Pregnant after one night stand

kadie5

Hi, i have 4 children already 18,17 and 10yr old twins and split from my husband/ their father 3 years ago although we still all live together for financial reasons.
Anyway I've been seeing a guy on and off for a while nothing serious always been careful apart from this one time but now just found out im 6 wks pregnant and i dont know what to do.
On top of that i have serious health issues and take strong medication inc fentynl, so i know the pregnancy is high risk.I've started reducing some of the medication but the withdrawal is awful.

The father of the baby has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it and told me to get rid, even went as far as saying he would be suicidal if i kept it as he already has a 3 year old and has just got back with his ex and does not want to ruin his family.

My husband is surprisingly ok with it, no he does not want responsibility of another child but he is against abortion.

I just dont know what to do, i know its a risky pregnancy but it was risky when i had my twins but at the same time im 38 now. I dont really want another child but in all honesty I've never been thrilled whenever I got pregnant as it always seemed like the wrong time but actually it turned out fine.

I'm worried that if i didn't survive the birth this baby would have no one and although I'm sure my family would raise it it's not fair to rely on that.

Also i can't have the abortion pill for health reasons so it would mean surgery and i know its the same outcome yet surgery feels so much more real. I hate the idea of having it sucked out.

Any advice would be very much appreciated

kbmt

My only advice is that this is your decision. The father does not get to choose or guilt you into anything that you do not want to do. Your husband’s opinion on abortion shouldn’t make your decision either. I’m sure this is an extremely difficult decision for you, and you should focus on what you think would be best for yourself and your family.

It might be worth talking to a doctor about your risks. This can also be tricky based on where you live (with the overturn of Roe vs Wade in the US). Make sure to not allow a doctor to pressure you one way or another. Their responsibility is to give you the facts.

I’m sorry that I can’t give you more advice than this, but this is a personal decision. I wish you all the best no matter what choice you make.

kadie5

Thanks for the reply. It's so hard because i think in life the biggest regrets are the things you don't do.... So then I'm thinking that means I will regret not keeping the baby but then I thought actually maybe the regret will be not having an abortion.

Also im worried that I'm tempting fate as i already have 4 amazing healthy children and I'm older now so so much more could go wrong.

kbmt

I’m 38 and have had a perfectly healthy pregnancy so far. I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I had extreme anxiety throughout a lot of my pregnancy because of my age, but now realize that age alone doesn’t guarantee pregnancy complications. I don’t know what other factors could put you at high risk, but age alone isn’t so bad in my opinion. There is plenty of testing that you can do to determine your baby’s health. For example, had I gotten poor results from a NIPT test, I may have considered termination. Luckily, everything was good with my results. Also, your timing around abortion may be dependent on where you live unfortunately. But, if age is the primary concern, I’d look into it more and chat with a doctor.

nikestheraccoon

The daddy threatening suicide is just a ploy to control you. He can go f himself. That's a low thing to do. It takes two to tango. He knew pregnancy is a risk everytiime you have sex. 
As for high risk, I had a very healthy pregnancy at 38, so I wouldn't stress about that. The medication though is something you should talk to a doctor about.
Idk, this is a tough situation. I doubt you would regret having an abortion after you have that baby in your arms, but it will make life harder for the next couple of years. Sorry this isn't a happier time for you. 

mama_monster

Sounds like you know what you want but you're scared. Don't act out of fear or what others say they want you to do. Do what you know is right for you and your baby. Have faith, do your best, everything will fall together fine.

anna_bortion

> @kadie5 said:
> Hi, i have 4 children already 18,17 and 10yr old twins and split from my husband/ their father 3 years ago although we still all live together for financial reasons.
> Anyway I've been seeing a guy on and off for a while nothing serious always been careful apart from this one time but now just found out im 6 wks pregnant and i dont know what to do.
> On top of that i have serious health issues and take strong medication inc fentynl, so i know the pregnancy is high risk.I've started reducing some of the medication but the withdrawal is awful.
>
> The father of the baby has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it and told me to get rid, even went as far as saying he would be suicidal if i kept it as he already has a 3 year old and has just got back with his ex and does not want to ruin his family.
>
> My husband is surprisingly ok with it, no he does not want responsibility of another child but he is against abortion.
>
> I just dont know what to do, i know its a risky pregnancy but it was risky when i had my twins but at the same time im 38 now. I dont really want another child but in all honesty I've never been thrilled whenever I got pregnant as it always seemed like the wrong time but actually it turned out fine.
>
> I'm worried that if i didn't survive the birth this baby would have no one and although I'm sure my family would raise it it's not fair to rely on that.
>
> Also i can't have the abortion pill for health reasons so it would mean surgery and i know its the same outcome yet surgery feels so much more real. I hate the idea of having it sucked out.
>
> Any advice would be very much appreciated

anna_bortion

.

nhansby1980

Congrats on the healthy pregnancy mama🤩🙌🏾

knottiedbf5be781a6aef66

<blockquote class="Quote" rel="nhansby1980">Congrats on the healthy pregnancy mama🤩🙌🏾</blockquote>

For goodness sake, did you actually read the post?


OP, I won't lie in your position I would terminate, it would be very confusing and confronting for your children, especially since you all still live together with their father. Fentanyl can cause awful withdrawals for the baby when born and its pretty heavy stuff.

I hope you get a good doctor and some clarity soon x