My three year old hates people.

mybimba

She does not like any people except me, her dad, grandparents. She doesn't like people approaching her. And worse, she doesn't like other kids. Arggghhh

Her father thought it was a brilliant idea to put her in daycare a few times a week to socialize her. It backfired spectacularly. She wouldn't play or cooperate. Third day when we picked her up, she hysterically threw herself to my feet. I grabbed her up thinking someone was mean to her but no, she didn't like the place or the people. She shrieked the rest of tbe night. Awful because she is not a crier. I just cuddled her and reassured her all night. She finally fell asleep. Come morning she freaked cos she thought she had to go back. I calmed her and told her she didn't have to.

Daycare suggested she might be austistic but the therapist said absolutely not, she just has a difficult personality and genuinely doesn't like people. We were told this is quite common and she could grow out if it in a few years. Dad got chewed out because he kept insisting on trying to socialize her.

She warmed up to my cousin (who lives in another country!) and hopped in his lap within an hour. And he doesn't even like kids but she loves him. Lol. She takes time to warm up to people.

Anyine else have a kid that hates people? Lol

j-redd222

My daughter was not a fan of people to begin with, she started warming up to certain people around 2 but I believe it was mainly because I did not let anyone touch her when she didn’t want to be touched, if she didn’t want to spend time with someone I told them to leave her alone and I did not allow for any unwanted contact even when it hurt the feelings of my family. That was a personal choice for me because of certain body autonomy issue I had and that I didn’t want my daughter to struggle with as well. She would mean mug people all the time and when people came up to her to talk she would run straight to me. They were being kind and friendly but she just wanted no part in it. I over supervised all play time with friends because of it and made sure that fair solutions were made to problems during play time- at first there were many. She started liking other kids more when her little sister was born. They are a year and a half apart and she is obsessed with her, absolutely adores her. From their relationship, she has learned more to share and interact with kids and for the adults that respected her space, earned her trust and were consistently kind to her, she has started to love as well. There are still certain people she can’t stand- her aunt for one because she doesn’t respect space and makes unkind ‘jokes’ when she doesn’t get her way not realizing my daughter understands quite a lot of them and now just thinks she’s rude. In my experience, your daughters comfort is important and forcing situations that make her uncomfortable probably won’t help. What really helped my daughter was knowing that myself and her father were her advocates and we were there to protect her from situations that made her uncomfortable. This helped her to have more trust in us when we told her that certain people were friends and they were safe. It’s been helping her warm up to people much more. Best of luck with your baby girl! 

knottie2f13889f1a536d49

My kid has the same situation who doesn't like people and doesn't paly with orther kid and doesn't like people to touch him. But sometimes he even like some of my relatives at his first sight.

knottie0b7254139443fe80

Hard situation. While I understand it is important to comfort her and be understanding of her feelings towards others, I don't think allow her to withdraw completely from daycare/other children is the right course of action - it will probably make it worse. Does she have siblings? If not, she probably just isn't used to interacting with other children,  but it is something we all had to learn. How to share, make friends etc. Will just take time but she will get used to it eventually.