Hormonal or Justified?

paladinpoe

I am 14wks and I've been staring at my almost 2yr old sobbing because I feel guilty being pregnant. I feel like I'm essentially "abandoning" him because I'm having another baby and it's breaking my heart. Sobbing my eyes out I text my hubs who is out of state my feelings and it texts back "-_- go to bed, you are ok." And it just really hurt my feelings. I felt so unsupported with my feelings as I am genuinely upset and struggling with these thoughts. Am I right in my feelings on being upset at his comment?

kiwimangohoneylemon

What!!! I definitely have started tearing up like 4 or 5 times about this a few weeks back but yesterday my husband started tearing up because it was just us with our toddler at the park. No puppy. No baby.  He was all emotional saying our toddler really only has q few months left for moments like this where it is just the 3 of us.

Watching that new trend on Instagram of how having a second has ended up has really helped me.

kiwimangohoneylemon

But I absolutely support you momma!! 

Apparently it is common to feel this guilt 😔 

I get torn about a lot of stuff like when my big one wants just mommy but now mommy might not be available etc.

mommy_times_2

Aww I felt the same way. I felt like I was selfish to want another baby when I have such a sweet little girl who now is going to have to share me / my attention, and it won’t be just us girls anymore. Change can be emotional and scary even if it is a wonderful change.
I would have been upset at the lack of emotional support too!

mamabeartoo3under3

It helps to remind yourself that most kids like having a buddy. I drive bus and you can tell the siblings pairs/groups enjoy having a sibling to hang out with at home. 

I felt same way you do right now when I was pregnant with my second but after seeing how much my now two year old enjoys her 10 month old sisters company I realize that the second doesn’t take away from the first’s quality of life but enhances it in a lot of ways. She has another person to play with and someone who idolizes her every move. 

knottiebc18a85539610cc3

I think giving your child a sibling is a loving endeavor. It teaches them that the world doesn’t solely rotate around them and teaches them to share with others. I have my first two 10 months and 3 weeks apart. They are in the same grade together. We do everything together with them. It has been a blessing. My husband and I are now expecting our third child together almost 11 and a half years later and the kids are excited to have another sibling. Having another doesn’t mean you’re abandoning one or that you love one more or less. Your heart finds a way to love them all equally. 

Emilyjenelle

I had similar feelings with my second but they got worse the first couple of days home when my then almost three years old was having meltdowns wanting mommy when I couldn't put him to bed bc of my C-section. But now they are best buddies and I can see that I was indeed giving him as good of a gift as I thought I was. I know we will have similar bumps w this third, but I know it will be worth it. As for hubby's response I get why it hurts, but try to remember that he really can't understand what the hormones feel like. He has been through your first 14 weeks with you and the ups and downs are so hard for them... Differently than for us but still tough. He has probably found that you feel better after a nap so just suggested that. He probably didn't mean to hurt you. Choose to take it as him giving you legit advise based on what he's observed.