Baby isn’t letting me put her down

knottiecb2972245354e69c

Hello all. I am a first time mom who is still learning. My baby was born at 35 weeks and is now 6 weeks old. She eats well and sleeps often however, I can never put her down. Every time I try to put her down she fusses and if I don’t carry her, she will proceed to cry. I’ve tried everything. I have a bouncy that she will stay in for a short time but will cry to be in my arms. She hates the Mamaroo. She has never slept in her bassinet or crib. She just won’t stay alone. I use to be able to have her in the Doc-A-Tot but now she hates that too. I’ve even tried a sound machine. She has to feel me next to her. I have to trick her when I want to sleep but she eventually notices I’m not right next to her and cries. Is anyone else going through this or has been through this? Is this something she will grow out of? I was told that once baby turns 3 months they start to be less fussy. Is this true? I love having baby in my arms but I know it’s not healthy for the future.

00kim00

Totally normal! This is referred to as the "fourth trimester" because you are just as linked with baby as you were when pregnant. Baby doesn't see you as a separate person. It starts to get better around 4 months (you may want to look at adjusted age, so it may be around 5 months for you). Get a comfy carrier and baby wear, and get help from your partner, family, and friends to hold the baby while you sleep. Best practice for safety is for baby to sleep in her own safe sleep space, unless you are awake, alert, and attending to her. That means, unless someone else is holding her, she's in her crib or bassinet when you sleep. Bouncers, Dock-a-tot, etc., should never be used unsupervised or while she's sleeping. This may mean letting her cry in her bed while you nap if you have no help!

Some people luck out and get babies who sleep. For the rest of us... it's hard! My baby would only sleep while held, preferably by me, for the first 4.5 months, then we sleep trained and now he sleeps in his crib at night (still contact naps, though). He finally started sleeping through the night a few nights ago, at 8.5 months. But those first 4 months, my husband and I took shifts overnight, and we used friends and family during the day when possible to get a break. I lived on 2 hours of sleep a day (maybe 4 on a good day) for over 4 months, and that's only when baby would tolerate someone else holding him. 

Don't think about the future. Your baby is very much a newborn, with no capacity to self soothe. Holding her now is not hurting her or setting yourself up for disaster later. Right now, you just need to get through it. At 4 months (adjusted), you can sleep train if you need to.

knottiecb2972245354e69c

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knottiecb2972245354e69c

I feel so much better reading your reply! It’s good to know that it’s not because I’m doing wrong. Thank you for your reply and advice

h1taylor

I completely understand what you are going through. My little one was born two weeks early, I too am a first time mom and we are experiencing the same, always needs mommy. It is reassuring to know we are not alone or doing something incorrectly. We got this girl!