handle everything now 👏🏻 and I LOVED seeing my placenta, I made H take a pic of it and he hated me for that hahaha

@hgrich, I went from 4 to 10 in just a few hours! Despite a 1.5-day struggle to reach 4, my water breaking during induction had minimal effect. Surprisingly, after the epidural, I rapidly progressed to full dilation. Hoping for some natural cervix preparation this time, as I was previously closed and not effaced, making it too painful for a foley insertion. Fortunately, giving birth resolved my vaginismus, so I can handle everything now.

Why did you randomly decide to rewrite my comment? This is a forum not English class. You’re giving weirdo vibes. No thanks. 

virtaur

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