Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

4 week MC

Hi everyone.

I just had my first miscarriage at 4 weeks and it was my first pregnancy ever. I’ve never had a positive pregnancy result until this pregnancy. We weren’t actively trying to get pregnant either. I’ve been having a hard time conceptualizing what happened. It’s hard at 4 weeks as I’ve really only known i was pregnant for a week or so. My husband and I were very excited and told our family when we found out since it was our first. We won’t be doing that again.

I feel kind of dumb for telling family and getting excited, I didn’t understand miscarriage in its full capacity. I’ve learned a lot but am also grieving - it’s been a week full of prepping mentally being pregnant, reading books, thinking about names and plans for things.

For context - My HCG was 22.9, then two days later 28.6 - four days later I started to bleed heavily and went to the ER, my HCG dropped to 13.1 and they let me know I miscarried.

Seeing babies and children right now is hard. I want to try again but I just feel like it’s hard for other people to understand grieving a loss this early. Everyone keeps saying “at least it wasn’t at 8 or 9 weeks” etc. my husband also is upset but I don’t feel like he feels at the same capacity I feel this loss.

Just looking for support / advice if anyone experienced similar.

Re: 4 week MC

  • Hi,
    People who haven't experienced a loss can't understand what you're going through. And sometimes even if they have they still don't understand.
    I have had a loss at 4 weeks seven different times. And I feel it every single time! I cry for the life that might have been every single time!
    (Don't take my situation as normal. I have health stuff that make it difficult for my body to balance hormones. So amidst the joy I do have, I've experienced a lot of loss.)
    These feeling of grief and loss you have are real and valid! For those beautiful few days you had a perfect little life growing within and the loss of that hope for a new future is devastating. 💔
    As far as telling family, don't beat yourself up over it. You were excited and wanted your family to share in your joy! No one can fault you for that! It is true that it's easier not to have to go back to them and say never mind, I lost the baby. But my little sister pointed out to me recently that if you don't tell anyone then you have no one to be there for you when you're grieving (in the case where the pregnancy does fail).
    So, I would suggest telling those whom you know will be there for you emotionally no matter what happens. 💕💕💕
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