Weekly Randoms • week of 6/11

UnwritteN12

ashsowers2020

I am so afraid of my toddler (turns 2 in august) somehow hurting the baby in my belly… he is so rough! He always is climbing, elbowing, or trying to stand on me. He doesn’t quite understand me when I tell him “no, you’ll hurt mommy and baby” and redirecting him is just not working… he keeps coming back. Any advice on how to get him to stop? And reassurance that baby is okay?? 

chrissdee

@ashsowers2020 For what it’s worth, I spent my entire 3rd pregnancy as a daycare teacher in the toddler room right up until the day before I delivered. Those kids were wild, and rough and hard on me, and I did what I could to help them understand there was a baby in there and they had to be gentle, but there’s only so much that does with little ones. I had them play with and take care of their baby dolls, we’d ooh and aah over any new babies coming to the center and I would reiterate that there was a baby in my belly and we’d have to play gently. 

Baby #3 was totally fine, and it was honestly my healthiest pregnancy and easiest delivery so far (I chalk that up to me being so active keeping up with 9 toddlers the whole time). He is now 3 years old and loves to play rough as well. I do have to constantly remind him he can’t jump on me, and he’ll say “Oh no, I’m sorry baby” and he’ll give my belly a kiss. lol

Your body will do a good job protecting the baby, but of course you want to minimize any direct hitting or kicking on the belly. 

makingbacon

@ashsowers2020 We’ve been through that stage a couple times with pregnancy, and we’re currently working through it with DS3 (16 months). What I have found works best is correcting the behavior once, and if that doesn’t work, I end the play/moment by setting them down on the floor and telling them that mommy can’t play like that or  *insert activity* hurts mommy so I’m not going to continue. It’s a hard age, but after a few times, they figure out the boundary. 

We are moving in the next couple of months, and I was so excited to find daycare that could take DS3 and baby. Then we toured it yesterday, and it was a train wreck. It was listed as a daycare center, and I guess technically it was, but their was only 1 lady running it. She had the most negative attitude, and then she told us about all the sick days/time off she had last year because of different things. We prefer centers, one reason being they close way less often than in-home daycares. Anyways, it was going to be a horrible fit, DH asked 1 question about curriculum, and we were out. We both looked at each other in the car, laughed, and said no. I have another option that I will tour next week, so fingers crossed it works, but yeah, it was bad lol. 

UnwritteN12

All 4 of my kids went to the same daycare over the past 9 years so they're well known there and we've become close with the director. DH called this week to see what their wait list was like just to avoid any issues when I go back to work. He was told there wouldn't be any wait. Well that just made my life easier! 

Also, I hit 20 weeks today. Let my little dance party commence. Even though this kid will be here between 37 and 38 weeks they're officially half-baked today! 

chrissdee

Hey y’all. Just a heads up that this post may be triggering for some regarding pregnancy complications. I’m not immediately sure how to use the spoiler thing on here but can edit my post later once I figure it out if necessary. I just wanted to give a fair heads up. Long story short for anyone who doesn’t want the details, baby girl could really use some prayers. 

I had my anatomy scan today and was hit with some news I wasn’t prepared for. Still trying to wrap my head around what the doctor was saying so forgive me if I don’t give a great explanation of what’s going on. My brain kind of stopped processing stuff that was coming out of his mouth once he said “hopefully we don’t have to deliver too early and hopefully the baby doesn’t demise in the womb.” Geez. I mean, I get he has to prepare me for the potential, but man. That wasn’t easy to hear. 

I’m still waiting for the doctor’s notes to be uploaded on my patient portal so I can better understand and process it, but as far as I understand it, the blood pressure issues I had early on in my pregnancy caused issues with the development of the placenta, which is causing issues with blood flow, basically pushing back against blood flow from the baby’s heart so that baby’s heart can’t really complete a full pump. Doc said he’s seen this kind of thing more around 28-30 weeks gestation and usually requires very careful monitoring and early delivery… but with me being only 20 weeks that’s not exactly an option just yet. There’s the potential that it can get better, but the doctor didn’t sound particularly optimistic about that. I will have to go back in 3 weeks for another scan to see what kind of progress is being made and at that point we can have a better idea of next steps. 

She’s also measuring a couple weeks behind, which I was actually prepared for. All of my babies have measured behind but were all otherwise healthy. 

The good news here is I’m in the best hands medically. The MFM docs are top notch and I’ll be delivering at the hospital with the best birthing center and NICU in the area if it’s needed. I’m trying hard not to stress. 

UnwritteN12

@chrissdee - Oh hun, I'm really sorry you're going through this I know this can't be easy but it's definitely reassuring that you're in great hands with your MFM. Sending hugs and prayers for you and baby girl. Take it easy and know we're here for you. 🩷🩷

varimama

@chrissdee I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Thinking of you and sending all the positive thoughts your way! 

runsoncoffee

@chrissdee that is so scary to hear, I'm so sorry! I am praying for you and your baby girl.

makingbacon

@chrissdee Oh that is so scary! We are praying hard for you, baby girl, and your family. I’m so glad you have a fantastic group of doctors/support during this time. We are here for you. 

fitandnerdy

@chrissdee I'm so sorry,  I'm sure that was a lot to take in and process. I'll be thinking of you and your baby girl and hope you get positive news in 3 weeks. I'm glad you have a great team of MFM working with you 

chrissdee

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I was definitely thrown for a loop yesterday.

I spoke with my MFM nurse today and got some clarification/better understanding of the situation. The actual term for what’s going on is “absent end-diastolic flow”. I’m trying not to Google it too much because it’s just stressing me out. The nurse said it’s not impossible that it will get better, but honestly it’s not likely. She said the two more likely options are it will stay the same or get worse.

Since we’re not at the point of viability just yet, we’re limited in what we can do at the moment. That’s why we’re waiting 3 weeks before the next ultrasound. If it gets worse between now and then, she said I can expect to get steroid shots during the 23rd week to help Evie’s lungs develop faster in preparation for delivery during the 24th or 25th week. 

If it stays the same, then I can expect biophysical profile ultrasounds (BPP’s) every two weeks to monitor her growth and other progress closely and keep her in as long as safely possible, and it will just be a waiting game at that point. She said either way, I need to go ahead and have my hospital bag packed and in my car at all times starting now, and be prepared for an extended NICU stay. 

She said depending on how small baby is when we have to deliver, or if she is in distress at the time, we may have to do a c-section. That would be a first for me. Any advice from experienced c-section or NICU moms is definitely welcome. 

UnwritteN12

@chrissdee - I've only ever had c-sections. It's not so bad. Healing time is longer generally. But all in all it's been a positive experience. The hardest thing for me was not getting to hold any of my babies right away. I feel like that's something you might have to emotionally prepare for. DS2 and DD2 were both in the NICU for a couple days for breathing issues. The nurses were amazing. But it's hard. You want your baby there next to you in your room and you just want to hold them and make sure they're OK. It's really hard when you know you need to go rest but have to leave your baby in the NICU. At the same time, you know they're in the best hands possible.

Glad you got some clarification and understanding on the situation. DON'T GOOGLE. Google is NOT your friend, particularly when youre trying not to stress out. I'm sure you know that though. Hang in there. I'm sure Evie is a strong little fighter! Sending all the prayers, hugs and good juju your way. 🩷

stevieraem

@chrissdee im so sorry.  I can’t imagine how you just be feeling right now. I am praying for you, baby girl, and your support team! Hang in there momma!

jvbirdgirl

@chrissdee I'm so so sorry to hear this news. How upsetting and scarey for you and your family. I'm thinking of you and Evie so much. I'm so glad you have a great medical team and a plan forward. You are doing amazing and you are so strong. We are all hear behind you for support. Keep us updated as to how you and Evie are doing. Sending love. 

Kiek

@chrissdee big hugs. I have a medically complex child who spent time in the NICU. Sending all the love and prayers for you and your sweet baby. 

mamanbebe

**lurking** @chrissdee I am sorry you have this added stress during your pregnancy. I had a somewhat similar issue, called an umbilical vein varix, with one of my children. It was not discovered until much later but also required regular monitoring of the blood flow via ultrasound at my MFM (I also had GD), but we did make it until 38 weeks. I hope you and your LO have the best possible outcome  

shinyobjects

@chrissdee I am so sorry you are going through this. I’ve only had csections, my daughter was in the NICU for a short stay for breathing and growth issues. C-sections aren’t so bad, but the recovery is longer. It’s especially hard with other kids at home, but it just means your husband will have to do more of the lifting for longer. Random advice-peri bottle is such a good friend post C-section, unless you want to invest in a bidet attachment, which I also highly recommend. Also if you start working on rolling to your side and getting up sideways from lying down now, that will help too. Made it much easier to get out of bed myself once I had that down.

 Honestly having my first in the NICU was something of a blessing in disguise. The nurses are so kind. Someone gave me the advice to just “listen to everything the nurses say and watch what they do” and I basically used that as a guide when we took baby home, it really helped me with those first time mom nerves and questions. But I also didn’t have anything to compare it to. 

I had preeclampsia, so extra monitoring and the bimonthly bpps. Just a heads up that the steroid shots really burn. It’s worth it knowing it will help babe, of course, but just a warning they are not fun. Also from a fellow high risk mom-are weekly bpps an option? I know you’re not there yet, but when it comes time, might be worth checking if it’s a possibility. Might help with your peace of mind/to catch something earlier, unless they really feel bimonthly is better. Sending you so much love and prayers for Evie and the best possible outcome. ❤️❤️❤️