bender before a transfer ? (mention of loss)

fcourt

Hi - I did something suuuper stupid on the weekend and am freaking out. I've been doing IVF for 3.5 years - i think I'm up to 8 stim cycles and 12 transfers of 20 embryos... 3 losses ... I have two frozen embryos in storage. I've had a break the last 2 months and was going to do a transfer this month.

I went out with a friend on friday night and a bunch of her friends who I had never met. It was a concert so had a few drinks / a dance and was letting off some steam, and when it was done, it was still earlyish, but one of her friends was super drunk and my friend said she was going to take her home. I WISH I had gone home - but another one of the women who I had been having a laugh with was off to meet friends at another bar and would I like to come. I was still pretty buzzed so I said yes, and it was fun to meet new people. Anyway, one yes lead to another yes and ended up doing cocaine which I havent done in YEARSSSSSS and now I am totally freaking out and full of shame and WTF is wrong with me.

I got my period today - I dont know whether it will affect anything, if I think rationally I kind of think it wont, but interested in other opinions. Will not be drinking alcohol or even coffee or ANYTHING else for a long time. Drinking 4L water a day from now on!

tepretend

It's important to reach out to a healthcare professional or a trusted person in your life who can offer support and guidance. They can provide the appropriate advice and assistance based on your specific situation.

00kim00

I'm a little confused with your math (3.5 years, 12 transfers and 20 embryos, but only 3 losses... So you have how many living kids? 17? 9? Or are you only counting them as losses after they reach a particular gestation and you have none?). But regardless, this seems extreme in a few ways. First, EIGHT stim cycles and 12 transfers are a LOT. Even one can be traumatic and emotionally taxing. Do you have support? A therapist? A community or support group? Healthy friendships (that can have fun and be there for each other without substances)? The fact that you leaned so hard into substances, and not just alcohol but cocaine, makes me wonder if you need more emotional support and healthy ways to take a break.

Will cocaine affect the outcome of the transfer? And for how long might it have an impact? I have no idea, but if I were in your shoes I'd definitely talk to the doctor about it. We have way too much invested in each cycle to hide relevant information that can be used for medical decision making. Maybe there is some research that can tell you when the best time for a transfer is after that exposure. And it sounds like you've already used 90% of your embryos and only have 2 left... I'd want to give them the best shot possible is it were me.

Bottom line: tell your doctor what happened to decide next steps for a transfer, and start prioritizing you and your mental health, getting the support you need during this incredibly difficult time.

fcourt

Sorry for being unclear - I meant 3 miscarraiges, the rest of the transfers didn't work. Yes its a lot. Its been extremely traumatic. Thanks for your thoughts, I really dont want to tell the doctor but maybe I will have to. :(