The Big QUESTION Thread

hedgepig

What questions do you have? No question too small! Let's hear em!

hedgepig

TTM+ are there any items that you found useful for later kids? I was trying to think if there was anything that we'd put on a registry, but I honestly can't think of anything we would need, except for a new carseat. 

mrosek91

@hedgepig, there are things that I didn't get until later children, but not necessary that they would be better for later children, and more that I didn't know about them before. Things like the haakaa, and re-usable breast pads. 

My other boards did product spotlight threads, those might be helpful to start up.

hedgepig

@mrosek91 Yes, definitely! I remember those product spotlights being super helpful as a FTM.

k_simmons

baby jumpers/ activity table and high chairs are always one that help later on, that can be a little pricey. 

Registry i always add what we need, bc if you buy from your own registry Amazon at least will give you like a 15% off coupon, which helps with bigger items you may not have gotten! Plus they’ll send you a $35 baby box! 

At the end based off what’s purchased they may give you money as well. I think with my twins i got a percentage off everything i got. (That was 5 years ago and they’re my youngest two haha!) 

but i register for 
crib/ mattress
changjng table 
changing pad
baby bath 
wash cloths / towels
safety kit / nails thermometer etc 
then the frida baby kit - comes with the windi, the nose sucker and something else lol
stroller
car seat/ base (you may want to add an extra base for your SO’s or other family vehicle) 
high chair
floor play mat
baby jumper 
Baby swing 
i added a rocking chair/ glider type chair to nurse
a boppy pillow 
nursing supplies or formula stuff - bottle warmer, formula holder etc (depending on how you plan to feed babe) nursing bags, nursing pads, 
Baby bottles 
diaper bag 
burp cloths
swaddle blankets 
sound machine
clothes if you want or need clothes 
Furniture for nursery if you need furniture items. 

More Older baby/toddler stuff if you want to register - 

You could register for an outside baby swing. Not the ones they sleep in, but the ones you can hang from a playset or tree that you actually push them in! Those are so fun and last forever and apparently from my own children’s experience can fit even small 8 olds 😂😂😂

Toilet stuff for potty training 
a step stool for the restroom 
maybe one of those high chair things that your baby can stand on by the counter or table while you’re cooking. I spaced on the name. 😅
feeding stuff - spoons, plates, bowls, bibs
if you’re gonna make your own baby food you could register for that baby bullet 


just some ideas to help!  

amazon has a check off for their baby registries. So it’ll give you things you may want to look into for your list and mark off what you want / need or don’t! 

Insurance gives free breast pumps and parts / milk bags. If you didn’t know this! 

kaiyaangel

Learned, thanks

farm_mama

hedgepig said:

TTM+ are there any items that you found useful for later kids? I was trying to think if there was anything that we'd put on a registry, but I honestly can't think of anything we would need, except for a new carseat. 

A housecleaning service!

The two things that immediately come to mind and I am still using 11 years later are a BOB stroller I bought used, and a Tripp Trapp high chair that transitions into a big kid chair. We actually have two that are still used three times a day! My stroller has one million miles on it and I am considering a replacement this go round because the straps have completely broken off.

farm_mama

For those that are hoping not to announce for a while, what are you wearing to keep this secret? Any tips? Idk if it is because my starting weight was higher this time, or because it is baby #4, but it is very obvious and I am not ready for that!

mamacricket512

@farm_mama I was literally googling this the other night because I'm in the same boat, this is my 5th and my highest weight and I feel like it's so obvious with the bloat, just trying to wear loose fitting shirts and hope for the best.

fininevermore

Loose fitting shirts and shirt dresses if you can get away with it, flowy skirts and dresses, tunics and leggings are what I used to hide mine until I was ready last time. This time I’ve bought a few bottoms a size too big to deal with previous weight gain, and even though it wasn’t the original plan, I will use that to get through mid-September when I'm ready to announce (and finally get to buy my maternity wardrobe!)

k_simmons

Who is finding out their gender with the genetic screening tests? Does anyone know gender yet?

mrscarolynb

k_sims said:

Who is finding out their gender with the genetic screening tests? Does anyone know gender yet?

I am and couldn’t be more excited! I should know the results by August 28. 🥰 
My intuition says GIRL and I had some weird coincidences a couple days before I even knew I was pregnant where I kept seeing references to the girl name I picked out years ago (Ivy ❤️). 

Ramzi theory, Mayan Calendar theory, and Chinese calendar theory all collectively said BOY. Lol. We will see! 

hedgepig

@k_sims I have my blood draw next Wednesday, so we'll hopefully know 7-10 days after that!

kmw611

@k_sims I’m having the test done next week so hopefully shortly after that we’ll know🤞🏻🤞🏻I feel like it’s another boy though. 

k_simmons

Ahh!! That’s so exciting!! I think i remember a while back you could do polls on here. Wish that were still a thing, so we can see the percentage! A lot of people i know right now are having girls. I think it’s a girl! 

My next appt is 8/28 and they’ll do labwork and then a week or so after we’ll have ours. I’ll be like 12ish weeks by then. 

@mrscarolynb that is so funny! I had something similar. We hadn’t told our kids yet and we were watching a movie in my bed and one of my twins leaned towards my belly and says “BABY COME OUT” i was like WHAT? 😂 he said yeah, you have a little baby girl in your tummy! My older kids died laughing (twins are my youngest 5yo’s) and were like Waylon you’re so weird, mom doesn’t have a baby! A week later he drew a picture of my husband and myself as bears. I was “the big fat one and daddy is the little bit smaller one, bc you have that big baby girl in your tummy!” 

We have since told our kids and all he responded was, yeah, the baby girl. 

😂😂 it’s SO WEIRD!!! so I’m excited to see if he is right. 

When i was Pg with the twins it had taken us 6mo and the ongoing joke of our house is hubs hugs me and I’m pregnant. So is trying for 6mo felt like years. When i tested and it was positive i was so emotional i just ran into our room and yelled the news, my daughter was laying in bed with him, she got up, put her hands on my belly (no bump yet) and said baby 3&4. (We hadn’t even had a sono yet to confirm twins. I had just found out at 3 weeks.) 

The twins were babies 3&4 for us. 

I think that stuff is SO wild 🤣 

i love the name Ivy! 

So excited for all of you! 

Based on your other pregnancies If not a FTM, we’re your gender testing results accurate? 

All my kids have been thus far, but it’s always in the back of my head it could be wrong 😂 i hear so many stories like that but no one personally

mrosek91

@k_sims it's amazing how kids just know sometimes. When I was pregnant with DD before we told anyone DS2 (who was 3 at the time) told my MIL "G-d put a baby sister in my mommy's tummy for me."
The whole pregnancy he insisted it was a girl, and he was right.

fininevermore

Wow, kids are psychic. I want ALL the tests so I will find out sooner than later. I’m going to tell DS that I’m pregnant tomorrow and we’ll see what he says. 😊

fininevermore

So he didn’t have an immediate prediction; when I asked him to guess, he said girl. We’ll see if he’s right…

alexxajams

Ok so just looking for some feedback. Planning to get a second opinion. This will be my second, but OB says depending on previous C-section incision I may have to deliver between 36-37 weeks. Makes me super uneasy but curious to see opinions? Thank you! 

kmw611

@alexxajams I had a C-section with my first. When I tried for an HBAC with DS2 my midwife never mentioned anything about my scar and early induction. My OB now with this pregnancy has also said nothing about my scar. Honestly that would be a red flag for me with my provider, especially at 36 weeks since it’s not full term. 

megkudz

Third-time mom here - I am just over 11 weeks and I think I am having Braxton Hicks already. Is that a thing?
I’m getting these weird little rhythmic muscle spasms in my upper abs and after going “oh that’s weird” last night all of a sudden I thought…wait a sec!
Curious to hear if this has happened to anyone else. I remember the second time around I was getting them earlier than the first time, but I don’t think it was quite this early. (Edited to add - just fixed my username, now it’s megkudz)

knottie5e064e2a2fa8bd64

Yes 😊 Sneak Peak Test at home test can tell you at 6 weeks or later.

k_simmons

based solely off your comment i find that very odd and wouldn’t agree to anything before term. 

In ANY situation, without more info. You shouldn’t have questions or feel uneasy when it is regarding your care.

Now, AFTER reading your comment and just trying to fill in some spaces, is there anything wrong with your scar? Did it not heal a way he’d prefer? I’m just very confused on this practice. 

Delivery before term can cause need for neonatal care, breathing issues, etc. if he feels this is necessary, i would assume he would have also given the risks that apparently outweigh possible NICU care, and if not, THAT is where more of my concern would come from. 

For ex, when i had the twins my dr told me term is 36 weeks and i said i didn’t find that correct, did more research and found tons of women go further (if their bodies allow it). My dr allowed me to go to 38 unless i went into labor naturally, however, said i don’t want you going much further, because stillbirth rate in multiples increases significantly after 39 weeks and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take. Your baby will be viable by 38 wks and probably won’t have need for NICU time, but even if that is the case, I’d chose that over risking the stillbirth rates.

if both pros and cons were not given to you, I would not give consent to this. You obviously have a while to go to make any final decisions, but if you’re this nervous so far, it wouldn’t hurt to either get a second medical opinion, or switch entirely. 

alexxajams

@k_sims so my scar healed correctly, and very fast. I’m ok with C-section either way but I don’t like the idea of doing anything before 36 weeks. I messaged my previous ob ( we moved) to see what she would say. 

*additional note .. my uterus is heart shaped but the ob who did the C-section said it wouldn’t affect any future pregnancies or birth. 

lilmamabat

TW:high risk, pregnancy after loss
I have so many questions. My big ones right now are about pre-eclampsia. This is my first healthy pregnancy and I just started taking baby aspirin to prevent pre-eclampsia. I'm terrified. I'm due at the very beginning of March and this is my longest pregnancy so far.
 Is there anything else I can do to protect us against pre-eclampsia? Does anyone have suggestions for settling my stomach when it comes to aspirin? Does anyone who's already been through this have any tips to get past the fear and anxiety? Or success stories? The internet scares me honestly. 

hedgepig

@lilmamabat I don't have experience with pre-e, but was induced last time for rising BP, and this time I am worried about this as well. My BP is already on the high side, and I'm having twins, which increases risk. Do you have risk factors that make you particularly at risk for pre-e? I am trying to eat as many fruits/veggies as possible, and keep my sodium and caffeine intake low. Other than that I am trying to remember that stressing won't help (and may hurt), and that i largely have no control over whether or when I do develop pre-e, and it doesn't mean I have done something wrong. I know this isn't particularly reassuring, but know you are not alone!

alexxajams

I didn’t have that but I had a few friends who did. Best thing is to take it a day at time. Eat healthy, lots of water/coconut water and make sure when you are laying down, keep legs elevated to keep blood flow good. They also used compression socks. Just listen to your body. I hope it gives a tiny reassurance. 

mamacricket512

@lilmamabat
@hedgepig
I've been learning a lot about minerals lately and potassium is very important in the regulation of blood pressure. I've had issues with mine becoming elevated towards the end of pregnancy. I plan on incorporating plenty of potassium into my diet throughout this pregnancy to hopefully stave off any issues. Coconut water is a great source of potassium, but it is a diuretic, so you have to make sure you are drinking plenty of water along with it since becoming dehydrated can actually elevate your blood pressure. 

Mine was staying somewhat higher than I would have liked just in life in general and it lowered after I starting taking in more potassium. 

night_nurse

@megkudz you may need to log out fully and back in so your username updates. With my 2nd pregnancy I distinctly remember BH starting around 12 weeks. I brought it up to my OB and he blew it off. I ended up in preterm labor with cervical dilation on Magnesium and in the hospital for 3 days at 26/27 weeks. All that to say- i was not nearly hydrating enough, not emptying my bladder enough, and in general just doing way too much. I have felt it a little this pregnancy, but usually only after sex.

I would focus on the above thing if they are thing you need to work on and see if it helps.

lilmamabat

@hedgepig
@mamacricket512
Yes i have risk factors unfortunately. My Dr outlined several, including having had multiple previous mc. She was very straight forward with me. My BP is typically 110/70 so I have that going for me in the positive.

I appreciate the tips for potassium and things to settle my stomach and the support in general. It is nice to know I'm not alone. I'm so nervous, but I'm grateful to my Dr for letting me know right away that I'm at risk and prescribing aspirin to help prevent it. I haven't been consuming caffeine. I don't want to add any potential additional risk for me or baby.

dinomeetsjedi

@lilmamabat I had my first at 29 weeks due to preeclampsia. I had no risk factors (I was average weight, I was 30 at the time, my blood pressure is excellent pre and early pregnancy, no preterm babies anywhere in our families or high blood pressure, I do have a negative blood type though). I was not taking the low dose aspirin because I did not have any risk factors to do so. According to my MFM, the only thing supported by research that can lower your chances of getting preeclampsia is taking the low dose aspirin. It reduces your risk by 1/4. I have heard magnesium can make a difference but I also know people who took magnesium for other issues during pregnancy and still developed preeclampsia. Then again, you can also still get it with the low dose aspirin.

Preeclampsia is scary, but it is also okay, there is a good chance of still having good outcomes for you and for baby. I was not being monitored for it so I ended up having severe features and my baby was in a lot of distress by the time she was delivered. If you are being monitored (like it sounds like you are. It sounds like your doctor is very on top of it) There likely won't be super scary issues that arise, although you may have an early baby. Medical technology is amazing and even early babies can have great outcomes. All of that is to say, it sounds like you are in great hands and you are already doing everything you can to keep your baby safe. If you have questions about preeclampsia, early babies or what my medical plan looks like this time around, I am willing to answer anything you think will help ease some of your anxiety.

ceclarlinetlo

Does anyone have any thoughts about breast pumps? I had a medela PISA in 2017 and a spectra S2 in 2019. Not sure if I want to try something new. 

dinomeetsjedi

@ceclarlinetlo I exclusively pumped with my first and I had the Spectra S1 and I really liked it. It worked well for me and I think the suction stayed strong through the majority of my journey. I think the last couple of months I started to notice a difference in suction even if I changed my valves and stuff, but I was close to the end so I didn't care that much. But I probably pumped at least 10,000 hours by the time I quit so I can't be too mad. I think this time I'm going to try the Spectra Gold because pretty much everyone I've heard from loves it.

alexxajams

Ok so I have a few questions and forgive me for how long it might be lol. 

First who has used portable pumps (Elvie & Willow) pros and cons? I had Madela for the first one and I liked it but I know there’s an updated version I think.  

Who is/was a VBAC candidate? What questions did you ask? Did you do it? Did you go the route of C-section since you already knew what was going to happen? Anything you would’ve done different? Did you non medicate or medicate and how was that experience For you? 

Thank you !

ceclarlinetlo

@alexxajams I had an unplanned C section for my first delivery so I spent my entire second pregnancy thinking through whether I wanted to VBAC or not. We talked about it at almost every appointment. I decided on a set of criteria where I would feel comfortable trying to VBAC. My first delivery I was induced for having too much amniotic fluid and I had a fairly large baby with a giant head that hadn’t engaged when my induction started. For me to feel comfortable going for a VBAC I wanted to go into labor naturally, the baby be smaller and not have too much amniotic fluid. In the end I did go into labor naturally at 38+2. but I had already decided at 37 weeks to schedule the C section because I did make too much fluid again and at the time the baby was on track to be bigger than my first. He was actually 3 oz smaller but he was born more than a week earlier than my first so he would have been bigger if he stayed in. Healing from the planned C section went way smoother than when I fully dilated and pushed before an unplanned one. I’m choosing a repeat C section this time without trying for a VBAC. I know some providers are willing to let you try after 2 sections but I’m not interested. 

farm_mama

alexxajams said:

... 

Who is/was a VBAC candidate? What questions did you ask? Did you do it? Did you go the route of C-section since you already knew what was going to happen? Anything you would’ve done different? Did you non medicate or medicate and how was that experience For you? 

Thank you !

#1 was a planned C section because she was breech, but I went into labor before it was scheduled. Intake and surgery prep took 5 1/2 hours by which my water broke and I was actively laboring. My recovery was very rough. I don't handle medication well and was very groggy and confused. I had trouble keeping pain meds down. My hospital experience was not positive and overall I felt it really set me back as far as postpartum recovery.

I was a good vbac candidate due to overall health, babys health and size, and my incision site. My doctor agreed and was very supportive, but my rural local hospital won't allow vbacs. My doctor made arrangements for me to travel to another state. Fortunately I had an appointment with the out of state OB and decided to have my membranes stripped and stay overnight which worked. #2s birth was an unmedicated hospital vbac with no complications. My recovery was so much better and we made the drive home the next day.

#3 the hospital still wouldn't allow me deliver despite my incision site being 'proven.' I was concerned about the travel time and felt a home birth was safer than attempting to travel winter mountain roads in labor. I met with a midwife who was incredibly supportive and provide me with a ton of reliable evidence. (I am very much a data and facts person!) My labor couldn't have been smoother and wasn't long at all. My recovery was fantastic. The difference of being at home in my own bed was incredible. I had no idea I would feel so strongly about homebirth until I experience it.

Assuming neither baby or I have risk factors it will be a home vbac. If that changes I will try to make arrangements to go out of state again. I would only agree to another C-section in the event of an emergency. (In which case I absolutely would!)

I am very supportive of choice and people doing whatever makes sense for their situation. I am happy to answer more questions about any of my children's births if it is helpful.

alexxajams

@ceclarlinetlo thank you!  I definitely just feel super unsure.. I think I’m too scared even though the first time around I wanted an unmedicated birth but baby was breech then turned sideways. I wasn’t against C-section but I wasn’t bummed that didn’t get a vag birth either.. 

alexxajams

@farm_mama how did home birth experience go? I’m very curious but also just terrified of being a worst case scenario.. I was thinking about talking to a midwife to see if that would give me some peace of mind

ceclarlinetlo

@alexxajams If the reason for your c section was a breech/transverse presentation you’re a better candidate for VBAC than someone like me with failure to descend. 

kmw611

@ceclarlinetlo I had the spectra S1 with both DS1&2 and really liked it. I went back to work after DS1 and pumped nearly a year for him. With DS2 I stayed home so I didn’t pump much but still liked the S1. I felt like I responded well to that pump and liked the portability. I want to try an Elvie or Willow this time. I usually have a pretty decent oversupply so I would like to pump and donate what I can this time. 

@alexxajams I had an unplanned C-section with DS1 he was giant and got stuck. With DS2 we planned an HVBAC with an amazing midwife. After a very smooth labor FER kicked in before I was fully dilated and I just could not get him out around a cervical lip. We transferred after 30 hours to see if I was a candidate for an assisted delivery and was bullied by the hospitalist for 4 hours before I gave in and got the C-section. I’ll be trying for a VBAC again with a dr/midwife pair in another town at a different hospital as my experience with the local hospital with both my previous births was horrible. I would ask the dr about their C-section rates, vbac success rates etc, how they feel about intervention and when they would think it is necessary. Do they have a rule about going into labor on your own vs induction if you didn’t go into labor. Some drs will not allow you to go past 39 weeks or post dates before scheduling a CS. That would be a no go for me, I tend to go full term+. DS1 was born at 41+1, DS2 at 39+5. 

alexxajams

@kmw611  so with my first even though she was traverse, I was considered active labor stage 1 because I was 5cm when I got admitted. Technically “labored” for 22 hrs because emergency csections kept popping up and since I was fine I kept getting pushed back. I healed well and recovered well and it was overall a good experience. My current ob says there is a great chance the same thing could happen with this one but it would depend on bby being head down. I have a heart shape uterus so at some point, if baby didn’t flip when they had room, C-section will be the rout I go. If baby is head down, I’m honestly not sure lol. My ob is on board with either option and wasn’t pushy about doing a C-section right away. I did tell her I do not want to induce. But because of previous C-section I can’t go past 39 weeks. I had first one at 37+5 days