Babies: 9 - 12 Months
bunnyloveee
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Little Man's First Birthday
bunnyloveee
member
My little man is turning one in January. I've told everyone from the very beginning that I didn't want to do anything on his actual birthday because I wanted that day just for my boyfriend, myself, and baby. No grandparents, no siblings, no extended family, just us. I made it very clear that IF we decided to throw a party or have a big get together with the family, it would be the following weekend. As a first time parent, it's just very important to me that we have this day to ourselves and enjoy the day with our son alone while we relish and celebrate our growth and accomplishments this past year. I wanted to be selfish just for this one day and have my little family all to myself. I had mentioned to my boyfriend that I'd like to go to Shedd Aquarium with our little one that day since he loves loves fish and I thought it'd be a fun and unique experience for us. I also really wasn't interested or overly enthusiastic about throwing a party then since I will be starting paramedic academy soon and will have a full plate.
Anyway, my boyfriend recently mentioned to me that his brother, sister in law, and their new little one will be coming into town the weekend of my son's birthday. All of a sudden, his mom plans a party to celebrate his brother being in town on my son's birthday and my boyfriend wants us to attend. I'd reminded him that I wanted that day reserved for us and he had planned for our son's birthday to also be celebrated at this event. I was never consulted on this or given any other alternatives and feel like my wishes were disregarded. I'm perfectly happy to spend every other day with his family while they're here minus that one day and offered my boyfriend the option to throw a big party for the rest of the family the following weekend as originally discussed.
The problem with this is not only that I didn't want to share my son that day with anyone else, but also that other family would end up getting left out. This would be at my boyfriend's mom's house and his parents are divorced. His dad, stepmom, and half sister would be left out in addition to my side of the family, including my sisters, my cousins, and my son's godparents. I also didn't want to have any get togethers on my son's birthday, as it falls in the first week of January, and I wanted to give everyone enough time to recover after the holidays in case anyone gets sick. My mom is high risk and could easily end up in the hospital if she catches something. My son also gets scared around large crowds and the last couple of times that he has been around that side of the family, he has cried to the point of hyperventilating and my boyfriend and I have had to go sit in another room by ourselves to calm him down. I don't think it's fair that my son be upset especially on his birthday. My boyfriend suggested going to the aquarium first thing in the morning and then heading to the party afterwards, but I think trying to plan the trip around his nap times, trying to work in his meals, the long drive, and all the excitement will just be too much for his little self in one day.
My boyfriend is truly a wonderful dad and I respect that he has a say in this too. He's done a lot for our family and I appreciate everything that he has done for us. I don't mean to be difficult and would go to the ends of the world for my boyfriend, but this is the exact opposite of what I wanted.
1. Am I acting childish or b*tchy for not wanting to go to this party?
2. How can I kindly and respectfully explain to him that I really do not want to have to deal with that party on that specific day? I have tried to have a conversation with him already and feel like we got nowhere.
All advice and feedback are sincerely appreciated
Anyway, my boyfriend recently mentioned to me that his brother, sister in law, and their new little one will be coming into town the weekend of my son's birthday. All of a sudden, his mom plans a party to celebrate his brother being in town on my son's birthday and my boyfriend wants us to attend. I'd reminded him that I wanted that day reserved for us and he had planned for our son's birthday to also be celebrated at this event. I was never consulted on this or given any other alternatives and feel like my wishes were disregarded. I'm perfectly happy to spend every other day with his family while they're here minus that one day and offered my boyfriend the option to throw a big party for the rest of the family the following weekend as originally discussed.
The problem with this is not only that I didn't want to share my son that day with anyone else, but also that other family would end up getting left out. This would be at my boyfriend's mom's house and his parents are divorced. His dad, stepmom, and half sister would be left out in addition to my side of the family, including my sisters, my cousins, and my son's godparents. I also didn't want to have any get togethers on my son's birthday, as it falls in the first week of January, and I wanted to give everyone enough time to recover after the holidays in case anyone gets sick. My mom is high risk and could easily end up in the hospital if she catches something. My son also gets scared around large crowds and the last couple of times that he has been around that side of the family, he has cried to the point of hyperventilating and my boyfriend and I have had to go sit in another room by ourselves to calm him down. I don't think it's fair that my son be upset especially on his birthday. My boyfriend suggested going to the aquarium first thing in the morning and then heading to the party afterwards, but I think trying to plan the trip around his nap times, trying to work in his meals, the long drive, and all the excitement will just be too much for his little self in one day.
My boyfriend is truly a wonderful dad and I respect that he has a say in this too. He's done a lot for our family and I appreciate everything that he has done for us. I don't mean to be difficult and would go to the ends of the world for my boyfriend, but this is the exact opposite of what I wanted.
1. Am I acting childish or b*tchy for not wanting to go to this party?
2. How can I kindly and respectfully explain to him that I really do not want to have to deal with that party on that specific day? I have tried to have a conversation with him already and feel like we got nowhere.
All advice and feedback are sincerely appreciated