Pregnant with 3rd baby. stress in relationship

I am 25 Years old and a stay at home mom. I have two daughters. My oldest is 4 years and youngest is 7 months. I Just recently I found out we are expecting our 3rd baby. My husband and I have been having a rough time getting along, we almost ended things but I found out I’m pregnant. Neither one of us were ready for a 3rd so soon or for a 3rd at all. My husband suggested terminating the pregnancy but I would never be able to live my life wondering what could of been. We decided to try to work things out and he told me he would forever take care of me and his children. We have been together for 9 years and been together since high school. We love each other but I still feel a lot of tension. Since I started my journey of motherhood I lost sight of who I am. I miss my husband and the laughs we use to have. I want to become my own person again and want my husband to see me again for me. We love our daughters deeply they are the best girls. But this pregnancy is taking a toll on our marriage. I want this baby I just am scared I will lose myself even more I don’t want to get lost from who I truly am. How do I find myself and how do I help my husband prepare for baby #3 ?

Re: Pregnant with 3rd baby. stress in relationship

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    I think part of finding yourself is letting go of who you used to be and the thinking that eventually you will get back to that. Maybe there’s parts of who you used to be that you can carry on to your future self but you are a new person and you should embrace that. Sit down and write out your values and the type of person you want to be. Write your needs down for your husband and get him to write down his. And then figure out what you need to do to be that person. It’s futile waiting for things to go back to how they used to be, they never will, but you can have a fun bright future ahead of you! It’s hard though, no doubt.., you’re also in the middle of a hurricane! Kids the age you have is insanity and chaos. We also had a third baby that was a surprise the same age apart as you …and man… it’s hard! But those two are so close now and it’s gotten so much better, try to remember that it’s a season and that you can do it! And reach out for help when you need it. 
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    As a first time mom here with a 5 month old! Times get hard I can imagine what u are going through it’s hard and tough having 3 kids so close by but trust me when u feel u can’t do it take a deep breath go for a walk take 1 minute and tell urself I got this!! At the end of the day it’s all worth it! You have a bright new future and a totally new you!!  U don’t need to lose urself u just have to embrace the new one!! Every day is a new day make it the best u can momma ❤️
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    mamabearcaremamabearcare Just Joined
    As a first time single mother I can relate and I just want to say you are doing great!

    Take time for yourself: Being a stay-at-home mom can be overwhelming, and it's important to take some time for yourself to recharge. Whether it's taking a long bath, going for a walk, or reading a book, make sure you prioritize self-care.

    Communicate with your husband: It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner. Talk to him about your feelings and concerns, and listen to his as well. Work together to find solutions and compromises that work for both of you.

    Prepare for baby #3 together: Start planning and preparing for the new baby together. This can be a great way to bond and work on your relationship. Discuss things like baby names, nursery decor, and who will take care of what once the baby arrives.

    Seek outside help: If you feel like you need additional support, consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist. They can provide a safe space to talk about your feelings and offer guidance and support.

    Remember, it's okay to ask for help and take time for yourself. Take things one day at a time and prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your family.

    some tips that may help your relationship with your husband:

    Communicate openly and honestly: Communication is key to any successful relationship. Talk to your husband about your feelings and concerns, and listen to his as well. Be open and honest about what you both want from the relationship and work together to find solutions.

    Show appreciation: Make sure to show your husband that you appreciate him. This can be as simple as saying thank you or doing something nice for him. Showing appreciation can help build a stronger connection between you both.

    Spend quality time together: Make time for each other and prioritize spending quality time together. This can be as simple as going for a walk or watching a movie together. Spending time together can help strengthen your bond and build a stronger relationship.
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    Do you have family close by that can help with babysitting so that you and hubby can prioritize repairing and reconnecting with one another? Parenting is HARD and the two of you are still young — honest communication will help the two of you identify the disconnect and maybe even strengthen your relationship. 

    I will say this, this is not an invitation to lose yourself further to make your marriage work. You sound like an exceptional mom, partner, and woman — stand on that and if this is to work, he also has to make the commit to show up even if he doesn’t always feel like it.
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