May 2023 Moms
knottiefe75ed6cf2465cc0
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Worried about baby’s development
knottiefe75ed6cf2465cc0
member
My baby is 12 weeks old and I have been super anxious and worried about her social development since day 1. I’m a teacher and so I have worked with many children on the spectrum. I don’t mean any disrespect to any parent with a child on the spectrum , but my post partum anxiety seems to be fixated on my daughter being autistic and it has generated an unbearable amount of fear in me.
From day one, I was always overly focused on how much eye contact she makes. I feel like although she looks at us, it’s not enough. When she wakes up, I’m not always the first thing she looks at the way that babies smile at their parents. Even when she looks at me, she’ll look away right after or look up. She’s often focused on my mouth and that worries me too.
I spent many nights crying over her social smiling. She has started to smile but it is so inconsistent and lasts seconds. There are times when she smiles so big l when I walk over to her crib to pick her up and other times when she won’t even look my way. Sometimes I am trying so hard to get a smile but she looks stares or looks away. It breaks my heart.
Sometimes she will turn to my voice but often doesn’t. She is obsessed with looking at the black map on our wall and if I hold her when sitting in that area, the map is what she will always prefer to look at.
My mind is convinced that something is wrong and I am utterly heart broken. I love my baby so much but it feels like I’m mourning the child I envisioned. I feel awful saying that but it is what I feel. That my baby will never grow up to laugh with me, cuddle, show affection, make friends.
I’ve tried therapy, medication. Nothing works. The only time I feel ok is when she’s doing “normal” baby things. She’ll be so interactive and smiley for a few days then go back to worrying me. Idk if this is a me problem or if what I’m seeing is actually there. I really need some advice :(
From day one, I was always overly focused on how much eye contact she makes. I feel like although she looks at us, it’s not enough. When she wakes up, I’m not always the first thing she looks at the way that babies smile at their parents. Even when she looks at me, she’ll look away right after or look up. She’s often focused on my mouth and that worries me too.
I spent many nights crying over her social smiling. She has started to smile but it is so inconsistent and lasts seconds. There are times when she smiles so big l when I walk over to her crib to pick her up and other times when she won’t even look my way. Sometimes I am trying so hard to get a smile but she looks stares or looks away. It breaks my heart.
Sometimes she will turn to my voice but often doesn’t. She is obsessed with looking at the black map on our wall and if I hold her when sitting in that area, the map is what she will always prefer to look at.
My mind is convinced that something is wrong and I am utterly heart broken. I love my baby so much but it feels like I’m mourning the child I envisioned. I feel awful saying that but it is what I feel. That my baby will never grow up to laugh with me, cuddle, show affection, make friends.
I’ve tried therapy, medication. Nothing works. The only time I feel ok is when she’s doing “normal” baby things. She’ll be so interactive and smiley for a few days then go back to worrying me. Idk if this is a me problem or if what I’m seeing is actually there. I really need some advice :(
Re: Worried about baby’s development
I start working with babies typically when they're a few weeks to a few months old. Some of them we know have a high chance of autism due to family history or their own condition, so I'm on the lookout for signs early. Personally, the earliest I can see any divergence for kids who ultimately end up with an ASD diagnosis is 6-9 months, and at that point it's usually sensory or motor. Around 11 months is the earliest I've felt it very likely that a child was ultimately going to get an ASD diagnosis (and they did). If you're seeing signs before 6 months, then it's probably not autism. Even if it's before a year, i wouldn't think it likely, though it depends on what specifically you're seeing.
I hope this helps. I think in your case, PPA is the most likely diagnosis here, not ASD. I would continue to pursue therapy and maybe a different medication. And anytime you have concerns about your child, you can absolutely being it up to your doctor. Autism, however, isn't something they'll typically entertain looking at until at least 16 months (that's when they're old enough for the standard autism screening questionnaire, any younger and they'd "fail" because the red flags for older kids are typical development at that age)