1st Trimester

Announcing 2nd baby to family?

Hi everyone, 
I was looking for advice and general support on telling my parents that me and my fiancé are expecting another baby. (We both are 27 years old).
We just found out, and haven’t gotten to our ultrasound and blood work yet. We had been struggling financially for a few months and weren’t planning this pregnancy, but are overjoyed and excited. My family had recently made a comment about not being ready for another baby, so I’m scared they will be disapproving and lecture me. Any advice for handling this or discussing this with them? 

Re: Announcing 2nd baby to family?

  • You can go a number of ways with this, but it kind of boils down to whether you think you can afford a baby or not.

    a) it’s none of their business and you’ll make it work.
    b) they are right and you need help coming up with a plan, in which case one of them may be able to help you find resources.

    It may not even be an issue and have been an off handed remark and they will be overjoyed.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • kyfol1695  Honestly, my sister can't afford her 2 kids (both under 2).  But after my 5 MCs and no living children, my parents were overjoyed to have grandchildren, and even though my dad though her having a 2nd child was the dumbest-ass thing he'd ever heard of and he was pissed they are so irresponsible, he keeps his mouth shut, and helps out babysitting and taking care of shyte for them.  As 'best aunt ever' I buy the kids tons of stuff, because ATM they're the only babies I may ever have to dote on besides my dogs.  So, comments are comments, but if your family is about 'family' then they'll be there to help and support when it really matters.  And like my sister, you'll figure out how to make it work and pay the bills or cut your own expenses where they need to be to make it work for the babies.
    *TW All the Loss* #BitterHagPartyOf1

    October 2015 - 1st MC.  7-8 weeks along. Suspected molar PG, but luckily just a MMC.

    June 2016 - 2nd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

    September 2016 - 3rd MC: 4-5 weeks CP

    RE 1: ALL the testing - 'unexplained'  "Yinz can do IVF or try on your own"

    Feb 2017 - 4th MC: 6 weeks

    RE 2: More tests. Still 'unexplained.'  Called fat for an entire hour-long appointment, cried a lot

    Feb 2019 - 5th MC: 6-7 weeks

    IUD - March 2019-March 2023

    RE 3:  Repeat all the tests. Hoping to try IVF.

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  • Just adding here that you are not obligated to tell them anything yet. You have time to think how you want to approach this and discuss with your family before it becomes obvious. And it takes 9 months to grow a baby…lots of time to make some financial/job moves as needed. 
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