Pregnant after Loss

sbaby2023

Hi All,

I wanted to start this discussion string because being pregnant after losses can be so hard I thought it might be nice to have a place to talk about it. 

I have experienced a chemical pregnancy in August and then a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks in November. I am so happy about this latest positive (due around November 15) but I am so nervous about another loss. I am over analyzing every symptom and am still tracking my bbt hoping it won’t drop. It feels like forever until my first ultrasound (April 10th). I wish I could just relax and enjoy being pregnant! Anyone else feeling this way

sambo0423

Mc in 2012, Mmc last September, surprise bfp this afternoon! I really don't feel anything yet ... Which I might prefer over anxiety, but like you, wish I could just be excited! let me give it a day & see if anything sinks in. 

shinyobjects

I had a stillbirth a year ago January. I have in some ways spent the past year preparing myself for the anxiety I knew I would have if I ever got pregnant again, but now that it’s here, it’s not quite what I expected. Although every day is different. I’ve read a lot about mantras like “today I am pregnant”. “Different pregnancy, different day”, etc, but those really only go so far. You are definitely not alone-I also wish I could just be excited, but I know that’s not ever going to be a reality for me, so instead I just try to breathe deeply and enjoy this day. I can’t worry about tomorrow…or so my husband says. Ftr that’s total bs and I spend tons of time worrying about  everything until my next appointment (I did ivf so on the plus side I do have a shorter space between appointments). Staying busy helps keep my mind off of it, but I know it’s going to be a loooooong 8 ish months (I’m 5 weeks tomorrow). Also I think regular PAL check ins might help us all! 🤍

Kiek

Yeah it’s definitely all the mixed emotions for me. MC in 2015 at 9 weeks. Then two chemicals last year. My youngest child is 7 and she was born medically complex with severe special needs due to a freak genetic blip. This baby is a surprise. I’m just taking it one day at a time right now. 

sbaby2023

I am sorry for everyone loss! it is nice to hear that I am not alone in these feelings because I have started to feel l a little crazy. @shinyobjects my husband says the same thing but it seems impossible not to think about the future. I am 5 weeks 1 day so I am also getting the feeling it is going to be a long 8 months of worry (probably followed by a lifetime of a different type of worry)

sambo0423

My first HCG betas came back this morning. Qualitative: positive for pregnancy. Quantitative: <2.4 (anything below 5 is considered *not* pregnant). My new OB brought me in right away to redo the lab test since the results conflicted. Waiting to see if there was a lab error or if this is possibly chemical. So stressful but nothing to be done except wait and see. 😩

ridedatide

This is my 5th pregnancy. My first loss was in Oct 2016 then had my daughter Dec 2017 we tried conceiving when she was 1. Had no luck. Then during April 2019 I found out I had cancer. So we had to stop trying for almost a year. We started trying again once I was given the all clear but had no luck until last year after waiting for over 6 months to get in with a fertility specialist I found out I was pregnant in June then had a loss at the end of July and another loss in December. We are hopeful this will be the one.

sbaby2023

@sambo0423 good luck with your next Beta, that is so stressful. I hope it ends up being just fine!

@ridedatide that is a long journey I hope this is your 🌈 baby after all that!

This morning I had some light spotting. I know this can be normal in early pregnancy but am still freaking out a bit. I took another test and it is still very positive. Trying not to think about it to much as there isn’t anything I can do. 

sambo0423

My new numbers came in this morning at 97. Helluva difference from 2.4! So it seems there was a lab error initially. One step forward. 

I hope you're able to find some peace through this process, but I know easier said than done. My husband said that I can't seem to take in preliminary news at a steady pace, I'm either way up or way down with the slightest event. I don't know how not to be, though. 

reauxmarie

I've had three losses in addition to trouble conceiving, had given up, wasn't trying anymore and then surprise! Trying really hard to not worry too much, but its hard. I have no other kids, I just turned 40 so this is kinda my last shot. Also stressing about my quantitative HCG stuff because it went up but didn't double. Still in the normal range, but my doctor seemed concerned. 

Crappy club we belong to, but I'm glad we're not alone!

ridedatide

@sbaby2023 FX for you. I hope this little one sticks. Positive talk to that baby. It will settle you and make you feel better. Hard not to feel upset when we see things that remind us of losses.

ridedatide

@reauxmarie I hope this time is your time!!! I responded to you in your other post incase you miss it. I would not worry about them doubling every 48 hours I know at some point they start to slow down. Keep thinking positive. 

ridedatide

@sambo0423 it's hard not to be way up or way down. I keep talking to my belly and telling baby you are loved and we want you. Sounds silly but it helps me feel better. 
Are you going to be tested again? How far along are you? 

sambo0423

ridedatide said:

@sambo0423 it's hard not to be way up or way down. I keep talking to my belly and telling baby you are loved and we want you. Sounds silly but it helps me feel better. 
Are you going to be tested again? How far along are you? 

@ridedatide I'm 4w5d. I'm going to speak to the OB Monday morning about next tests. I'm just relieved to be in the normal range.

sambo0423

Unfortunately I'm out this round. My HCG has been dropping rather than rising. Since it's mc #3, I'll finally get evaluated to try and find a cause. Wishing you all the best!

Kiek

@sambo0423 I’m so sorry! Hugs to you

ridedatide

@sambo0423 I'm so sorry I hope that they can figure out what exactly is happening and you are able to be successful in the future.

makingbacon

@sambo0423 I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find answers to what is happening. 

mrsmtothek

@sambo0423 oh I'm so sorry. I hope you find clarity in your healing so you can get to the bottom of things. All the hugs

sbaby2023

@sambo0423 I am so sorry you are going through this again. I hope your tests come back with some answers

babette-ate-oatmeal

Went to our 12 week scan last May to find a baby who’s heart had stopped. We had a really hard time processing it. We decided to try again 5 months ago, and this cycle I said maybe we should consider it our last. We got pregnant, I’m so happy but so anxious. My husband talks about the addition and shopping sales, but I don’t think I can. I feel sick and I tell myself everything is okay until told otherwise, but I’ll feel better when I feel regular kicks.. maybe? 

Happy to not be alone. 

knottied6cee48d1c928d63

So glad to have found this forum! I had a miscarriage in Oct and I’m expecting again. Guessing I’m around 5-6 weeks and just terrified of every bit of moisture down there keep looking for blood. I was 40 when I had my DD in 2020 and now I’m 43 so there’s a whole new level of anxiety. Hoping to stay as calm and relaxed as I can until my first appt on 4/18. Any older mamas here?

jemcd_2

I know they can be unpopular (and controversial), but I loved renting a fetal doppler for my last pregnancy (a pregnancy after loss, where there was no heartbeat at the 12 week scan). It gave me so much peace of mind until I could feel kicks. I’d recommend them to everyone who needs the added peace of mind. I’m looking forward to renting one again this pregnancy.

varimama

@jemcd_2 I actually bought a fairly cheap one for when I was pregnant with my second! It’s a Baby Doppler by Sonoline B. I want to say it was like ~$50 but that was 4 years ago. It definitely worked and helped so much with my anxiety! 

sbaby2023

@jemcd_2 @varimama I have heard about these and considered them. Are they easy to use? I feel like I wouldn’t know where to “look” for a heartbeat

ridedatide

I would caution the use. I remember when I was at my doctor's office and she was unable to find the baby's heartbeat with the fetal doppler. I started to freak out in the office. She rushed me right over to the ultra sound room and was able to see everything was ok. My daughter placenta was hiding her heartbeat.

varimama

@sbaby2023 mine was really easy, it comes with directions and gel, also I think there are YouTube videos that can talk through it too. Especially early you’ll want to put it lower than you think, like where those ultra low rise jeans of the 00s sat 🤣! Also keep in mind they only work from around 10 weeks on, sometimes not until later depending on the brand. 

trish0432

I had a missed miscarriage in late 2021 (my first pregnancy). Post that I developed endometriosis and had surgery to remove the cyst. However, I got a positive on a pregnancy test last week! My gynac suspected it to be ectopic because of the immense pain I was having. Got an early ultrasound at 5w2d and it isn’t ectopic. In my US, we couldn’t see a fetal pole. So I am very nervous and anxious!

Kiek

My last was so hard to find on the Doppler. She would swish away every time my midwife found her 😂. We always spent so much time rooting around for her each appointment lol

makingbacon

@ridedatide I had a similar experience with DS3. He liked to hide super low in my pelvis, and she couldn’t find him. The time between that moment and the ultrasound 15 minutes later was hell.