FFCF 12/30

stashattack

Happy New Years Eve Eve! Drop your flame free confessions here

justyouraveragemama

I think lion king 2 is better than lion king

emeraldcity603

I’m not even sure I have seen Lion Kind 2. 

justyouraveragemama

It’s on Disney+ 😉

ki1244

Not Friday anymore but here's mine - my daughter is 3.5 and still poops in a diaper. She's been potty trained for pee for a year but will. Not. Poop. In. the. Toilet. She literally gets a diaper out of her own drawer, puts it on (I have the tabs set up so it's like a pull up), goes into the bathroom, sits on the toilet, poops, and has me come wipe her. It's literally the exact same thing as if she was pooping INTO the toilet but she just won't do it. She was supposed to be potty trained before starting preschool this year and we sent her anyway because she was beyond ready for it, but technically she's not fully trained yet.

emeraldcity603

@ki1244 Pooping in the toilet is really scary for kids because it has always stayed next to their bodies and suddenly it’s falling away from their bodies. I would take the diapers away and give her a small potty to use for pooping. That way, it isn’t dropping so far away and honestly at three it may stay pretty close to her body. It may help. I would just prepare her so she knows the diapers aren’t going to be available. 

Definitely no judgment. Potty training can be hard for both parents and kids. 

ki1244

@emeraldcity603 it's fully a mental thing for her - she says she's afraid if it splashing, but she refuses the little potty (we tried that a few times, no dice) nor would she go when I tried setting up a bag under the toilet seat so it falls there instead of the diaper but doesn't splash, or having me flush as soon as she pushes so it slides right down. I even did the hole-in-the-diaper trick but she caught onto it immediately and now informs me she needs a diaper "WITHOUT a slit OR a hole". We've "run out" of diapers twice now (both with daily warning for the two weeks prior of exactly how many were left), but the first time she found the emergency one in my purse and then held it all through the next day and since buying diapers is WAY better than buying a doctor visit to fix an impacted bowel, we picked up another pack. Then this week we actually did run out and she got my mom to get after me about them, which basically shamed me into buying more. Like seriously -- she knows exactly how to MANIPULATE ME VIA MY MOTHER but not take a dump in exactly the same position she does with a diaper on her ass. Everyone says it's no big deal, they don't go to kindergarten with diapers, and I'm over here like "yes but you haven't met my kid".

stashattack

@ki1244 potty training is no fun. I hated it. And while DD is day trained, I have no plans to figure out night training anytime soon. Don't feel bad. She will get it one day!

emeraldcity603

@ki1244 Does she poop in a diaper at preschool? If so, what may end up happening is a peer may see and make fun of her. Kids can be so mean and do it unintentionally, especially at that age. They ask so many inappropriate questions. Like why you have a huge zit on your nose etc. My point, she may end up getting shamed by her peers and that’s what pushes her to finally poop without a diaper. I know in my own life I have had weird things that my parents tried to get me to stop and I didn’t until I got teased by my peers. 

Side note: does your mom interfere with your parenting a lot? That is something I would set a boundary with ASAP. Under no circumstance is a grandparent ever allowed to over step. We had that happen with my parents concerning our oldest and it got ugly. We had to go no contact 4 years ago. My mom hasn’t even met 2 of my kids and she won’t be informed about this pregnancy. 

stashattack

@emeraldcity603 omg yeah I had to have a huge talk with my mom about that kinda shit. Going back to the shes the Emily to my Lorelei from Gilmore girls, she from the day she met DD, had been telling Athena she would buy her an Uber if I every got to be "too mean" to yia-yia's house. Like wtf!!! Boundaries in parenting with grandparents is huge

emeraldcity603

@stashattack I was on a road trip with my mom years ago. I had my oldest and I think I only had my oldest daughter at the time. My son was being an absolute terror and I was talking to him about his behavior. She had the audacity to tell us to “stop bickering.” I was beyond livid. I held it together for the last 2 hours of the trip but when we got back to my house I unloaded on her. I told her I was not his sister and she was never allowed to treat me like I was ever again. Looking back, we should have gone no contact at that very moment. Maybe we could have worked through the issues and reconciled at some point. It all went down hill from there in a slow but progressive way until she crossed a line that was to never ever be crossed. I saw her at my dad memorial service at the beginning of November and she was just awful to me. Treated me like I was dirt she needed to wipe from her shoes. 

tumbleweed-1

@stashattack how do you (and daughter) feel about pooping in underwear? It’s a laundry problem for sure, but at least you wouldn’t have to buy diapers and worry about them running out. We dealt with stool withholding with my son for nearly 2 years. He didn’t want to poop ANYWHERE diaper or potty. He’d hold it in for typically 3 days at a time and just be miserable. We cloth diapered, so washing soiled clothes isn’t any different than diaper laundry, I know that’s not practical for everyone. 

Not my proudest parenting moment, but I finally locked him and I in the bathroom once and wouldn’t let him out until he pooped. I hope your daughter works through her poop feelings soon and things get easier. 

emeraldcity603

@tumbleweed-1 when I potty train I will wait untiI see my kid about to poop and I pick them up and put them on the potty and hold them there until it’s done. Like, the poop is coming out and they have no choice but to finish on the potty. Some may frown on that but it’s worked. Kids are so scared to poop. It’s understandable but weird all at the same time. 

ki1244

@emeraldcity603 she doesn't poop at preschool at all -- it's only 2.5 hours twice a week, and she's a solid afternoon pooper so no overlap there. Even if she wanted to, they're sticklers about state regulations and won't even help kids wipe (it's certified as a school, not child care, so they aren't permitted to assist with toileting -- obv if a kid has an accident they'll help clean them up, but for standard potty stuff, the kids have to be self-sufficient and when it comes to pee, she fully is). We've tried the "did you know ALL YOIR FRIENDS poop in the potty too?!?!" type thing, especially since her bestie is the daughter of a good friend of mine and we both dealt with the same issue, but she ditched diapers a couple months ago. She was like "that's ok, we all do things differently!" which was maybe a backfire on my part since I've used that line with her before when she's asked those awkward questions about people.

@tumbleweed-1 she's a CHAMP at holding it. I'd be perfectly happy with a poop accident if it meant it wasn't in a diaper -- but she knows underwear is for wearing, and hadn't had an accident in almost a year now, so I fully trust she would wind up not pooping for days if I told her to just poop in her underwear.

Oh and the thing with my mom, it was innocent on Mom's part -- we actually have a pretty great relationship now (wasn't always that way but especially since we moved back to my hometown last year and live five minutes away, we've gotten WAY closer again). She didn't know the parameters I'd set about when the diapers were gone, and she probably had a point (it was a holiday weekend, must have been Thanksgiving?, and she was like "she's out of her usual routines, eating a weird diet, this is probably not the time to be a stickler for rules"). I was less annoyed at Mom for that than I was at my kid for knowing that her grandparents spoil the hell out of her, and so which tree to bark up to get her way. Like, do that when you're 8, kid, not 3.

tumbleweed-1

@ki1244 I’m sorry I tagged the wrong person as you! 😅 in my defense, my soon to be 4 year old interrupts me 100x when I’m using my phone

colsen4

I know I'm late on this but my son refused to poop on the potty after being fully trained at 2. He did it once in the little potty, looked at it, and started screaming snake. He was terrified after that. We waited 6 months then used stickers as a reward system. Taped a paper to the shower door and he got to put a sticker on when he pooped on the toilet. Took 6 months of stickers and heavy encouragement but we got there.