Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Early Miscarriage / Doctor office protocols

Hi,
I recently suffered an early miscarriage (6 weeks). As difficult as that experience was, the thing I’m struggling with the most to understand is the way I was treated (or not treated) by my OBGYN office. I’m wondering if my anger and frustration is justified or if I’m overreacting and the way my doctors office handled it is normal.

At a little over 6 weeks pregnant I started experiencing cramping and heavy bleeding. This was my second pregnancy and I just knew something was wrong. When I called my doctors office I was transferred to a nurse who told me that bleeding was common but just to monitor my symptoms and take another pregnancy test in a week, if the test is negative then I miscarried but if it’s still positive I should go to my normally scheduled pregnancy confirmation appointment (scheduled for when I would be 9 weeks). I asked her if I could come into the office to be seen by a doctor but she said they couldn’t do anything for me and if I was having any severe pain or bleeding I needed to go to the ER. I was not happy with this response but was too emotional to argue with her. I waited a few days and eventually called back because I had more questions and concerns. I was again transferred to the nurse and given the same generic guidance. I asked again to see/talk to a doctor. I even asked if they could schedule me for a telehealth call, but was again denied and told I’d have to go to the ER.

I’m trying to understand if it’s normal for doctors office to deny patients a chance to come into the office during an early miscarriage? I know it was early, and there’s not a lot they can tell from an ultrasound at that stage, but I really just wanted a chance to talk to my doctor to get a better understanding of what I was experiencing and what I should expect. Was the ER really my only option even though I didn’t feel like I was having an emergency?

Can anyone share their experience with their doctors office during a miscarriage? Should I be finding a new office?

Thank you

Re: Early Miscarriage / Doctor office protocols

  • ER is often a terrible option for an early MC, because the doctors aren't specialists, and they can't give you much information.  However, the nurses line is right in that if you are going to have a MC, there's almost nothing that can be done to stop it.  It's going to happen.  With the shortage of medical professionals at this time, they probably didn't want to put you in for an emergency appointment when they would have no control over the outcome.

    They are also correct in that many women experience bleeding in early PG and most of the time it doesn't mean anything and the PG turns out fine (I am NOT one of those women.  I've had 5 MC and bleeding always means my loss is starting). 

    However, they COULD have sent you to get Beta HCG BLood Quants.  The first number wouldn't have been that useful.  However, 48 hours later when you go in for the second test, you could see if the number is doubling (meaning that the PG is progressing as it should), or not (meaning, you may be headed for a MC).

    Again, I've had 5 MCs.  I was told with my first one that it's really 'common' to have a MC.  The second one I was dismissed as "don't worry, many women have 2 in a row and go on to have healthy babies.  Just try again."  The 3rd one I was told "It's really not a big deal, BUT since you're soooo concerned over it, we can refer you to an RE."  

    The reality is that women's health care, especially for early PG is severely lacking (in my opinion).  MOST PGs work out, nothing can be done to stop a MC that is going to happen, and most women don't understand enough about their own bodies to really understand what is (and supposed) to happen and since MOST PGs work out, doctors don't worry about it because insurance doesn't want to pay for early care.  And the doctors are right, statistically speaking, most PGs work out and aren't a big deal, and bleeding is common and blah blah blah.  Also, having 1 or 2 MCs (especially early) is common as well, and doesn't mean anything is even wrong.  But, being on the shyte end of statistics, means you're even more isolated and when you have these experiences, it seems VERY callous to be told it's "no big deal" and "common" and "don't worry" and "Just Try Again."  

    I will say that my nurses line was much better about answering my questions about what to expect.  But, as I'd had 1 MC with a D&C before my 2nd MC, which was natural... and I had beta HCG numbers drawn so I knew I was headed for another MC... I probably had a better idea of what to ask.  :disappointed:

    I'm sorry for your loss.  
    *TW All the Loss* #BitterHagPartyOf1

    October 2015 - 1st MC.  7-8 weeks along. Suspected molar PG, but luckily just a MMC.

    June 2016 - 2nd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

    September 2016 - 3rd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

    RE 1: ALL the testing - 'unexplained'  "Yinz can do IVF or try on your own"

    Feb 2017 - 4th MC: 6 weeks

    RE 2: More tests. Still 'unexplained.'  Called fat for an entire hour-long appointment, cried a lot

    Feb 2019 - 5th MC: 6-7 weeks

    IUD - March 2019-March 2023

    RE 3:  Repeat all the tests. Hoping to try IVF.

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