Jr’s and II

songsboutjane

Hey!! Need some advice. I’m 10 weeks in. We don’t know the gender yet but are having a disagreement on boy names. My boyfriend wants to name it after himself and I don’t think it’s a good idea. I want my son to have their own name. He’s already getting his last name. This is bothering me so much I’m posting about it at 5am smh 🤦🏽‍♀️ Any advice?

dobiemom11

My son, husband, and FIL all have the same first and last names, but they each have a unique middle name. My husband goes by his middle name to differentiate him from his father (when his dad was still alive).  When we found out we were having a boy, we wanted to name him after my FIL who passed away.  We thought we would call our son by his middle name (like my husband), but he goes by his first name.  

Perhaps that is a solution (either a unique middle name or calling him by the middle name), but it sounds like your boyfriend takes pride in the junior status and that might be a hard sell.  I know it is difficult, but maybe wait to find out if the baby is a boy/girl before discussing further.  It may be a non-issue or it may just give you both some time to think about the other's point of view on names. Good idea to come and get some ideas on how to handle it though in case you need to.  

00kim00

First, you should both like whatever name you pick; you both get veto power. So if you're totally against it, it's time to move on. That said, there are other options:
-my son's name is the same as one of his dad's names, but in a different language. Think William and Liam, or John and Ian. Checking a site like behindthename.com can give you ideas

-my nephew has his dad's name as his middle name (my dad and his dad are like this, too)

-you could use the same name but go by different nicknames, if that works with the name (William=Bill or Will, Richard can be Rich or Rick). 
-name him a nickname of your husband's name: think Harry and Hank, or my grandpa is Michael and uncle is Mick
-you could consider using his name, or a genuine version of it, for your girl's name if you like that better. That way it's a name in contention (taking the pressure off the boy's name), and may be more meaningful, since a girl is less likely to keep his last name upon marriage.

If you're comfortable sharing his first name, we might be able to come up with some other related options

meggyme

I’m my husband’s family there is a lineage of men who carry the same initials. They have different, unique names but there are objects in the family that sort of get passed around because they are monogrammed with their common initials. Knowing this we wanted our first child to carry on the initials whether male or female and gave her a name that carried the same initials as MH and his father.

thoseboysmama

Depending on your man's name this works. My step mom named all her sons middle names Jackson after her husband Jack meaning son of Jack. Good luck! 

mb0112

Assuming you plan to find out the gender, I'd agree with PP about waiting to see it it's a boy or maybe it's a non-issue. I believe you should have veto power and I personally wouldn't do a junior if I wasn't feeling 100% confident I'd be with the father forever. I know married people can divorce and anything can happen but you mention it's a boyfriend and not sure how solid you feel about him being your forever partner. It would irk me to have my son named after someone I am no longer with. 

meggyme

mb0112 said:

Assuming you plan to find out the gender, I'd agree with PP about waiting to see it it's a boy or maybe it's a non-issue. I believe you should have veto power and I personally wouldn't do a junior if I wasn't feeling 100% confident I'd be with the father forever. I know married people can divorce and anything can happen but you mention it's a boyfriend and not sure how solid you feel about him being your forever partner. It would irk me to have my son named after someone I am no longer with. 

👆🏼This is a very good point! I don’t think I would want a Jr unless there were a TON of nicknames possible (Like Robert or Jonathon), but that would be magnified if I did not have an extremely solid relationship. I wouldn’t name a kid after my husband and we’ve been married 10 years.

I also have a weird superstition about naming kids after living people.

songsboutjane

Thanks for all the great advice and opinions ladies! 🙏🏽 

songsboutjane

Circling back…
it’s a girl!!! 😂 Amen!

mb0112

Crisis averted!!