Coping with pregnancy loss and TTC after?

lilmamabat

I hope this is the right place to reach out. Please let me know if I should check out a different board too.
We just miscarried at 5 wks after 2 previous ones at about 4 wks over the past couple years. This has been especially hard bc we were told everything seemed good a couple days before and I just had a bad feeling. They ordered HCG bc of my concern and confirmed it was dropping.
We were told that we might have luck ttc in the first 3 months, and some people find they get lucky that way. Our Dr told us that current research shows if there's no complications,  it might even be easier to concieve and have a successful pregnancy. I've never heard this before. 
Has anyone ever had luck with this? How did you cope with the mix of emotions and keep hope? I'm all over the place emotionally.

stormageddon-darklordofall

Honestly, I think your doctor is giving you false hope based upon an old wives tale.  Lots of women come in here spouting the misnomer that you're "supposedly" VERY fertile in the first 3 months following a MC.  I call bull on it.  I don't think there's any scientific information to back that up ("current research"  HA!  If your doctor is SO SURE, I'd love the citation of the 'research' they used to tell you this).  What I do know is that some people attempt PG super early when they aren't emotionally ready yet, and end up with another loss and are devastated.  Other people (myself included) take HOPE in the "I'm super fertile in first 3 months following a MC!" and then are unbelievably wrecked when they aren't one of the 'lucky ones' to get PG during that time and wonder what's wrong with them.  Then wonder if your MC chance is HIGHER because you didn't *luck* into that 3 month window.  And you know what, I don't think it makes a darn bit of difference.  I've had 5 MCs, and I've gotten PG within 3 months, and I've gotten PG months later... and I still lost them all the same.  

What your doctor SHOULD do with you having 3 losses, is to refer to you to a Reproductive Endocrinologist for testing.  Keep in mind that the figures are about 50% of people with Recurrent Pregnancy Loss never finding out why we lose our babies.  But I did the testing and I'd do it again if I had a choice, because even though I'm in the "Unexplained RPL" category, I like knowing that I did the testing and that I wasn't just losing baby after baby for some reason that I could have done something to stop it.