Parenting
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Do you think it's okay?

So recently I went to visit my 16 year old son and while I was there his mother walking on him while he was taking a shower and they started talking after a few minutes she left and I came up to her and I said what are you doing in here talking to him in the bathroom while he's naked I don't think it's right it doesn't send a good message and she said I was wrong and I was I had problems mentally I would just like to get anyone's opinion a response on if they think it's okay for mother to walk in and talk to their son while he's undressed thank you

Re: Do you think it's okay?

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    mamacjsaxmamacjsax Just Joined
    That's super creepy and her reaction makes it creepier.
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    Different families have different norms and expectations regarding nudity. For some families, after a child is 5 or 6 no one sees each other undressed. In other families, it's normal to walk around in underwear or even nude in the house no matter the age. I had friends in high school where this was normal. Even when I was a graduate student, I once shared a hotel room with my mentor and she came to brush her teeth in the bathroom while I was in the bath (behind the curtain, but it was still odd to me but normal to her). You seem to be alluding to something sexually inappropriate, but there was nothing sexual about it. I think a key point in your post were that they were talking- your son was not scandalized and shouting for her to get out, and nothing inappropriate was happening. As long as he's not uncomfortable, it's fine. If he's uncomfortable, he can lock the door and tell his mom he doesn't want her in there while he's showering. As for the message it sends - it says we're comfortable in our bodies and there's nothing to be ashamed of. 
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    I think it’s probably fine.  Maybe a little bit weird, but, assuming that the shower curtain was closed, I don’t think it was inappropriate.  

    It might be worth discussing with your son directly since he’s 16 and old enough to tell you how he feels about it.  I would caution you to not say anything condemning about it though, but rather just tell him that you feel like showers are private time and you want to make sure that he feels comfortable and like his privacy is being respected.

    Again, I don’t get the impression that anything untoward was going on.  And, as a boy mom, I can honestly say that she probably didn’t think anything of it.
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