June 2024 Moms

Struggling emotionally

I’m almost 10 weeks and was fine until about week 6. Since then I’ve been miserable. I’m in school and working two jobs and already felt like my plate was more than full. I was eating well, exercising, staying on top of my classes, and felt like I was finally hitting my stride- and then I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned and it’s been a rollercoaster. I’ve been exhausted and have no motivation to study, clean, exercise, or really do anything other than lay down. The nausea has kept me from eating anything healthy, and I know that has probably been contributing to how I feel but it seems out of my control. The girls in my class are a lot younger and having never been here, i don’t feel like they could understand. I mostly work with men so proper support isn’t very available there, and the girls I work with are sympathetic enough, but didn’t experience the same symptoms that I’ve been having. I resent my fiancé for being able to drink and smoke and carry on with his life as though nothing has changed. And I feel guilty for resenting him, and for not being overjoyed. I’m miserable and it makes me feel like a failure. In the beginning I was excited and feeling like I could pull it off. Since then it’s been a steady decline and I’ve not ever felt so alone.

Re: Struggling emotionally

  • I hear you! My boyfriend and I were NOT trying… we have two little girls and were done. But then I started having symptoms and took a test “just in case”. That was last week. I feel nervous and scared and not overjoyed. I had a difficult time last birth and was glad to be done. Now I’m worried how I will manage another newborn,childcare costs, pumping at work again etc… I told my boyfriend right away but haven’t told anyone else. I don’t have any advice except to say, I hear you. We will be keeping this baby, and I know I will feel more attached eventually. I hope the same is true for you.
  • @someonehelp2 I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I think all of this is normal, even if it is really hard. That said, even if it is completely normal, I definitely recommend potentially looking into a therapist. I started therapy during my first pregnancy and I'm so thankful I did. So much of what you are saying resonates with me - especially how I felt during my first pregnancy. I had so many moments of feeling bitter that my husband could carry on normally - I think I was mentally prepared for my life to change once I had a kid, but was kind of startled with how much it felt like I changed when I was pregnant (and that it only changed for me, not my husband). I also didn't really feel connected to my baby until she was born and really struggled with that (and also I'll add it took some time for me to feel that connection even after she was born - but that is ALSO completely normal and it eventually came). In terms of the exhaustion and eating poorly - I feel that so much right now. I'm finally feeling a little better, but I did not feel like doing ANYTHING and could basically only stomach unhealthy food. You should start having more energy and being able to make more conscious decisions about what you eat soon-ish (varies when exactly for everyone)!
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  • I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Pregnancy brings a wide range of emotions and I have been struggling as well. I'm going to look into getting a therapist soon!
  • @someonehelp2 being is pregnant is challenging enough when your plate isn't full. It makes total sense that you would feel the way you feel. Your body is going through soooooo much and it can feel so isolating.
    I can promise you that you are not alone in your feelings of resentment and loneliness, guilt and judgment toward yourself. Go easy on yourself. If ever there is a time to have grace for yourself, it is now. I also just want to assure you that you aren't alone in these feelings, and you will feel better again one day. I If you are interested in resources, Postpartum Support International is a great resource with free groups for pregnant women - you can just show up and listen or share your experience if you feel so called.
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