NEEDING SOME MENTAL HEALTH ADVICE

arthurd

Hi all,

New here and hoping someone can help.

I'm a first time dad, just under two weeks ago. Pregnancy was great, nice and smooth, lowest of risks so we planned accordingly. Upon going into labour everything followed suit, nice and smooth, right until the end. We were rushed into theatre for a forceps delivery and spinal block. This was such a shock to us both as we were not expecting it and went against everything we wanted and hoped for.

Even so, both mum and son are doing well post op.

As expected in the coming days, lots of family have been and gone to the point where we are now getting into a "new normal".

As each day goes by, I am feeling more useless, lower in confidence, more emotional, less interested in the outside world and in other activities and am starting to dread when the little man wakes up for a feed or change. Saying this though, when I throw myself into doing the tasks it all goes well and everyone is happy, I just feel anxious at the thought of it.

I think this started when he had his first "meltdown" and we struggled to calm him down, I was exhausted from a night shift and couldn't cope.

Has anyone experienced anything like this or have any tips of advice that may help?

Thank you

Wishilivedinflorida

Hi there new dad! Congrats and you are doing great. You are being a supportive partner, which is the first crucial step. I’m sorry the birth was traumatic for you and your partner. While your symptoms are concerning for sure, she is newly PP and this all may just be the shock of everything and getting used to life with a newborn. Newborns are hard, especially for the first 6 weeks. That being said, if your symptoms persist into another week or escalate (or you have thoughts of harming yourself or others) you should definitely get checked for PPD/PPA. It can occur in fathers as well and can be treated. 

Hang in there! I’m 7 weeks pp and things are SO much better with baby. Yours will get into a groove and you and your partner will learn how to soothe him and what his specific needs are. When he gives you that first little on purpose smile it’ll make all the hard stuff worth it. 

Good luck. But seriously please seek help sooner than later if this doesn’t get better soon.