Mom Guilt

wildermama

I have the sweetest little girl in the world (in my eyes at least) and I’m having a hard time feeling “ok” about taking any amount of time for myself. Lately, she’s been having a rough time with sleep - naps and nighttime alike - and I hit my limit yesterday with how tired I’ve become. My husband has absolutely been helping, but between me wfh with her during the day and her just preferring me for soothing at night, I’m just exhausted. My husband suggested that I take tonight to sleep in the guest bedroom to get a full nights sleep, and while that sounds incredible - I’m overwhelmed with guilt even considering it. What if she wakes up and is confused why I’m not there? What if she feels abandoned by me? I know logically I can be a better mom for her if I feel more rested, but taking any time away from her feels like I’m betraying her somehow. How do other moms cope with this feeling?

wwcr17

@wildermama I am dealing with the exact same thing. My daughter is experiencing extreme separation anxiety and sleep regression and now cries and is very upset whenever she’s put down in her crib. I think it’s great your husband is very supportive and suggested sleeping elsewhere. If you aren’t ready for an entire night alone, since it’s the weekend, why not try a nap to yourself in the guest room? That may alleviate your guilt and test the waters. Something that works well for our family is when my daughter wakes up in the mornings, my husband takes her out of the room and I sleep an additional hour or so until he has to go to work. This extra time alone helps tremendously and allows me to function during the day. You are not alone in feeling this way, I am working on trying to take time for myself and it’s easier said than done. I went out to dinner last weekend with some friends and missed bedtime and felt extremely guilty and guess what? Everything was fine! My husband and daughter had a great night and he put her to bed. Good luck and try to get some rest

urooj366

Spend quality time with little ones by engaging in activities they enjoy, such as reading together or playing games, to nurture a strong bond and create lasting memories. Prioritize undivided attention, ensuring a positive and meaningful connection. you can improve your parenting tasks by following this. 

j-redd222

I had this issue too and, ultimately, allowing my husband to take a more active role was extremely helpful for me and my little girl. My daughter would only want me at bedtime. If my husband tried to put her to bed she would cry for me and get to the point of hysterics saying she needed her mommy. It broke my heart. My husband wanted to start putting her to bed regularly (every other day) to give me a break and break this habit. For the first week it was really bad. I had to fight not to go upstairs and interrupt and he had to deal with a lot of tears and pleas for him not to be there. Once my daughter realized this was a consistent practice though, she started to stop crying and she stopped wanting me every time. Turns out, my husband started playing fun little bedtime games with her and is just as good at comforting her and loving her as I am. I can’t tell you how much pressure this took off of me. 

It sounds like you also have a great husband who wants to help you and be a great father. My advice is let him help and ignore the pushback that is going to happen in the beginning because she’s not used to it. It will do your daughter so much good knowing that both mommy and daddy love her and will protect and comfort her. I now feel more empowered to leave my kids at home with my husband knowing he is capable and has a bond with my daughters that isn’t exactly like mine but rather beautiful and strong in its own right. I can take a break and know I’m not depriving my kids of me but allowing them to deepen their relationship with their daddy. I could’ve never imagined how freeing this one change could’ve been for me. I hope this helps you too and you’re able to get some much deserved relief! 

knottie3bc5880562037a19

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