PGAL Check In W/O 01/23

wanderlustsoul

This thread is for those who are pregnant after a previous loss(es). This entire thread will discuss MC, TFMR, CP, etc. 

***

Weeks/EDD?

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?

Any appointment updates?

Any big milestones?

Rants/Raves/Questions? 

wanderlustsoul

Weeks/EDD? 5w4d / Sept 22 

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Feeling more symptoms which is super reassuring. Still nervous and waiting for my next ultrasound appt. 

Any appointment updates? Good one on Friday and next is Jan 30 to see heartbeat and fetal pole. 

Any big milestones? Today. This is the equivalent of when I miscarried last time. So I’m glad to make it past that but I know i have a long journey to go. 

Rants/Raves/Questions? NATM

runningyogimama

Weeks/EDD? 6w5d - 9/14

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically?
Exhausted! Nausea also found me the last few days. 🤢 But it’s making me “feel” pregnant finally, so I’m okay with it. I’m feeling slightly more hopefully after my appointment, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be holding my breath until both the NIPT results and anatomy scan, since our NT scan even appeared perfect with my daughter.

Any appointment updates?
First appt was yesterday, and ultrasound was perfect! Baby was measuring right on track (I had 6w5d based on using my MC as LMP - baby measured 6w4d, which they’re using as due date/was what they had based on ovulation date). 

I’m doing the NIPT bloodwork 2/20 - she asked if I wanted just a lab appt the day I was 10 weeks, or to also have an appt and extra u/s for reassurance, which I obviously chose the extra u/s, which did push it a few days later, but that’s okay. 

Any big milestones?
Hearing baby’s heartbeat! The tech even recorded a video and sent it to me, which I had no idea they could do (and am kind of angry, in hindsight, I never got a video of my daughter while she was alive…but now I know they can do it and will ask!). Baby was also measuring right on track, and my daughter was measuring a week behind from the beginning (though I also ovulate later side of normal, so we didn’t question it…), and I now know trisomy babies are usually small/behind all along since they tend to be smaller, so I am feeling slightly better  (but I’m definitely not telling anyone to freak out about measuring a week behind, because two of my other kids also did just due to my ovulation date and are healthy!). 

Rants/Raves/Questions? 
We don’t plan on announcing to anyone until…definitely after the NIPT and NT, and possibly even one more ultrasound after? Idk. I’m afraid people are going to think we are replacing our daughter and forget she existed - this is our 5th, not our 4th. I also don’t want other people acting normal level of pregnancy excited towards me, because I know I won’t be able to meet that and it’s going to trigger me, plus the people who weren’t there for us when our daughter died are going to want to be there for the new baby (because everyone loves new babies, but dead babies make people too uncomfortable to deal with), which is going to piss me off, so I also dread people knowing….

anniemarie887

@wanderlustsoul glad your first appt went well, and making it past that first milestone.
@runningyogimama that's amazing you got a video. i know what you mean about announcing, we told friends over the weekend and i felt like i had to remind them all of the things i've been through in the last year and like the anxiety around this. 

Weeks/EDD? 6w2d/Sept 18

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? well hello nausea and exhaustion. yesterday was rough after a long weekend, i left the office early and went home. took a hot shower and crawled in bed at 3pm. i punted everything to MH to handle who also was exhausted and not feeling great. i basically didn't get out of bed until this morning. 

Any appointment updates? 1/26 at 9am is our first appt, less than 48 hours to go!! i thought i needed to do another round of betas last week as they showed up in mychart, they were 11,116 at 5w4d which was great.

Any big milestones? we've still got a long way to go to get to 10w and surpass my MMC. i have surpassed the two other losses at least.

Rants/Raves/Questions? natm. 

froggerblue

Weeks/EDD? 5w6d (conception) / Sept 20

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? I'm drained and tired. I feel bad to not feel happy yet.

Any appointment updates? No... Not until 3 more weeks for me, and 7 more weeks to have an update on the baby.

Any big milestones? None yet.

Rants/Raves/Questions? I'm envious that you get doctor's update so early. The doctors I've talked to wouldn't see me before the twelfth week. I got to push my appointment forward to week 8 because of my past MCs, but was told that they wouldn't check the baby at that point.

anniemarie887

@froggerblue are you in the US? i feel like 8-9w is the norm in my area, i am being seen at 6w b/c i have been working with a RE due to RPL.

froggerblue

@anniemarie887 no, I'm in Canada and it's different from province to province. In my province, there's usually no appointment before 12 weeks and for the majority of people, they meet a nurse at their first appointment (12 weeks) and don't meet the doctor before 20 weeks. If you don't know your LMP date, you can have a dating ultrasound at around 12 weeks, but usually, the first ultrasound is at 20 weeks.

anniemarie887

@froggerblue oh yea, i have 2 canadian friends. i learned a lot about how different it is! 

sdunstan

I am 8 weeks, due September 3rd


I am feeling allll the things. We lost our Riley at 16 weeks to a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks back in September and I am still broken hearted. Also the fears of walking through a missed miscarriage and always wondering could I have already lost this baby. Struggling right now.

We have our 8 week US and appt 1/26 (@anniemarie887 same day!) using our at home Doppler in between appts

No milestones yet, but 14 and 16 weeks are going to be hard. 14 weeks will be the same week as Riley’s due date.


@runningyogimama same rant as you. Don’t want to let others be excited about this baby bc it doesn’t feel like they have the right if they aren’t still grieving Riley. It’s such a hard and difficult place to be in.

runningyogimama

@sdunstan Oh my gosh, such a similar timeline! We lost our daughter at 17 weeks last September - I know I’m feeling very mixed feelings about a September due date this time.

wanderlustsoul

@froggerblue that’s quite a long time! Wow. 

@sdunstan

@runningyogimama I am so sorry that you’ve both experienced such heartbreaking losses. Your babies will never be forgotten. I follow this page on IG - heylossmamas - and I really like her. It focuses on all of this stuff. 

@anniemarie887 good luck at your appt tomorrow!!! FX for great news. 

anniemarie887

I feel like the next 24 hours are going to move at a glacial pace. I had a nightmare last night about the first appt… ugh. 

runningyogimama

@anniemarie887 I’ll be thinking of you - fx it doesn’t go too slowly!

babysavvy

Weeks/EDD? 7w4d, 9/9/23

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Watchful. Maybe hyper vigilant. Experiencing some mild cramping this morning. No spotting. Hoping it subsides soon. 

Any appointment updates? Nah, still (anxiously) awaiting my first appointment on Monday. Waiting is difficult.

Any big milestones? Nah

Rants/Raves/Questions? Not at this time.

chartput

Weeks/EDD? 8 weeks 5 days, due Sept 1st

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? So nauseous. DD also had a fever of 103 over the weekend and gave me her virus, not flu or covid, but still miserable. I stayed home with her the last two days and being sick and taking care of a 1 yr old and being pregnant is no fun.

Any appointment updates? Appt tomorrow! Im so anxious, its been 3 weeks and this will be the same timeframe we found out about our first mmc, so I will be happy to get through it. Although having been pgal before I know the anxiety doesnt go away.

Any big milestones? I heard the heart beat on my home doppler! 172 today, its giving me reassurance, but im going to try to limit to once a week.

Rants/Raves/Questions? NATM

anniemarie887

we had a great appt this morning, little blobby has a HB of 122... measuring a few days ahead at about 7w1-3d (LMP is 6w4d)

my RE is having me come back in two weeks for peace of mind, then off to my normal OBGYN on 2/17

litzi-2

Weeks/EDD? 7+5 I think sept 9 or 10

How are you feeling? Emotionally & physically? Crap. Physically the headaches are the worst, along with the other nausea and exhaustion stuff. Emotionally pretty detached. Talked to a coworker today and found out they lost their girl at 22 weeks after her water broke. It brought back the trauma from my first pregnancy. I feel so terrible for them. Any ideas on a gift for them would be appreciated. It doesn’t fix things but I want them to know I’m thinking about them.

Any appointment updates? Us on Monday. Nervous.

Any big milestones? Just passed early loss, but I agree the anxiety never goes away.

Rants/Raves/Questions? Just question above for gift. 

runningyogimama

@litzi-2 Ugh, that’s hard, but how thoughtful of you. When my daughter died (and I’m only a few months out from that), I wished people had treated it like any other birth and sent food and cards immediately, even flowers/plants - something to acknowledge her life/death and what I went through. I was in shock the first two weeks, and would have loved for someone to feed me - even like a box of muffins or cookies, just something while I was having to force myself to eat, so I didn’t have to cook. I didn’t receive anything for a month or two, but I’ve since had a few friends send me necklaces - one with my daughter’s handprints on it, one with her name and birthstone. Tangible things are good, because your arms feel so empty and heavy  - jewelry, sun-catcher, ornament, wind chimes - something with their baby’s name on it. So many people later told me they didn’t say anything or send anything because they knew nothing would make it better, but truthfully, so many people are so silent and weird when you give birth to a dead baby, and it is SO lonely, that you’d desperately do cling to all of the little tangible things. Sending anything is better than sending nothing. 

froggerblue

I'm sorry, I'm not good with gifts to be honest and maybe it's weird, but I like the idea of a plant in a pretty pot with the name or nickname of the baby.

babysavvy

Maybe do a gift card for takeout? So they don’t have to worry about that for at least one meal? And a card? My MIL gave us a card, but it was difficult for me to read. Maybe not everyone is the same. 

wanderlustsoul

@litzi-2 I agree with @runningyogimama and like the idea of a tangible gift. With my miscarriage, the hardest part I felt is that they were here and then gone and nothing was left from them. I hated that idea. So I got myself a stuffed animal and it really helped to say this little baby existed and is no longer with us. 

anniemarie887

@litzi-2 after mine we had friends bring food or send gift cards. Flowers were nice too, but honestly I didn’t function other than sleep for a good week. So not having to think too hard about food was one less burden on me. 

litzi-2

Thank you all for the replies, so so helpful!!

jennaverhaeghe

The gift I received that I liked the most when we lost our first at 20 weeks was a small picture frame. I put his ultrasound photo in it.